After brief consideration of an annotated poster, The Film Experience's official position is that we actually don't know enough about the new Star Wars (by choice!) nor do we want to do the research so as to insure some sense of discovery in the the movie theater. Most of you weren't born yet but I saw Empire Strikes Back in the theater and I cannot tell you the seismic jolt that shook the sold out theater during the "Luke, I am your father" business. Filmmakers and even marketers used to understand the power of a good surprise in a crowded room.
Nevertheless one can't help but look! Surely you agree. After the jump, thoughts I had (uncensored as they arrived...)
Click to look at this big-like
• Well, it's no Drew Struizan, you know? BTW his book on poster art is amazing if you care about such things.
• Do young movie fans care about posters or has the dying art (since most posters are just bad photoshop these days) and dying physical anything killed the memorabilia fanaticism surrounding such artifacts?
• The best Star Wars movie will always be Empire Strikes Back but the best Star Wars poster will always be this teaser before a title-change and/or this beauty with such a simple elegant swerve from Darth to Leia in gold bikini. Gold bikinis from a long time ago in galaxies far far away will never go out of style
• Where is Luke Skywalker on this poster?
• That looks like a Death Star (with spikes) in the background. Zzzzzz. Marvel movies have absolutely killed the trope of destroy behemoth objects floating in the sky/outerspace in order to win the game level triumph over evil. And we've already had 'Destroy the Death Star' as major objective in more than one Star Wars film
• Where is Lupita Nyong'o? Never mind. It's going to be such a waste to hear her but not see her since she'll be covered up in CGI. Have we ever seen Hollywood sleep so soundly (without dreaming up projects for) through the emergence of a fresh beautiful young popular star before? I don't think we have. Ever.
• That Darth dude with the T-shaped lightsaber - it's very very cool, literalizing the "sword-like" aspects of the lightsabers... but it seems impractical. Think of swordsmen trying to fight with blades if their hilts were also blades. Ouchy.
• Shouldn't lightsaber technology have advanced to new colors by now? Fuschia, Silver, Pea-Soup... Rainbow
• mmmmmm queer Jedi. Imagine how fierce Cheyenne Jackson or Matt Bomer would look with a lightsaber.
• Have you seen Attack the Block yet? John Boyega was good in that but Star Wars films have been known to remove acting ability (>cough< NataliePortman) which is an underdiscussed danger of the Force's Dark Side. NO ONE IS SAFE.
• Imagine trying to open against this movie during the holidays. Good luck everything else*
• NOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo The Dark Side won.
*That'd be: Sisters, Son of Saul, Alvin and the Chipmunks, 45 Years, Point Break, Daddy's Home, Concussion, Hateful Eight, The Revenant, Joy, Anomalisa, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2, Underdogs, About Ray, and Jane Got a Gun.