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 Gemini, Cinephile, Actressexual. Also loves cats. All material herein is written and copyrighted by him, unless otherwise noted. twitter | facebook | pinterest | tumblr | instagram | letterboxd | deviantart 

 

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Silence of the Lambs Retrospective

"Don't help the man with the broken arm! Don't get in his van! Too late... She does it every time. Which is why this is such a good movie: it really makes us care, and even when we know what's going to happen, we hope it won't."- Edward

"Such a great BP winner. I remember seeing it when I was a teenager and even then I noticed the eyelines being so close to the camera, and the way Clarice was framed in a male-dominated world as though she was being watched and judged." - MSD

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The Films of 2015. The 16th annual FiLM BiTCH Awards

PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL | SCENES 

 

BE WARNED. THIS PAGE CONTAINS SPOILERS

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

HERO OF THE YEAR - TBA

VILLAIN OF THE YEAR -TBA

Diva of the Year
"Carol Aird"
Cate Blanchett
CAROL
"Maria Enders"
Juliette Binoche
CLOUDS OF SILS MARIA
"Rayna Boyanov"
Rose Byrne
SPY
"Rome"
Jada Pinkett Smith
MAGIC MIKE XXL
"Steve Jobs"
Michael Fassbender
STEVE JOBS

Turn ons
:
Therese Belivet. Martinis and Cigarettes. Rindy.
Hobbies:
Dressing fabulously for multiple occassions simultaneously. Road trips. Fine Dining.
Enablers:
Abby's friendship, Harge's money
Turn offs:
Custody battles.

Turn ons
:
"Sigrid" the role that made her famous in Maloja Snake. Acting.
Hobbies:
Drinking. Laughing. Hiking. Being superior.
Enablers:
Her assistant Valentine
Turn offs:
"Helena" the older woman role in Maloja Snake. Superhero movies. Acting.

Turn ons
:
Agent Bradley Fine. Money. Herself.
Hobbies:
Belittling people. Being fabulous. Dressing like a slutty dolphin trainer
Enablers:
Terrorists, Double Agents
Turn offs:
Boredom. 'Hideous abortions' of fashion. Anyone sent to kill her.

Turn ons
:
Her independence. Female pleasure. Male bodies. "White chocolate."
Hobbies:
Gathering her queens. Complimenting her queens. Serving her queens. Emceeing
Enablers:
Subscribers. Strippers
Turn offs:
Ghosts from the past.

Turn ons
:
Himself. Conducting the Orchestra.
Hobbies:
Ruining others. Building his own myth.
Enablers:
Joanna, Wozniack, Hertzfeld, Apple
Turn offs:
Apple II. Paternity tests. Being called out on his shit. Failure.
 

 

Finalists: If only "Brooke"'s desire to be a diva could make her a great one in Mistress America. She's halfway there. At least she's a self-absorbed 'Character'; "Yves Saint Laurent" (Gaspard Ulliel) inspires divas and is his own in Saint Laurent

Semi Finalists: "Victoria" Elizabeth Debicki in The Man From UNCLE; "Brenda Morel" Jane Fonda in Youth; "Lysistrata" Teyonah Parris in Chi-Raq; "Joy" Jennifer Lawrence in Joy; "Grandma" Lily Tomlin in Grandma

 

 

Sexpot of the Year
"Big Dick Ritchie"
Joe Manganiello
MAGIC MIKE XXL
"Gabriel Oak"
Matthias Schoenaerts
FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD
"Jacques"
Louis Garrel
SAINT LAURENT
"Lysistrata"
Teyonah Parris
CHI-RAQ
"Nathan"
Oscar Isaac
EX MACHINA


Tatum cedes the spotlight to his fellow exotic dancers this time, and Manganiello really steps up, selling the comedy and sexy in this pleasurable sequel.

Andie MacDowell gets it and then gets it.


He's rich in all the ways that count, Bathsheba what on earth are you waiting for?

Loyal, Rugged, Handsome, Capable, Smart, Sexy... and kind to animals, too.


Garrel's never been this sexy (which is saying a lot) and you know the second he smiles on the dance floor, finger in mouth, that YSL will follow him into any debauchery

Will she 'do her duty and give up the booty?' No. "No Peace. No Pussy!" is an awesome rallying cry but it only works for a whole movie if you can understand how badly her man wants that "nappy pouch 


Sexier still because the role doesn't seem to call for the carnality he's constantly exuding. Those poor robots; you know he's nasty.

Now watch him tear up that dance floor! 

 

Finalists: "Oliver Lawless" (James Marsden) his desirability makes the world plot go round ;"Carol Aird" - Cate Blanchett has never been sexier than in Carol; "Margot Robbie" -Margot Robbie sending up herself as sexpot in The Big Short; "Magic Mike" (Channing Tatum) is shyer this time, handing much of the spotlight this time to his castmates and letting them handle the XXL;

Semi Finalists: "Poe Dameron" Oscar Isaac in Star Wars: The Force Awakens; "Bianca" Tessa Thompson in Creed; "Christian & Anastasia" Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson in Fifty Shades of Grey

 

 

Movie Poster of the Year
Love Magic Mike XXL Room Straight Outta Compton
Trainwreck

More bright fun and titillating than the movie but a great "teaser" in both sense of the word.

Color scheme + Typography + Star + Pose + Joke = Perfection.

How do you sell tickets w/out misrepresenting the plot? That corner in the sky is everything selling both first & second acts

Instead of riffing on the album cover, they riffed on the Parental Advisory Sticker. Brilliant insta-branding.

Occasionally mainstream studio posters do it right. An attention grabber and super memorable.
Runners Up

Finalists: Crimson Peak (blue-red double exposure series): Carol ("some people" version); Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (hanging from the plane)

Semi Finalists: The Martian (profile orange version), Ant-Man (teaser all tiny or teaser with magnifier); Hateful Eight (painted white/blue version); Jurassic World (Bryce & Rex profiles)

 

ON TO FINAL PAGE OF AWARDS