Beauty vs Beast: Heroes Divided
Monday, April 4, 2016 at 12:30PM Jason from MNPP here, using this week's "Beauty vs Beast" to enthusiastically fire the starting pistol on this year's Civil War. No, not the Republicans vs the Democrats, they're still too busy with in-fighting for that Battle Royale just yet; I speak of the competition that many many Americans care about (don't judge me for pointing that out, I am simply the messenger) - Superhero vs Superhero. And since we're already attempting to forget that Batman V Superman happened, we're swiveling to the next big cage match, Marvel style - Captain America: Civil War, which is out in about a month, and which faces off several beloved characters but first and foremost Cappy himself and his co-Avenger Tony Stark aka Iron Man.
I figure in about a month when the movie's actually coming out we'll all be sick of it already (that's the way these things work now) and so when I saw that today is Robert Downey Jr.'s birthday I knew - the time is now. And it's not like with three Iron Mans, two Captain Americas, and two Avengers movies we don't already know enough going in to this battle to choose our sides. Have at it!
PREVIOUSLY We made like Mia Farrow last week and considered our Hannah and Her Sisters co-stars, and over 70% decided that the Oscars were on point, giving our golden love to Dianne Wiest. Said mareko:
"Weist really is amazing in Hannah and Her Sisters. I didn't care for her character Holly *at all* in the beginning, but man does she have an impressive, if somewhat unbelievable, character arc. To go from bitter and cynical to warm and luminous, without losing her way (or ours), is to be applauded. A true breakout performance. (Hershey is good, too, if a bit histrionic for my taste.)"
Reader Comments (17)
Cap all the way. I can not abide Tony Stark. I hope he dies in this movie.
If this was versus Thor or Black Widow, I might have to think for a second, but RDJ as Iron Man is the lesser of Chris Evans' Captain America in literally every way.
Not surprised to see Dianne Weist take last week's poll but all three women are so good in the film it seems a shame to have to choose.
Chris Evans' Captain America all the way! Not much of a fan of Iron Man and I can not abide the self importance jackass that RDJ has become over the years.
Abstain.
On the Iron Man cons list it should say: "has been phoning it in."
There's pretty much no way Captain America doesn't win this in a landslide, right?
It would appear so, Kieran! I'm actually a little surprised - I personally can't stand RDJ but I thought he had a pretty solid fan-base that would come out for him. I guess Chris Evans is just TOO MUCH (of everything) to deny.
Sawyer -- maybe they'll kill each other in a gay suicide pact or something? isn't this the last solo film for captain america (and wasn't iron man 3 the last solo film for RDJ?
Let's break it down:
On one side:
Earnest, sweet-natured, virtuous character + amazing origin story epic WWII movie + thrilling espionage movie sequel with Scarlett Johansson's best outing as Black Widow + been frozen away for decades but still gets Wizard of Oz references + Chris Evans' heaving chiselled chest + Chris Evans' ass in sweatpants + extra bonus points for Sebastian Stan.
On the other side:
Snarky smug prick; unremarkable origin story movie; terrible sequel featuring Scarlett Johansson's worst turn as the Black Widow; no Friend of Dorothy puns; saggy bags under the eyes; saggy 50yo butt; minus points for making us suffer through Gwyneth Paltrow in 3 movies and a cameo.
Q.E.D.
Team Cap all the way.
Granted the 2 Captain America films are probably among the best of Marvel movies. But people tend to forget Iron-Man started it all. A movie no one thinks will be a success and all of that is due to RDJ! I am Team Iron-Man all the way. Captain American, as much as I do love him, is boring.
Carmen -- except Gwyneth Paltrow is great in those Iron Man movies. best thing about them sometimes.
I'm not a RDJ fan but what's with the ageism ("saggy 50 yo butt")?
Anyway -- Captain America
Okay, after all this I just went from Abstain to Team Iron Man, without whom no MCU in the first place. And RDJr, for all his whatever, is still one of the best actors of his generation and the ones following it. And still hot.
Captain America!
@ Nat - Jarvis is always the best thing about the Iron Man movies.
@ Mike - I can't help it with the ageism. I hate all beings over 25. I even adjust it to dog years. When they turn 4, I just take them to the barn and shoot them, Old Yeller style. I even shot myself in the head when I turned 25. I have to wait for Winona Ryder to say "Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!", so I can come back from dead and post at the TFE. I would have suggested throwing Iron-Man off the cliff, but his sorry saggy ass can fly.
Or, you know, we can stop pretending that any joke or silly thing typed on the internet is indicative of some underlying nefarious -ism.
Cap all the way! I can't stand Iron Man.
On other note, I need more Gwyneth on The Avengers movies.
Glad I'm not the only one who finds RDJ absolutely insufferable. He likes himself far, far too much.