NATHANIEL: For this episode of Red Carpet Convos, I'm joined by our resident fashion-obsessive Jose and Kurt. We begin with ... oh help me. It's THE HELP. I feel like I have done nothing but talk about that movie this week.
KURT: 'The Help Experience'.
NATHANIEL: Which would work as that movie's title... were it not for that pesky Emma Stone ;). It's totally overthrown Rise of the Planet of the Apes already in conversation.
Aibilene, Celia, Skeeter, Minnie and Hilly
JOSE: Confused by Ron Howard's kid and Jessica Chastain again, which one's which?
NATHANIEL: The pregnant one is always Bryce Dallas Howard
KURT: Is that to say she's perpetually pregnant?
NATHANIEL: I feel like she's had four children already. But i think this is just her second.
JOSE: She's still pregnant? She and Natalie Portman gestated like elephants. I thought she was just wearing a bad empire cut
KURT: well since we seem to be working backwards, let's talk about Ms. Howard. Jose are you very familiar with her red carpet looks? cuz i'm not
JOSE: actually no, though somehow I happen to be a big fan of her underrated-ness.
NATHANIEL: She went very patriotic for this red carpet. Perhaps to counterbalance how dastardly Ugly American her character Hilly is?
KURT: she should have worn a confederate flag
JOSE: see what I can gather from her look is that color blocking is already hard for the skinny starlets, so pregnant ladies should stay away from it, this reminds me of Uma's yodeling costume from the Oscars a few years ago
NATHANIEL: Ah, I think it's lovely or would be without the primary colors.
KURT: agreed about the color blocking. reminds me someone a few seasons ago of Project Runway - can't remember her name.
NATHANIEL: reality show contestants fade in memory practically instantly -- celebrity meat grinder that. I love Project Runway and I can never remember people's names after the next cast has replaced them.
JOSE: oooh nice connection Kurt, since freaking Heidi Klum is always pregnant as well
KURT: word. Bryce should have worn a variation of that floral thing that makes it into all the promo stills. i kind of love that look.
NATHANIEL: Octavia Spencer. This is a lovely color I think but the clutch is cracking me up. It's so flat and shiny that what could you keep in there other than maybe all the movie contracts you're thinking of signing now that you've had your breakout role.KURT: yea its weird like a trapper keeper
NATHANIEL: Omg. maybe she's got homework or a slambook inside?
JOSE: Love the cut and the cleavage, since bigger ladies usually go for huge priest-robe like dresses, the mid-length cut is absolutely perfect
KURT: yes the dress is pretty. is the wrap too much?
NATHANIEL: I like it. But then I like gossamer loveliness in general.
KURT: well at least it's not draped over her like a JLo doilie and i wont say anything else about Jlo -- i promise!
JOSE: LOL
NATHANIEL: Good. cuz she's not even here this time. PRESENT TENSE people. I don't really get this as a premiere look for Emma Stone. She looks like she might be whisked away at any moment should there be a strong gust of wind. Tiny tiny. Maybe she needs heavier colors as she's already lighter than air.
JOSE: is Emma auditioning for Boardwalk Empire?
KURT: i don't know why it needed that shirt thing
JOSE: she's been doing the 20's flapper look a LOT recently... like at the Teen Choice Awards.
KURT: there's a beautiful look under there somewhere
NATHANIEL: Flappers for the win. I'm always hoping the 20s come roaring back.
JOSE: I actually think she looks breathtaking, you do not question Chanel Couture gentlemen. Love the color, the leg slit and the top is slightly revealing without being slutty. Also, her tiny bag looks like a cloud! All she's missing are tiny cherubs arranging her hair.
NATHANIEL: awww, cherubs.
KURT: well it certainly isn't slutty. i'll take it as a demure nod to the potato-sack-clad skeeter
NATHANIEL: Hee. What do we think of Jessica Chastain? I'm sure this will change since she's "new" but every time I see her i think she's a different person. Either she's the new primo chameleon actor or i just am not familiar with her face yet. I mean from The Tree of Life to The Help? How is this the same person?
KURT: i feel exactly the same way and i'm extrememly fascinated by it. to the extent that the poster for The Debt -- another drastic departure -- gives me chills a little bit like, 'ooh..what else can she do?'
JOSE: play Bryce in a biopic!
NATHANIEL: !!!!
KURT: hehe
NATHANIEL: Whoever mimics Ron Howard wins Best Supporting Actor. Calling it now.
JOSE: Easy. Rupert Grint
NATHANIEL: LOL
JOSE: Benjamin Button-ized, Daniel Radcliffe will roll in his Tony-less grave
KURT: OMG, Nat.. we're getting back into that red-headed actor discussion which, Jose, was a search for desirable male redheads in hollywood or in entertainment in general (getting off topic...sorry)
JOSE: well if either Rupert or Ron were in your lists I feel for you, boys. The redheaded women got the best in this contest
KURT: Ha (Rupert was in mine!)
Tom Felton and Fan of Tom FeltonNATHANIEL: If we had done this discussion last week i had a red carpet lineup from the Planet of the Apes premiere (too passe now) and Rupert was wearing a "I Heart Tom Felton" t-shirt which made me laugh. And then at his next event he wore "I ♥ NY" He has a lotta love to go round.KURT: interesting
NATHANIEL: But the I Heart Tom Felton thing was hilar' because a) somebody needs to and b) wouldn't it be hilarious if all actors showed up at premieres wearing their love for another actor? Imagine.
JOSE: ah like when Madge did the Kylie and Britney tees for a while
NATHANIEL: That.
KURT: I would snatch Emma Stone's "I ♥ Allison Janney" tee in a second. and wear it around town
NATHANIEL: and who would Viola Davis would wear!? Meryl Streep? Denzel? or throw us for a loop and go with "I ♥ Clooney in 'Solaris' "
JOSE: The only thing to heart about Solaris are Clooney's moons
KURT: how about, "I ♥ Movie Stars Who Steal My Thunder?"
NATHANIEL: But that would be a DAMN DIRTY LIE since she always steals the movies from them!
JOSE: she could go with an ironic "Amy Adams made me lose an Oscar" suit
KURT: god do i wish she won the oscar that year
JOSE: and have Pe be Oscar-less? You break my heart Kurt
JOSE: and have Pe be Oscar-less? You break my heart Kurt
NATHANIEL: Can we all agree that she's best dressed? She always looks sensaysh at awards shows I think.
Which is why she should always be Oscar nominated.
KURT: i agree with you Nat. sorry, Jose.
JOSE: I have to go with Emma (as always), I think Viola looks stunning in Escada but she's so safe all the time
KURT: but Viola's figure looks killer in clothes.
JOSE: absolutely but if we didn't know her I'm sure we wouldn't pick her out from a red carpet, she's gorgeous but should be a little bit more out there, like Helen Mirren. Viola is in need of some Alexander McQueen in her life.
JOSE: absolutely but if we didn't know her I'm sure we wouldn't pick her out from a red carpet, she's gorgeous but should be a little bit more out there, like Helen Mirren. Viola is in need of some Alexander McQueen in her life.
NATHANIEL: Yes, on the bod. I think she secretly works out to Angela Bassett's workout tapes from What's Love Got To Do With It.
JOSE: as long as she doesn't try the Tina hair I'm OK
KURT: I'm more than a little obsessed with Viola. But for the record, since we seem to be moving on, i am so not on the Octavia Spencer train.
Viola Davis and Angela Bassett, Summer 2011 Looks
NATHANIEL: Viola has Angela Bassett's old career now, right?, in terms of heat/acclaim. But without the romantic roles that Bassett briefly got. Discuss.
Or actually maybe we should let the readers take that one in the comments.
JOSE: gentlemen I'm sorry to cut this short but I have a flight to catch...
KURT: aww, ok! you will be missed.
NATHANIEL: sniffle.
JOSE: thanks for letting me talk Emma, enjoy the rest of the gals XOXO
KURT: and then there were two
NATHANIEL: QUICK FIRE ROUND. Teen Choice Awards Old Ladies.
Zooey, Tyra, Elizabeth, Zoe, and AnnaSophiaKURT: I can't say anything without addressing Tyra Banks first. This is totally out of hand: Julie Newmar Meets Trinity in Pittsburgh -- Black and Yellow Black and Yellow! it's very innappropriate for the event i think
NATHANIEL: She's starring in Grease 3: The Return of Sandy. My guess is the hit single will be "Hopelessly Devoted to Me!"
KURT: seriously. "and MY own twisted universe". I think Zooey Deschanel looks very cute and true to her whole image.
NATHANIEL: Yep. She's going to burst out into one of her twee retro singsongs at any moment.
KURT: i just saw an ad for her new sitcom not moments ago. first i'd heard of it. she so does not read sitcom to me.
NATHANIEL: Whenever people opt for the headliner route on TV I always wonder about what their management or the star in question decided about their career as is and its future prospects and if there was a lot of angst about the decision. Because it's always a major shift from then on. Sometimes it makes the person a ginormous celebrity (see Sarah Jessica Parker) other times it's the end or the first step on downward slope. Weird that she got none of the career oomph from (500) Days of Summer that JGL got. Despite the film virtually worshipping her blue eyed beauty.
KURT: I know TV is in this whole renaissance state, but those things still scream red flag to me. like Maria Bello in Prime Suspect
NATHANIEL: There's another actress who didn't get the career boost she deserved. Like HOW does Hollywood watch Bello in A History of Violence and then shove her into lame "wife" roles thereafter. That was basically a "look how A list I am" performance. And then. [crickets]
KURT: yes, i don't know why she didn't drum up the respect she deserved. and i can't believe she's never been oscar nominated i think she should have made it in for the cooler as well.
NATHANIEL: Now i am sad which is not conducive to good red carpet conversations!
Three final thoughts: Elizabeth Banks screams confident. Zoe Saldana basically commissioned Peggy Sue Got Married's High School reunion dress only with a 'make it sexier, and modern' command.
KURT: I see that.
KURT: I see that.
NATHANIEL: I included AnnaSophia Robb because she was one of the only actual teenagers i recognized from the teen choice red carpet photos -- there were a million fresh faces from new tv shows ¾ of which will be cancelled any second. I love that she looks like she was run over by a car. Tire-track-skidding-to-a-halt dress.KURT: I find the one-arm strap amusing, seeing as she was in that movie about a girl who loses an arm to a shark attack.
NATHANIEL: Synergy from screen to red carpet!