When the red band trailer for the revival (not a reboot but a long distant "next generation" sequel) of Vacation premiered yesterday, with Chris Hemsworth swinging a big fake one around for a cheap laugh, it got me to thinking about how phallic-centric Hollywood has become. This is no new thinkpiece notion of course. But with the incredible amount of material from the 1980s that Hollywood has been mining and regurgitating, we're getting about the sharpest resolution picture possible of how Hollywood has regressed in terms of equal opportunities for female stars. Hollywood has always had its share of sexism but today's Hollywood seems especially female-averse. How did it happen exactly? Hollywood will reboot ANYTHING from the 1980s. So long as it did not star a woman. No, not even if it was a smash hit. They won't do it... although they will allow those titles to be remade for television if you're really desperate to see them revamped.
To prove the point here are a list of the most successful 1980s movies starring women. I only looked at the top 25 or so box office hits from each year of the 1980s. To give you a contemporary correlative of their success that's like from the tippity top American Sniper sized behemoth down to the Lucy-sized hit levels last year if you pretend that each year is roughly the same as the last in terms of gross domestic box office.
Disclaimer: This list should in no way be mistaken as a plea to remake these pictures -- we have more than enough remakes. We need original material! It's just to make a point.
40 BIGGEST HITS LED BY WOMEN IN THE 80S
(in very rough order of success)
GINORMOUS BLOCKBUSTERS
These films went toe-to-toe with pop culture male-centric behemoths which have already been remade or sequelized or what not for the big screen like Superman II, Arthur, The Karate Kid series, and the Rocky sequels
- Fatal Attraction (1987)
- An Officer and a Gentleman (1982)
- On Golden Pond (1981)
- 9 to 5 (1980)
- Terms of Endearment (1983)
HUGE HITS
These film were all more or as successful as Footloose, Poltergeist, and Beetlejuice which have already been remade, rebooted, or sequelized or are about to be.
If you wanted big box office, it helped to have Kathleen Turner in your movies
- Driving Miss Daisy (1989)
- The Color Purple (1985)
- When Harry Met Sally (1989)
- Flashdance (1983)
- Out of Africa (1984)
- The War of the Roses (1989)
- Aliens (1986) -- an exception to the rule? as there are currently plans to bring Sigourney Weaver back to the role one last time. We'll see if it happens.
- Romancing the Stone & Jewel of the Nile (1984-1986) - this one is perhaps the most mystifying since boys love this franchise and they like to cater to boys in Hollywood
- Steel Magnolias (1989)
- Moonstruck (1987)
BIG HITS
These films were all roughly as or more successful in their initial runs than male-centric films that have already been remade or sequelized like Clash of the Titans and the Vacation series.
- Private Benjamin (1980)
- Coal Miner's Daughter (1980)
- Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982)
- Splash (1984)
- Annie (1982) - one of only three to be remade - it was a hit again
- Working Girl (1988)
- The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
- Beaches (1988)
- Bull Durham (1988)
SOLID HITS
This last crop were not quite major hits but they were success stories. But consider the list of male led films in the same boat, all of which were just barely this successful or less successful but have already been remade or sequelized: the Mad Max series, Tron, Red Dawn, Fright Night, Wall Street, The Thing and Arnold Schwarzenneger's last outing as Conan... and soon Bladerunner if Denis Villeneuve makes good on his plans. Proving once again that if you want to have a second chance at film glory in the 21st century, bring your own penis!
- Outrageous Fortune (1987)
- Broadcast News (1987)
- Yentl (1983)
- Absence of Malice (1981)
- Legal Eagles (1986)
- Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
- Little Darlings (1980)
- Pretty in Pink (1986)
- About Last Night (1986) -- recently remade - a modest hit again.
- Endless Love (1981) - the only other one. It flopped this time
- Best Friends (1982)
- Big Business (1988)
- Silkwood (1983)
- Places in the Heart (1984)
- Sophie's Choice (1982)
- Victor / Victoria (1982)
What do you think happened to make Hollywood so girl averse? Why are the executives now in charge who grew up in the 70s and 80s (when females stars had plenty of hits) so non-nostalgic for women's pictures even though they're nostalgic for literally everything else -- including long forgotten franchises like The Lone Ranger and Mr Peabody and Sherman.
I have one theory looking over this list and it's the loss of the star vehicle. A lot of these pictures seem tailor made to sell the unique appeal of their particular stars... making remakes less savory to think of. That's especially true of the musicals (Whorehouse & Victor/Victoria without those particular stars? Unthinkable!) when that genre was dying out. The 1980s were kind to Kathleen Turner, Bette Midler, Sally Field, Goldie Hawn, Dolly Parton, Sarandon, Cher, Tomlin, Fonda, Streep, etcetera who each have multiple smashes on this list.
If you were an executive asked to find a property for revival from the 80s, which of these 40 films would you choose?
P.S. Related: My Top Ten of the 1980s