Podcast mate and friend Joe Reid polled several critics (including myself) for an article at Tribeca Film detailing Woody Allen's recent output as the critical hit Blue Jasmine hits theaters. I won't be able to see the new entry in his filmography until Sunday since I'm in Chicago for the weekend and limited release films only believe in Los Angeles and New York for their coming out balls. But since I took the time to write Joe notes on each film for this collective list, I thought I'd share them. I regret to inform that in doing this I have just been reminded that my proud familiar refrain "I've never missed a Woody Allen movie in the theater since I saw my first one in 1984!" is not technically true anymore. This article forced me to recall that I did not see and still have not seen Cassandra's Dream (2007) ... though I can't honestly remember why. Have you?
Here's my ranking from worst to best of Mr Allen's recent work if you'd like to compare it to the consensus list at Tribeca. I've also included their Rotten Tomatoes percentage and box office gross just for survey perspective.
UNRANKED
Cassandra's Dream (2007) RT 46% BO $.9
TIER 5 - DISASTERS
12 The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
I used to call this Woody's nadir and found it nearly unwatchable with Helen Hunt being Woody's first (but not last) female lead who just couldn't sell his comic cadences. I suspect, since the quality of his films nose-dived after it, that maybe it's better than what followed but at the time I couldn't believe there could be such a "bad" Woody Allen picture. As such it was a shock to my system. The only thing that emerged unscathed was Charlize Theron.
RT 45 % BO $7.5
11 You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (2010)
Great title. Terrible, sexist film.
RT 45% BO $3.2
TIER 4 - NO, THANKS
10 Hollywood Ending (2002)
Fun concept, weirdly unfunny film
RT 47% BO $4.8
09 To Rome With Love (2011)
Like a shorts anthology where only one of the shorts is any good.
RT 43% BO $16.6
08 Whatever Works (2009)
Famously rescuscitated dusty old script. Damn you, spring cleaning! The only thing that emerged unscathed was Patricia Clarkson. If you're sensing a pattern here it's that Woody's films are generally Supporting Actress heavy.
RT 50% BO $5.3
TIER 3 - THEY HAVE THEIR MOMENTS
07 Anything Else (2003)
Woody tries to go young to strange effect, but at least he wrote himself an atypical and funny character. Though this was disappointing I do still remember Christina Ricci delivering a few good zingers
RT 40% BO $3.2
06 Melinda & Melinda (2004)
Genius concept, shoddy confused execution. If you're sensing a pattern here it's that Woody can usually still come up with fine idea or clever outline but after that there's no telling what he'll do with it. Does he get bored during the process somewhere? With Radha Mitchell who was never meant to be a Woody Allen Muse.
RT 53% BO $3.8
05 Scoop (2006)
Instantly disposable but fun.
RT 39% $10.5
TIER 2 - GOOD FILMS
04 Small Time Crooks (2000)
Woody started the millenium off strong with this silly caper. Elaine May was memorable and I love Tracey Ullman's vocabulary lesson... "I was really quite agog."
RT 67% BO $17.2
03 Midnight in Paris (2011)
If it weren't for the WASPy walking stereotypes in the modern section of the film (god Rachel Adams is terrible in that film!) it'd be as great as it got credit for being. Still, Woody's first Best Picture nominee since Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) is a keeper. It nearly made my top ten list in its year.
RT 93% BO $56.8
TIER 1 - TRUE GEMS (these two regularly switch places)
02 Vicky Christina Barcelona (2008)
Beautifully risque and melancholy and moody and blessed with four wonderfully engaged and even sexy (yes in a Woody Allen!) performances. I wish it were "gee-nee-us" but it's close enough.
RT 82% BO $23.2
01 Match Point (2005)
So complicated, risky, and clever -- so far above what he's been turning out this new century that you wonder if it's one of his only recent scripts that he turned in several drafts on. What's more it's definitely his best directed movie in the 21st century.
RT 77% BO $23.1