In lieu of a full review for Luca Guadagnino's I Am Love follow up A Bigger Splash -- who can type with one hand -- a hot and bothered top ten list.
THE SEXIEST THINGS IN "A BIGGER SPLASH"
10. Reflective Sunglasses.
The great cinematographer Yorick Le Saux (look up his filmography. Seriously) makes full use of the reflections in everyone's glasses. We're staring at them, but what are they staring at in this voyeuristic vacation?
09. Tilda Whispering to Matthias
As the movie begins world famous rockstar Marianne Lane (Tilda Swinton) is on vocal rest, doctor's orders. Her visiting friend/ex lover Harry (Ralph Fiennes) and a daughter he didn't know he had until recently (Dakota Johnson) arrive in town unexpectedly and they're told she can't speak. It's not strictly true. Marianne reserves her whispering, which she's allowed, for her younger filmmaker boyfriend Paul (Matthias Schoenaerts). Secretive conspiratorial intimacy is a panty-dropper.
08. Karaoke.
If you don't find Karaoke sexy -- it is rather goofy, yes -- just know that anything these four get up to would turn libidinous somehow. If they went to an insurance sales convention, it'd feel like an orgy. The fallout from this scene -- is Harry way too handsy with his beautiful daughter? -- is a whole bonus drama with gripping dramatic payoff.
07. Choosing Tilda's Dress.
In one scene early in the movie, Paul opts not to go into town with the others and Marianne asks him to choose a dress for her. She worries it's too plain but he's really just claiming her with the choice, and with his mouth as he drops to his knees.
06. Gleeful Skinny Dipping
Remember when Red Dragon came out and there was all that scuttlebutt about how Ralph Fiennes penis had to be cut out of the movie because test audiences found it too distracting? Stupid test audiences. Harry doesn't care. He is the let it all hang out kind of guy. In fact, if he knows his skinny dipping makes you uncomfortable he'd probably just do more of it.
05. Dakota on the Rocks.
..and that isn't meant in a boozy way, though she's intoxicatingly shady as the bored stranger of sorts with this intimate trio. She spends more time being seductive poolside, in water, or in one memorable scene on the rocks beside a cove, than anyone in a movie since... Ludivine Sagnier in Swimming Pool?
04. The Fashion
Oh this old thing? I'm just going out too pick up some groceries.
04. That scene in the alleyway
I can't even talk about this amazing half-conversation between Harry and Marianne. Especially Tilda's half-lidded gaze directly into camera.
Franchise Request: The Tildaverse. Can Luca and Tilda just make a movie together every year for blockbuster season, ideal adult counterprogramming, about the struggles of great sex, life choices, and being too fabulous for this world in picturesque locals?
03. The Hand-Holding.
There's so much of it. Especially between Matthias & Tilda who can't seem to keep their hands off of each other.
02. The Nude Sunbathing Opening Scenes.
The first few quiet moments of the movie find Matthias & Tilda, enjoying each other's fleshy company in mud baths, pools, and/or sunbathing. They're so blissfully comfortable in each other's general proximity or right up close. It's an ideal way to kick off this suspenseful drama about three sexy people who are all way too familiar with each other, and another sexy less familiar bomb just waiting to go off.
01. The Editing.
Of the film's many visual pleasures, the greatest may well be its editing, which darts around hornily or fearfully or lingers on blissed out whims or memories. The editor Walter Falsano (who also shaped I Am Love) cuts so gorgeously to suggest interconnectivity of characters by highlighting gestures, looks, movement, and touching that he adds a whole new layer of intimacy to an already tactile picture.