Once upon a time there lived a blogger named Nathaniel R who feared all fairy tale reinventions after the gaudiest of poison apples that was Eyesore in Wonderland left him for dead, comatose. But then on the magical day of November the 10th, this trailer for Snow White & The Huntsmen arrived and woke him with something like true love's kiss.
Or is it another trap? Is this another gaudy brain-dead horror malevolently enchanted with a Prince Charming disguise? Dare Nathaniel dream of a happy ending?
YES
- It's never a bad idea to remind us of Madonna's "Frozen" (♥) and that raven form explosion did the trick for an opening and closing gambit.
- Though the title name checks only Snow White (Kristen Stewart) and The Huntsmen (Chris Hemsworth), the trailer promises that this is totally The Evil Queen Show. And we can live with that since Charlize Theron is delicious.
- "Beauty is my power" ...that creepy yet restrained image of the queen bathed in milk (?) rather than something more cliché like a pool of blood after her opening kill... is so "pop" (think Annie Leibovitz photoshoots) but also has a mysteriously disturbing simplicity. Is the whole movie going to be this visually smart?
- My god this movie looks so beautiful. Let's see... [IMDb check] ZOMG, it's Greig Fraser on DP duty. No wonder. Remember what he did for Bright Star? He's our new favorite. And... oh... Colleen Atwood on costumes? Really? They look amazing but atypically less than alarmingly busy and fussed over (thank god) than what she concocts lately for Tim Burton.
- Did we mention that we love Charlize Theron?
- Did we mention that we love Charlize best when she embraces her inner outer beauty? When she does she's monstrously good.
No & Maybe So AFTER THE JUMP...
NO
- "there is one destined to surpass you"... this might be a suspend-your-disbelief problem with this film and with the competing Snow White picture Mirror Mirror. How the hell are Kristen Stewart and Lily Collins ever going to surpass Charlize Theron and Julia Roberts in the outer beauty and star magnetism department?
- Wait, why is Thor in this movie swinging his hammer ag--- oh okay, that's an axe. But couldn't he have learned new fighting moves since this isn't Thor 2?
- "From the producers of Alice in Wonderland" [shudder]
- Seeing Kirsten Stewart all drowned-rat like in the river reminds us too much of that hateful, "I miss my boyfriend too much to live" terribly messaging in Twilight: New Moon. "I'd rather die than not have a boyfriend" UGH Bella is so tiresome and the world's most atrocious role model for young women!
- Wait why is Snow White in armor like a bad ass fighting bitch? This woman warrior thing is getting so cliché. Is this solely to remind us of Alice in Wonderland? STOP IT.
MAYBE SO
- Love the narration but why does Charlize Theron sound exactly like Cate Blanchett?
- The magic mirror effect is cool but seems a bit CGI for CGI's sake. It isn't content to speak from its home on the wall? But even so, it's still restrained enough to give us hope that this movie will understand the power of wowing through eye popping visuals that you can actually look at because every single thing in the frame is not competing with them. Bless.
- First time director, huh? This looks pretty confident but you can't always know from trailers. Please let Rupert Sanders be a real Prince Charming.
I'm trying to lean Maybe So. It's always best to restrain oneself and thereby more easily find those "wow, what a surprise!" moments in theater. "From the producers of Alice in Wonderland" helps me do that. But then the ending of the trailer is just so beautifully composed, timed, and evvvvvvvvil queen perfect.
Lips red as blood
Hair black as night
Bring me your heart
My dear dear Snow White.
I'm in love, for better or worse; the spell took. You'll find me in either a glass coffin or living happily ever after next summer after this movie has its wicked wicked way with me.
What say ye?