After a disappointing return to Bon Temps I was all primed for something closer to satisfying from the second episode of this storied show's fifth season but instead of excitement the True Blood team offered more set-up as if this were part two of the season opener rather than a stand-alone episode or a compelling stakes-raiser. When will this season actually begin? Any movie that hadn't begun after 1 hour and 30 minutes would be universally shunned but unfortunately TV series can get away with doing nothing for hours on end, everyone assuming (generously) that "something will happen next time."
In a complete dereliction of duty, and a complete absence of self-awareness, True Blood refuses to de-clothe Chris Meloni in "Authority Always Wins"
As far I can tell there are 5 major story threads going on...
- The Authority vs. Russell (Denis O'Hare) who they thought was dead. Starring Bill & Eric.
- Tara is now a Vampire after we thought her dead. Starring Tara, Sookie, Pam & Lafayette.
- Werewolf PackPower Struggle once their pack leader is found dead. Starring Sam, Luna, & Alcides.
- The love between Jessica ♥ Jason has died and now everyone in Bon Temps is lovelorn and lonely... particularly the plain ol' human characters and solo girl vamps who used to always hang with their makers. Starring Jason & Jessica & Hoyt & Reverend Newlend & Sheriff Andy & Holly & Pam.
- War vet buddies are haunted by a dangerous loose cannon among them. Starring Terry & Arlene.
Within these five general stories are (presumably) little minor stories starring only one or two of the characters bringing us to the very obvious conclusion that there are too many characters is not enough of a show-running directive / understanding that "ensemble" actually means 'a large group of characters' rather than 'abundant solo acts.' Frankly, I'm losing interest. It's like a very mild (hopefully tentative) version of that time a few months back when Glee returned from hiatus and I suddenly and violently knew I simply Could Not anymore with that show. Ugh.
the only emotionally engaging thread in "Authority Always Wins" took place a century ago!
Draining the Episode Dry
Body Count: 2 (Humans in Pam/Eric flashbacks); Sex Scenes: 0; Fresh Meat: The sickeningly sexy Chris Meloni joins the cast of the most naked show on television... completely clothed. Which tells you everything you need to know about the catastrophe that season 5 is threa... you know what? I CAN'T. I CAN'T.
Today I'd much rather talk about Teen Wolf.
Ten Best Things About Season 2 Teen Wolf (thus far)
10 Even when the relationships make you groan/giggle -- almost always -- you can still care about them. Maybe because they're teenagers and you can forgive teenagers a lot. Maybe because it's only been 1 Season and they aren't replaying the same drama for years on end (yet). Maybe because the show doesn't take itself too seriously but genuinely seems to be fond of its characters.
09 Season 2's supposed edict "more emotions, less clothing" is so far totally true.
eight more bests after the jump
08 That HILARIOUSLY overwrought Season 2 slo-mo intro when Colton Haynes emerges from the water with his shirt torn open so carefully and so muchly that you have to laugh at the absurdity that they put him in a shirt at all. They keep exploiting the actor this way and it's kind of wonderful on a number of different levels not least because the character is so vain andaltogether deserving of being treated like a piece of meat.
07 The peripheral characters. Weirdly for a show made for MTV, the parents actually get quite a lot to do. They aren't exactly developed as characters but neither are they always the scapegoats or obstacles. Stiles dad and Scott's mom are both sympathetic figures. And even Alyson's family, in many ways the Big Bad, aren't wholly portrayed as Bad People. Plus there's Gay Danny. The show hasn't figured out how to use him (and let's hope it does but at least he's a) there and b) just as crazy attractive as the other characters and c) nobody has an issue with his gayness which is refreshing with the actual plot even if "nobody having an issue with his gayness" is kind of undercut by the non plot of him being entirely devoid of romantic drama unlike everyone else on the show.
06 The Kanima. Creepy and sad and that neck paralysis bit?... [shudder] Plus monsters who have as many hangups about their own reflection as human beings do, win immediate sympathy and flexible Walking Anthropomorphism points (see also: Medusa, Vampires)
05 It seems to have learned from Buffy about using high school teenage dramas as a metaphor for anything. The moment when a new werewolf had to choose between a powerful mean girl type werewolf clique and the less cool loner who is actually way better for him worked because it tapped right into Eternal Internal Teen Debate.
04 Like Buffy's vampiric flings, the central Romeo & Juliet inspired romance (the Werewolf loves the daughter of werewolf hunters) does feel like it can't end well. Which gives it the expected dramatic friction but also comedy, too since the lovebirds are abjectly terrible at pretending to not be dating.
Stiles (always endearing) & Scott (always in trouble)
03 I ♥ Stiles. Dylan O'Brien was the show's secret weapon in Season 1 and is obviously the Xander Harris equivalent (geeky endearing most human human on supernatural show) in this the latest ancestor of the ever influential Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The difference here is that he's had to work harder than Nicholas Brendon as Xander because this show definitely has no Sarah Michelle Gellar awesomeness equivalency. Sorry, Tyler Posey! (Unfortunately it also has no Alyson Hanagan equivalency either so it's struggling with the ladies. Hopefully they'll get more interesting. Holland Roden as "Lydia" has some promise)
02 The eyes. Love the eyes. Red. Yellow. Spooky. Sexy.
01 It has moments that feel genuinely and improbably dangerous. How sick was that knife in the gut scene between the Teen Wolf and his girlfriend's werewolf killing grandfather? How terrifying was it to realize that the Kanima had poisoned Stiles? It's either because these moments are directed well or because the show hasn't yet lived long enough to teach us that in no way shape or form will it kill off any of its main characters even when everything about a storyline suggests that that's the only logical thing to do. (Oh Hai True Blood.)
Are you watching Teen Wolf?
Do you still love True Blood or are you losing patience?