Six Alternate Cinematic Realities More Desirable Than Trump's America
Thursday, May 5, 2016 at 12:10PM Daniel Crooke here. Just in time for the newest season of Game of Thrones, Sen. Ted Cruz and Gov. John Kasich’s presidential aspirations are officially, swiftly deceased – leaving the door open for a brave new world even more horrific than some of the worst doomsday scenarios we’ve seen on the big screen. Now that Donald Trump has ostensibly become the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, science fiction has officially become reality. When you consider the inherent havoc in a candidate who makes light of civilian casualties, discards women, ensures bigotry and violence, and endorses straight-up rights snatching – not to mention his microscopic, ahem, vocabulary – many cinematic dystopias and alternate realities once thought to be cataclysmically dreadful begin to sound imminently habitable if he were to actually be elected. Next to the fascist plunder-land of Trump’s America, living in these broken worlds would be downright nirvana.
Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
If a clown is going to be elected president, let’s make sure it’s Peter Sellers.
The Duke of Burgundy
Whether BDSM knocks your boots, a world full of lesbians is bound to involve less literal dick-measuring than this one.
Mad Max Fury Road
We’re already well on our way to oppressive weather patterns – from vicious sandstorms to severe drought – and the faux-chismo of Immortan Joe will already inhabit the Oval Office, so let’s wait it out in the desert until Furiosa starts her noble reign and maybe get to know a member of the Vuvalini along the way. Note: null and void if Hillary wins – we’ll have our own shiny, chrome leader and mediocre Trump will go the way of the People Eater.
Battlefield Earth
Better hair.
Children of Men
Trust me. Despite the governmental meddling, guerilla warfare, and international class struggles, living in a world with no children is much more hopeful than passing on Trump’s to the next generation. Plus stoned Michael Caine is exactly the kind of deadbeat loosuh we should keep around.
Planet of the Apes
Fictional tyrannical orangutan > real tyrannical orangutan.
Which otherworldly filmic universe would you rather inhabit than a planet of Trump?
Reader Comments (12)
The Running Man (Schwarzenegger).
The Ending of The World's End.
Well, if people really vote for him.....
*shudder*
Scary times. I'm waiting for it to be revealed as a prank for the new season of The Apprentice.
The chaos that ensued for like thirty seconds when Glory used Dawn's blood to open the portals to every hell dimension on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".
Hard to be a God
Soylent Green
"Soylent Green is Trump!"
Of all the candidates who had enough support to get into the debates, somehow the two most horrific (Trump and Hillary fucking Clinton ended up the nominees). We are screwed America. We are screwed. Might as well just toss a coin to decide who to vote for. No good choices here.
After Earth.
Stolen from a meme I saw:
Nov 2015 - No way Trump will win
Nov 2016 - Oh my god Trump won
Nov 2017 - I hope my district wins the Hunger Games.
So I'll take... Panem!
I'll go with Running Man as well.
I'd say Idiocracy but it wouldn't be better or worse. It is pretty much exactly what I think a Trump Presidency will be.