Meet the Hateful Eight
Wednesday, November 12, 2014 at 10:00PM
Tim Brayton in Quentin Tarantino, The Hateful Eight

Tim here. For a director who doesn’t even have a movie in this year’s Oscar crop, this has been quite a full few days for Quentin Tarantino. First, the full cast of his upcoming Western (which hasn’t even started shooting yet), The Hateful Eight, was confirmed, and then he re-committed on Monday to his longstanding if vague plans to retire after his tenth film is completed (Hateful Eight will be his eighth... oh, I just got that). Calling film a “young man’s game”, Tarantino, who at 51 is less than half the age of currently active Portuguese director Manoel de Olivera, talked about wanting to leave them wanting more, and not wanting to lose his touch, and generally coming off like his own biggest fan in a way that’s kind of horribly off-putting. But what the hell, I’m looking forward to his next film, the last gasp of 70mm and extravagant widescreen as anybody.

So anyway, let’s celebrate Quentin’s ego with the following list of the Hateful Eight themselves, and a bonus guest star, ranked by Total Hatefulness. A totally subjective quality I came up with by combining the most hateful character the actor has ever played, along with the angriest photo of them I could find in a Google image search.

LEAST HATEFUL

1. Channing Tatum as “Character Whose Name Hasn’t Been Revealed Yet, and Isn’t One of the Core Eight”.
Most Hateful Role: “Pretty Boy Floyd”, Public Enemies (2009)

When the only even slightly bad guy you’ve ever played is barely a cameo, and when I couldn’t find a picture of you actually looking mad even when I searched “Channing Tatum very angry”, you’re clearly not in it for the hateful long term. But I guess that’s why he’s out the outside of the group. Hatefulness (of 10): 0.5

The Hateful Eight themselves after the jump

2. Kurt Russell as “John Ruth, The Hangman”
Most Hateful Role
: “Stuntman Mike”, Death Proof (2007)

Getting your start as the face of Teenage Disney isn’t going to boost anyone’s hatefulness credentials, though unlike Tatum, at least he’s played outright villains. Hatefulness: 1.2

3. Demian Bichir as “Bob, The Mexican”
Most Hateful Role: “Mendez”, Machete Kills (2013)

He still hasn’t done too much that English-speaking audiences can appreciate, and the role that made by far the biggest splash, A Better Life, is the polar opposite of hateful. And he looks much, much too happy in pictures. But a strong actor, and I have no doubt that he’ll be up to whatever Tarantino throws his way. Hatefulness: 2.0

4. Bruce Dern as “Gen. Sandy Smithers, The Confederate”
Most Hateful Role: “Long Hair”, The Cowboys (1972)

Being the only man to ever kill John Wayne in a movie gives him plenty of hatefulness points, especially in a Western. That said, his characters tend to be stubborn, distant, or thoughtless, but rarely ever actually hateful, per se. Hatefulness: 4.6

5. Jennifer Jason Leigh as “Daisy Domergue, The Prisoner”
Most Hateful Role: “Hedra Carlson”, Single White Female (1992)

An actress who looks secretive and calculating more often than not, it’s surprising she hasn’t played more cruel, dangerous characters. When she does it, though, it’s terrific, and her nerve-inducing presence ought to be a wonderful fit with Tarantino’s love of tension and violence. But boy, does she not ever let herself be photographed looking hateful. Hatefulness: 5.7

6. Samuel L. Jackson as “Maj. Marquis Warren, The Bounty Hunter”
Most Hateful Role: So many to choose from! But I’m going with “The Octopus” from The Spirit (2008), both because he’s a Nazi symphathizer, and because The Spirit is the absolute worst damn movie.

Having appeared in five of Tarantino’s seven films to date, the actor is a Hall of Fame badass in good standing, though one that we tend to find more cool and awesome than hateful, even when he’s playing a villain. Hatefulness: 6.1

7. Michael Madsen as “John Gage, The Cow Puncher”
Most Hateful Role: “Mr. Blonde”, Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Too prolific to pin down, but the thing he does best is the big, smiling bear of a guy who’ll take the first chance he gets to stab you between the shoulder blades. Now, this kind of psychopathy is arguably too happy to be “hateful”, but certainly, it is not full of love. Hatefulness: 7.8

8. Walton Goggins as “Chris Mannix, The Sheriff”
Most Hateful Role: “Wallace”, Shanghai Noon (2000)

Always an alarmingly tense presence in his many small That Guy roles, Goggins hasn’t had much exposure in film (he’s a major player on TV’s Justified). But when he does, he’s reliably explosive and angry, and he has by far the best assortment of nerve-wracking angry faces on Google. Hatefulness: 8.6

9. Tim Roth as “Oswaldo Mobray, The Little Man”
Most Hateful Role: “George Wallace”, Selma (2014) – sight unseen, but I’m guessing

A great hand at coiled-up psychos, hitmen, and decent fellas prone to violent explosions, Roth has proven his ability to wield a gun and Tarantino dialogue multiple times. Hatefulness: 9.2

MOST VIOLENT

How would you rank the Hateful Eight + Channing? And what are your thoughts on Tarantino's impending "retirement"?

Article originally appeared on The Film Experience (http://thefilmexperience.net/).
See website for complete article licensing information.