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6:25 I thought about calling this Emmy Live Blog: Now With Less Pneumonia! (I think I'm on the mend) or Pneumatic Emmy Live Blog! but they both sound too contagious.
6:30 I love the Emmy statue but I don't think any golden statues should have deadly points. There's already enough drama without weaponizing the things.
6: 32 "It involves sex, sharp objects"... actual quote from Lena Dunham just as I was typing that thing about Emmy Statues. I'm not making this up.
6:39 Charlize "J'Adore Dior" commercial. I secretly wish she would introduce all her red carpets outfits that way. A golden aggressive strut to each camera with a breathy whisper ... "Gucci".... "Dior Haute Couture" ... "Valentino"
6:42 Max Greenfield's date would like everyone to know SHE'S WITH MAX GREENFIELD. Clingy!
I want an Emmys night full of redheads! @_juliannemoore and Christina Hendricks #FTW
-awesome TFE reader @Luiserghio
YES. Ginger looks good holding gold. Speaking of...
The stars of the new "Nashville" Connie Britton & Hayden Panetierre
I watched the pilot of "Nashville" (Not Related to the Altman Classic!) and I dunno. MORE EMMY TALK...
It's one of those shows that was trying to do a lot in one "Introducing...!" episode. But Connie Britton was great (duh*) and Hayden was actually unterrible as a deliciously narcissistic auto-tuned über bitch.
*this is like saying Nathaniel loves Actresses. It goes without saying.
7:00 Tina Fey is talking about the end of 30 Rock. Only 13 more episodes. *crying*
7:01 Guiliana tells Emily VanCamp that "you are kind of an 'it' girl". Oh Guiliana... there is no such thing as "kind of" when it comes to "It". You either are or you aren't.
7:05 January Jones and Elisabeth Moss have switched hair colors. Nothing in the world makes sense right now.
7:07 Sofia Vergara is the new Charo (sans catchphrase unfortunately). Shameless!
Julianne Hough gets 3 minutes. Julianna Margulies gets 30 sec. At this rate, Julianne Moore will be lucky to get 3 seconds air time. #Emmys "
-awesome TFE reader sortathatboy
7:23 That's so true about arrivals. They arrive in order of fame which just goes to show you that the big stars don't really like working the carpet that much. Show up late. Be done quick.
7:27 This shot of Christina Hendricks laughing is brought to you by my fear that she'll lose again so we will drink up all her happiness right now.
7:28 It's going to be so weird to see Claire Danes with boobs. Just a few months from now!
7:33 Nobody can make "I'm really excited about it" sound more like "I'm not excited at all" than Zooey Deschanel.
7:39 Julianne Moore is in YELLOW. FYI.
Gaze away. She's used to it.
THE SHOW
8:08 I should probably start a new post but I'm too weak. cough cough. I never know how to live blog opening monologues because they're so rapid fire. Or montages for that matter. If you type you miss everything. Supporting Actor Comedy Series goes to... Eric Stonestreet in Modern Family.
8:13 Off to the side of stage there seems to be a miniature red carpet where the winners have to go through the flashbulb gauntlet again. It's right on the stage -- like a magazine sidebar, made flesh and blood!. The Emmy Statue next to it appears to be the same color as Julianne's dress. It's a sign!
8:19 In case you're wondering I don't recommend attempting this from home. With pneumonia.
9:20 Best Writing Comedy Series goes to... Louie "Pregnant" Episode. Oh god, I forgot to include him in our awesome ginger poll up top. His show is brilliant. Watch it.
8:23 I would just like everyone to know that E! said repeatedly during arrivals that Kat Dennings is not wearing hardly any makeup! She's so amazing. If that's their idea of "hardly wearing any makeup" what on earth would qualify as wearing a lot of it?
8:26 Best Supporting Actress Comedy Series goes to...Julie Bowen in Modern Family. This is a sign of a night of repeats which is why I can never remember the Emmys the next day. All the years bleed together.
8:33 Best Direction of a Comedy Series goes to... Steve Levitan Modern Family "Baby on Board"
I wouldn't be standing here without my faith in me."
Good line but ohmygod it's so boring that this show wins everything. Parks and Rec, Louie, Nurse Jackie, 30 Rock, etcetera. So much good comedy on TV. Wait why did Modern Family just get their own skit reel? Is that part of the winner's gift bag?
8:38 Best Actor in a Comedy Series goes to... Jon Cryer for Two and Half Men again. "I didn't actually win this. This did not just happen". If only, Jon, if only.
I'm trying to think of the Oscar equivalent of this win. Anyone?
Some suggestions from followers on Twitter (they keep coming in): The Zeéeee in Cold Mountain, She Who Must Not Be Named, Crash (lol!), Sally Field, Shakespeare in Love, Roberto Benigni, Cuba Gooding Jr, they keep coming in. I don't agree with all these but I love thinking about them in this context. For the record I prefer Shakespeare in Love to Saving Private Ryan. Shut it, I do!
8:45 Best Actress in a Comedy Series goes to... Julia Louis Dreyfuss in Veep. She really is excellent on that show but I was so pulling for Amy Poehler. Beautiful acceptance speech and HILARIOUS bookend with Amy Poehler jokes. Amy Poehler is the Greatest Loser of all time. If that little bit doesn't win her the prize next year.
8:52 Best Reality Competition Series... The Amazing Race again. The TV Academy could save *so* much money by filming the ceremony once every 3 years. Replay it each year with "added" footage.
It takes them so long to get out of ruts!
8:59 Best Reality Show Host - the guy from Dancing With the Stars. Seth MacFarlane has kind of a sexy voice. I was napping when he started talking. (Pneumonia + The Amazing Race = better than ambien). This is how I know.
9:02 Those Once Upon a Time clips were meant for the "Unintentional Comedy" montage later in the show. Oops, wrong clipreel.
9:06 Best Supporting Actor - Aaron Paul in Breaking Bad. Isn't he really a leading actor? I mean I've only seen a few episodes but it's pretty much a show about two guys and their fucked up relationship.
9:15 Best Writing in a Drama - Homeland "Pilot". Sorry Mad Men.
9:20 Best Supporting Actress in a Drama - Maggie Smith in "Downton Abbey". My god. Injustice! Maggie is hilarious but what does Christina Hendricks have to do to win an Emmy already? Criminal. For four years now I've just MARVELLED at what she can do even from the background of a scene, let alone when they give her delicious episode-center stuff like "The Other Woman".
9:24 Best Direction in a Drama Tim Van Patten for Boardwalk Empire. No show has bored me as much from afar*
9:26 Oh this is not in good taste. Making fun of the awards tradition In Memoriam with Jimmy Kimmel, the host, being memorialized.
9:27 Best Actor in a Drama Series - Damian Lewis for Homeland. Best Actress in a Drama Series - Claire Danes for Homeland. It's a matching set! Really terrific show but this means that Mad Men goes home completely empty-handed. bummer.
Claire Danes says "Mandy Patinkin - holla!" in her acceptance speech and though it's the only time I'll ever hear that sentence... seconded, Claire, seconded.
It's worth noting that Kathy Bates' Harry's Law clip was her saying "THIS IS WRONG THIS IS WRONG. WE HAVE TO FIX THIS" [twilight zone music] She's talking about the Emmys themselves. So meta! This awards show has turned on itself.
9:41 Oooh the "Year in Variety" started with Madonna at the Superbowl. My queen.
9:55 Sorry, I've totally lost interest. The guy directing the Emmys won an Emmy for directing the Tony's earlier this year. Such much back-patting and nobody even knows whose hands and whose backs they are! It's like that orgy sequence from Top Secret (1985).
9:56 Best Variety Series Goes to Daily Show. Again.
9:58 Oh the movie categories. Why did they save these for last? Shouldn't they have saved Drama for last?
10:07 Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries -- Jessica Lange for American Horror Story.I'm starting to admire the creativity Hollywood shucksters employ to come up with new ways to perform Category Fraud each year. They're REALLY good at justifying doing whatever the hell they wanna do!
10:08 How are they going to pull off that In Memoriam section after already making a gross joke about it? Uncool.
10:14 Best Supporting Actor in a Miniseries - Tom Berenger for Hatfield & McCoys. Is this Berenger's first award? Somewhere Anne Rice is smiling.
10:17 Ron Howard talking about playing Opie leading in to In Memoriam. Sadness.
10:26 Writing in a Miniseries or Movie - Danny Strong for Game Change. OMG. One of the Supervillians from Buffy. He's too short for the mic' awwwww.
10:30 Best Actress in a Miniseries or Movie - JULIANNE FUCKING MOORE for GAME CHANGE. It's about time. Get it girl. You never win anything and you deserve it all.
This is so validating because Sarah Palin gave me a big thumbs down."
Yes. They are NOT attempting to play God off the stage. They are NOT. Ugh, I hate the Emmys.
10:41 Kevin Costner adds an Emmy to his shelf (which already has Oscar and Globe) for Hatfield & McCoys. More Game Change wins too. I lost track of everything after Julianne.
I died.
10:48 Julianne Moore announces Best Drama Series Goes to... Homeland.
10:56 Final award of this very dull Mad Men free evening (sniffle) Best Comedy Series goes to... Modern Family.
GOOD NIGHT. I leave you with this tweet via God herself from her limo with hubby Bart Freundlich.
It was worth the trip!