The final episode of True Blood's witchy season four had a cleft heart, one half beating only for past glories (i.e. Season 4 ... or even earlier seasons) and the other half beating for an imagined future (Season 5 if you'd like to get cynical about it). You could just about divide the sprawling cast down the center as to which half they belonged to, some characters hanging on to the past either tearfully, fearfully or violently (Marnie, Eric, Bill, Debbie, Hoyt, Arlene, Pam), others ready to forge ahead and move on with varying degrees of optimism, fear, and willpower (Sookie, Jessica, Jason, Tara, Sam, Holly & Andy). It's the very drama that infuses the episode's opening conversation with Jesus & Lafayette. Isn't that always the drama of the heart?
Jesus and Lafayette (who is actually Marnie!) over breakfast eggs.
4.12 "And When I Die"
Not that True Blood thrives on "the universal". Most of us don't have to worry about malevolent spirits possessing our lovers, stabbing our hands over breakfast, duct-taping us to our chairs, and stealing our demon-headed magic while thrusting a butcher knife into our heart. But maybe Jesus, familiar with both violence-prone spirits and demon-headed Crazy, should've worried himself towards a protection spell or some such! Goodbye Jesus (2010-2011) we hardly knew you. Goodbye Kevin Alejandro, go-to guy for "regular cast" killings (see also: Southland).
True Blood's season finale had a cleft heart but its body was divvied up into smaller pieces, drawn and quartered one might say.
If that sounds torturous, it definitely was... at least for the characters. And maybe some audiences members who wanted a more cohesive finale. More after the jump, plus best & worst of the season.
As it turns out Marnie's bloody war from beyond the grave claimed only Jesus since Sookie and Tara rescued Bill & Eric from her vamp-hating clutches (again) with the help of Holly (quickly becoming a favorite character!). But semi-happy resolutions aside, there's enough Post Tramautic Stress to go around: there are funerals to attend from last week's episode (Sam & Maxine, memorably, are the only ones who show to Tommy's), ghostly visitations due to the Marnie-defeating rescue spell in which the dead are summoned (poor Arlene, face to face with her serial killing ex again), and explosive scares to set up Season 5. The latter include everything from Jason visited by his vamp-hating old pastor (now a vampire), Bill & Eric realizing there's a vamp war brewing and killing Nan who they know can threaten Sookie (damnit. Loved Nan), Debbie's bloody rampage against Sookie, and her ex Alcides realizing that King Russell (Denis O'Hare) has escaped his cement burial from the tail end of Season 3. Or, rather, the audience realizing that since Alcides is too dense and/or often sidelined from the details to understand the full story. Ever.
Fresh Meat: Scott Foley is playing an old military friend of Terry's. He's clearly trouble; Body Count: 1 vampire (Nan), 1 werewolf (Debbie), 5 humans... two of them regular title credit characters (Jesus & Tara). Although with Tara (Rutina Wesley)... Season 5 could always hold a "she was only mostly dead" surprise. You know how this show do.; Sex Scenes: 1 twixt the boy toy (Ryan Kwanten) and the boob-shy (Deborah Ann Woll); Trashiest Moment: 'That's quite a costume you've got there Lisa, what are you supposed to be?'
Janelle from Teen Mom Two.
Arlene's daughter is a pregnant teen for Halloween. LOL. This Halloween scene also lets the True Blood writing team get in a fun meta zinger about pop culture "Zombies. They're the new vampires, haven't you heard?" Funniest Moment: Maxine manages to say "church shoes" "stole a pair of panties" "call me Mamma from now on" and "pork rind casserole" all in the space of 45 seconds. At a funeral. She's too much! By which I mean Perfect. Best Sookie Moment: Dumping Eric & Bill simultaneously. Yes!; MVP: Jason (Ryan Kwanten) making peace with himself if not Hoyt and falling hesitantly for Jessica. He's been good all season of course... once loosed from that terrible were-panther plot (but more on that soon); Episode Grade: B-
SEASON 4 AWARDAGE / SUMMARY
I'm just a fairy honey, aint nuthin' scary about that."
WORST STORYLINE: the were-panthers (runner up: evil fairies)
BEST STORYLINE: Eric's memory loss.
BEST PROMOTED PLAYER: Lauren Bowles as "Holly", the wiccan with a tart but never mean spirited tongue, an actress with a uncanny likeability, and a sly sideways approach to the drama and comedy. You're not always sure you're there until you're there. On a show overflowing with supernaturals Holly is refreshingly and relatably human and not trapped in endlessly looping romantic dramas (yet). She's Arlene II albeit with less comedy.
WORST PROMOTED PLAYER: Kevin Alejandro as "Jesus"... they were weirdly tame about his relationship to Lafayette and weirdly vague about his magic too. All that build up just to kill him off?
WORST SEASON 5 PLOT SET-UP: King Russell again? Ugh. I get that many fans liked him but repeating your Big Bad on a series that already has plot loop problems is Maximum Danger Zone.
BEST SEASON 5 PLOT SET-UP: I take it that the werewolf chief's murder must be addressed? Which means more Sam (yay) and more integrated Alcides storylines.
WEIRDLY NONSEXUAL HYPERSEXUALIZATION: Alcides (Joe Mangianello), who is rarely successfully integrated into the storyline, seems to exist solely as eye candy... so why is his storyline always so bereft of actual sex?
WEIRDLY ASEXUAL GIVEN THE SHOW'S HYPER SEXUALITY: Lafayette & Jesus. The only main characters without sex scenes. (Yes even Arlene, Terry and Andy got action). Is it the gay?
BEST SEASON 5 CHARACTER ARC SET-UP: If if holds, Sookie as a single woman. New storylines, even new romantic ones, would taste more delicious than any fairy blood!
WORST SEASON 5 CHARACTER ARC SET-UP: You know... pretty happy with where they seem to be taking everyone... but for Tara, who finally got some different less-anger based stuff to work with and seemed to be improving as characters go. And Death is the answer? :(
BEST SEASON 4 CHARACTER ARC: Jessica's ongoing journey to self-actualized vampire and sex-fiend (loved that randy Little Red Riding Hood getup in this last episode).
WORST SEASON 4 CHARACTER ARC: In mulling it over, was it just me or did Lafayette have literally nothing interesting to act this season, despite the magic medium bit.
MOST UNDERUTILIZED VALUABLE PLAYERS: Sam & Arlene... Sam Trammell and Carrie Preston are two of the most gifted actors on the show... and too often sidelined.
MOST OVERUTILIZED TWOSOME: Bill & Eric. They've hogged so much plot for four years that both might be revitalized if they took a back seat to the vampires they sired, at least for half a season, storywise.
JUST RIGHT: True Blood's showrunners seem to know just when a little helping of Maxine, a moment with Holly or Hoyt, a juicy dripping side with Pam and even a tiny pinch of Ginger (who would be unbearable in large doses) are needed and beneficial... now if only they'd get the right balance with Bill, Eric, Sam and Sookie.
MOST FRUSTRATING RECURRING VISUAL MOTIF: Jason constantly horizontal -- and not for sexual purposes -- nearly all season, whether he was chained to beds, almost burned alive, or beaten up and left for dead. This had a weird echo in the abundantly recurring visual of the main vampires chained to their beds with silver... though that visual at least had comic energy... especially when Nan was threatening everyone with True Death. LOL. Good times.
ABANDONED PLOTLINE HALL OF FAME: We don't wish for its return but you have to admit that it made zero sense that Cristal the were-panther never returned. She was definitely not getting Jason's message about staying clear of him in her Haze o' Crazy.
BODY COUNT: 15 vampires (8 regular, 6 in flashback, 1 queen), 15 humans (7 of them employed by vampires -- always a high risk job that one hopes comes with high hazard pay and massive life insurance policy), 2 shifters, 2 fairies, 2 werewolves, 1 werepather, 1 snake, 1 goat. Finally, we salute 1 witch (in ye olden times) and 1 bird who died twice and thank them for all the beautiful trouble they caused this season.
SEX SEX SEX: 5 scenes: Jason; 4 scenes: Sookie, Eric; 3 scenes: Bill, Jessica; 2 scenes: Luna; 1 scene: Andy, Sam, Arlene, Terry, Hoyt, Tommy, Alcides, Debby, and Tara
BEST SEX SCENE: Both three way dream sequences were fun (Sookie + Bill & Eric and Jason + Jessica & Hoyt!?) but maybe this one goes to Jason & Jessica's romp in this last episode: hot, character-driven.
WORST SEX SCENE: I'm sorry but WTF with that snowy dreamland for Eric & Sookie?
GROSSEST DEATH: Eric's preferred yank heart out move, with its gross shades of King Russell.
gif via Foolish Flower
BEST EPISODE: #4.2 "You Smell Like Dinner" (runner up: #4.10 "Burning Down the House")
WORST EPISODE: #4.1 "She's Not There" (runner up: #4.12 just discussed)
SEASON MVP: Eric (Alexander Skarsgøård) in the first half of the season before Sookie's vagina unfortunately tamed him, Marnie (Fiona Shaw) in the second half of the season when the magic made her cuckoo.
SEASON 4 GRADE: B+ It came and went with a whimper but there sure was a lot of BANG inbetween.
Season 4 True Blood
4.1 "She's Not There" MVP: Marnie; Grade: C
4.2 "You Smell Like Dinner" MVP: Eric; Grade: A
4.3 "If You Love Me Why...?" MVP: Eric; Grade: B+
4.4 "I'm Alive and On Fire" MVP: Sookie; Grade: B+
4.5 "Me and the Devil" MVP: Arlene; Grade: A-
4.6 "I Wish I Was the Moon" MVP: Pam; Grade: B
4.7 "Cold Grey Light..." MVP: Jessica; Grade: B-
4.8 "Spellbound" MVP: The Fortenberrys (Hoyt & Maxine); Grade: B+
4.9 "Let's Get Out of Here" MVP: Sam; Grade: B
4.10 "Burning Down the House" MVP: Marnie; Grade: A-
4.11 "Soul of Fire" MVP: Marnie; Grade: B+
4.12 "And When I Die" MVP: Jason; Grade: C+