as tempting as it is, we can't blame everything on Kate Hudson Michael C. here with some constructive criticism for the rom-coms of the world. Is there any genre in more dire straits than the romantic comedy? If you counted the genuinely great recent examples on your fingers you would be back in the 90’s before you ran out of digits.
I’d love to write a post outlining a scenario where the rom-com is saved but I don’t see that happening. Not unless the current movie industry is demolished wholesale and replaced with a system that doesn’t release a shamelessly mediocre product in the hopes of turning a modest profit before forever banishing the title to the murky depths of Netflix Instant. Such daydreaming is fun but let’s be serious. Better to ask the more practical question:
What are some quick fixes for the Romantic Comedy?
I’m not asking the world here. Hollywood can keep the meet cute, the gay best friend, and running to the airport. I’m talking a few pet peeves that if eliminated could lift the genre up a notch or two. Amy Adams’ time is valuable. Let’s not waste it. So with that in mind here are a few plot devices that rom-coms should cease and desist using immediately...
Dream Girls, Opposites and Whack Jobs with Wacky Jobs after the jump...
The Blank Slate Dream Girl
Sample Offenders: Midnight in Paris, Whatever Works, 500 Days of Summer
This character pops up when the romantic leads don’t end up together and the movie needs a last minute save so test audiences don’t label it a downer. So in swoops the Blank Slate Dream Girl during the film’s closing moments. Who is she? Where did she come from? Is she compatible with the protagonist? “Who cares,” answers the screenplay. The BSDG is a big bowl of perfect that appears two steps ahead of the credits in order to fall instantly in love with the hero and rescue the film’s positive word of mouth. In Midnight in Paris Owen Wilson ends up with the cute girl he spoke to for thirty seconds about records. Happy ending!
A while back I begged screenwriters to banish the psycho boyfriend/bitch girlfriend from movies on the grounds that it’s a cheap plot device that shatters the believability of the story. Same goes for this shell of a character.
Wacky Jobs
Sample Offenders: All About Steve, Failure to Launch, The Back-up Plan
Romantic Comedies need new backup plansI sympathize with a writer's need to find ways to make characters pop, but hanging a ca-raaazy occupation on them is basically an admission that little to no thought went into them past their job title. Worse yet, it leads to excruciating scenes like the one in The Back-up Plan where dairy artisan Alex O’Loughlin explains to Jennifer Lopez that she is his “cheese muse” and inspired him to create a new strain of goat cheese that is sweet and sassy. Just like J. Lo! All this while drippy romantic music plays in a futile attempt to convince us this is charming and not creepy.
Reminder: Billy Wilder made a romance for the ages about an accountant and an elevator operator and I defy anybody to tell me the occupations of Harry and Sally without looking it up.
Arbitrary Rules
Sample Offenders: What’s Your Number?, I Hate Valentines Day, Leap Year
When the leading lady can’t find love because she clings to a random set of rules, it’s not endearing. It’s psychosis. It’s hard to engender audience sympathy when the words “or not” can be tacked on to the film’s premise without consequence. “Nia Vardalos can only go on five dates with a guy before they have to break up! Or not!” “Anna Faris has to find a soul mate from among her past boyfriends! Or not!” I get that not every love story can be the Capulets and Montagues, but a character who panics when perfect happiness falls in her lap because it defies a set of rules plucked from thin air does not a conflict make.
Opposites Attract (Beyond All Reason)
Sample Offenders: Knocked Up, As Good As It Gets, The Ugly Truth
There is a big difference between comically mismatched and utterly incompatible. Yet Hollywood is convinced that with enough screenwriting acrobatics the latter can be forced together. Thus we get romances where characters end up together who have no business sharing a cab, let alone a romance. These love stories always end abruptly in an attempt to convince us that any scene where they successfully tolerate each other for five minutes is a fairy tale happy ending and that Katherine Heigel and Seth Rogen aren’t headed for a breakup within minutes of getting that baby home.
Now that I've had my say keep the list going. What romantic comedy device drives you up the wall? Trust me, it feels good to vent. You can follow Michael C. on Twitter at @SeriousFilm or read his blog Serious Film.