6 Thoughts I Had While Staring at Tom Cruise's W Cover
Wednesday, May 9, 2012 at 11:00AM
NATHANIEL R in The Master, Thoughts I Had..., Tom Cruise, celebrity portraiture, magazines

The Rock of Ages push has begun...

• The model to the left must have heard our theory about Tom Cruise's magic sperm: it unlocks great actressing powers ... time-delayed. The effect is only triggered once you are no longer in contact with the stuff (see Mimi Rogers, Penélope Cruz, and Nicole Kidman who all began to do magical work after dumping him)

• Dragon tails are the new nipple clamps.

• Of all the movie stars who have ever worn guyliner, Ewan McGregor wins.

• Why do they photoshop movie stars -- who, generally speaking, are the best looking people on the planet -- to the point where they're barely recognizable? No matter what you think of Tom Cruise he looks pretty great for someone hitting the half century mark.

• What do you suppose the model to the right is whispering in his ear? I'm guessing "Xenuuuuuuuu"

• If Paul Thomas Anderson's 2012 release The Master is really a thinly veiled Scientology movie, do you think it was inspired by his time with Cruise on the Magnolia set. And if so, is Mr. Cruise going to be pissed?

Article originally appeared on The Film Experience (http://thefilmexperience.net/).
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