It's that time again. But before we get to the tweets of the week, let's all be reminded that Lifetime will be remaking the movie Beaches. I keep forgetting this because why would anyone do this? And yet I love this casting pair idea...
Ariana Grande softly purrs "yaaas" at the suggestion that Kristin Chenoweth star w/ Idina Menzel in new #Beaches.
— Kevin Fallon (@kpfallon) August 3, 2016
Ariana Grande is us all.
Many more tweets to come after the jump with the new superhero movie and the actual superheroes of the Olympics as the main events...
i get this has been a lousy year for summer blockbusters but i wholly reject "2016 is a bad year for film" narrative pic.twitter.com/CNdpUUFzKU
— Josh Oakley (@WineAndPop) August 5, 2016
TFW people think "auterism" is pronounced "otterism". pic.twitter.com/ybwMLjKwYA
— Alex Heeney (@bwestcineaste) August 4, 2016
Orlando Bloom has bigger hands than Donald Trump.
— David Kuhne (@D_Khunne) August 4, 2016
The demigorgon. It got me. It cut my hair too.😏😜😋 pic.twitter.com/3250JNvcgd
— David Harbour (@DavidKHarbour) August 3, 2016
I've never seen an Isabelle Huppert 'Best Performances' list and I think I've found my calling. Editors: who wants to publish?!
— John Oursler (@JMOursler) August 2, 2016
I don't have a lot of sexual hangups, but I definitely can't sleep with you if you spell "whoa" with the H at the end.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) July 15, 2016
OLYMPIC FEVER
I like the Olympics because they combine things I don't understand with making me feel bad about my body.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 6, 2016
I thought the climate change segment of #OpeningCeremony was about my body temp rising when I realized Fernanda Montenegro was narrating 😱😍
— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) August 6, 2016
Tonga or Magic Mike 3, you decide. pic.twitter.com/4qVDBAVSB5
— Mark (@MarkMizzouSteel) August 6, 2016
Moving to Tonga. Their national dress is a six pack covered in baby oil. #OpeningCeremony
— David Morgan (@thisisdavid) August 6, 2016
@nathanielr I hoped they filmed it in 3d
— Clinton Neill (@cbneill) August 6, 2016
Tape-delay bitching aside, YAY PARADE OF NATIONS! Hooray for hot athletes in a variety of blazers! #Rio2016 #OpeningCeremony
— Heather & Jessica (@fuggirls) August 6, 2016
How Brazil was that opening ceremony? "Let's examine our national traumas as frankly as possible, but make it really hot, too."
— Matt Zoller Seitz (@mattzollerseitz) August 6, 2016
The #OpeningCeremony feels like Julie Taymor directed it but quit because not enough people were getting injured.
— Chris Schleicher (@cschleichsrun) August 6, 2016
Waiting for the Fernanda Montenegro & Sonia Braga tributes. We're doing 'Brazil's Greatest Exports' yes?' #OpeningCeremony
— Nathaniel Rogers (@nathanielr) August 6, 2016
THE BIG MOVIE OF THE MOMENT
Suicide Squad is expected to open with huge numbers. But will the numbers hold or collapse like Batman v Superman?
I wish I loved anything as much as people who haven't seen Suicide Squad yet love Suicide Squad
— Chris Evangelista (@cevangelista413) August 2, 2016
My skills include "walking wide-eyed into my own undoing" which explains both my personal relationships and why I'm seeing Suicide Squad
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) August 2, 2016
Pretty sure SUICIDE SQUAD was expressly created to gay-bash BATMAN AND ROBIN in a high-school hallway
— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) August 2, 2016
A gay man’s guide to SUICIDE SQUAD: I can’t believe Warner Bros spent $150 million on a feature-length adaptation of the phrase “no homo”
— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) August 2, 2016
There's another scene in SUICIDE SQUAD where one of the squad members punches a woman, and says as justification, "She had a mouth"
— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) August 2, 2016
Sex is like the Suicide Squad, you think it's going to be all edgy and different but it's just JARED LETO. ALL MEN ARE JARED LETO.
— Natasha VC (@natashavc) August 2, 2016
I'd fuck Jared Leto but ask him not to tell anyone.
— Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) August 5, 2016
THIS IS AMAZING pic.twitter.com/NSTJewAGTh
— Steve Zaragoza (@stevezaragoza) August 4, 2016
if you see suicide squad be sure to stay after the credits. lots of people leave half empty containers of popcorn and you can just have them
— rob whisman (@robwhisman) August 5, 2016
Oh no! A movie critic didn't like a movie you care about. What do you do? Don't worry, I put together a handy guide. pic.twitter.com/iIatsbrk30
— Alexander Huls (@alxhuls) October 10, 2014
POLITICS
BECAUSE THE TOPIC IS QUITE UNAVOIDABLE FOR THE NEXT 90+ DAYS...
Paul Ryan just saw Suicide Squad, was disgusted by it, says its values are not his values. urges everyone to see it this weekend.
— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) August 2, 2016
If you want a preview of how Trump will implode, watch the movie A FACE IN THE CROWD, directed by Kazan and starring a scary Andy Griffith.
— Harold Itzkowitz (@HaroldItz) August 2, 2016
And the winner of the caption competition is... pic.twitter.com/z0zWRlCqBF
— Steve Burns (@TheSteveBurnio) August 2, 2016
Orlando Bloom has bigger hands than Donald Trump.
— David Kuhne (@D_Khunne) August 4, 2016
Clinton fundraiser at #hamilton ? Or the world's craziest double date? @themikedoyle @Lin_Manuel @HillaryClinton pic.twitter.com/BswnP5hfhC
— Andrew Rannells (@AndrewRannells) August 3, 2016
God damn, Hillary makes me proud to identify as a Miranda.
— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) July 29, 2016
P.S.
Have I ever told you that I love Chris Crocker? I totally do.
People who argue over Hillary pic.twitter.com/Lu0rwkSe1v
— Chris Crocker (@ChrisCrocker) July 27, 2016