By Nathaniel R
Outside of talent-based competitions like Project Runway and RuPaul's Drag Race, I rarely watch reality television. Sure, I've seen an episode here and there of some of the big ones (mostly due to Emmy races or being around friends who were watching them) but I've never seen an episode of anything from the Housewives subgenre or Kardashians anything and never will. I've also never seen an episode of The Bachelor or Bachelorette.
This avoidance is less about artistic judgement than a lifelong aversion to famous people who are famous for no good reason. Celebrity that comes from talent or a contribution to society is easy to respect even if you don't personally admire that particular celebrity. Nevertheless after becoming obsessed with UNReal last season (have you finished S2?) its brilliant acting, disturbing psychology, and its evisceration of The Bachelor I suddenly had all these curiousities about this particular subgenre.
Enter Finding Prince Charming on Logo which bills itself as the 'first' all gay dating show and is basically The Bachelor with old school Shakespearean casting; men play all the roles...
the original shortlived gay dating show "Boy Meets Boy" (2003)
At first I was like "no, this show wasn't first. There was that show years ago called 'Boy Meets Boy'. Only then I remembered the horrified in-show reaction to that show's twist when it was revealed that some of the contestants were straight and faking it...
That's bullshit, James!
One night recently while bone tired I watched the first two episodes of Finding Prince Charming. It was exactly the garbage fire of gay humanity that I feared and expected (just as straight dating shows, I assume, make the notions of human beings and hanging out with them or *gasp* being in love with them an entirely vomitous proposition). These shows are straight up emotional pornography -- as if true love can be neatly packaged and bloom within brief "themed" dates with cameras and microphones poking about. I was especially offended by the storyline about the man whose fiance had died. As if something that private should be exploited for cameras and as if some random team of producers and showrunners out to make a buck can hand-pick a life partner replacement for you. The message: people are totally interchangeable.
My point is I hated EVERYONE on the show. Everyone but whatshisname, the super flaming guy who is clearly there just to rattle the fragile masculinity of all the muscle boys by calling them "Mary". I respect boys who embrace queerness and mock "masc4masc" silliness, what can I say? Is that its own dumb queer minstrel stereotype? Absolutely! But you have to find something to enjoy to keep the razor from your wrists in these situations.
Who would like to humiliate themselves on TV?
I'm not going to keep watching but I think I will keep reading about it, the rubber-necking a car crash impulse but with less commitment. I laughed quite a bit reading Towleroad's recap of the third episode, especially this part when the dimbulb protagonist (who is anything but Charming -- charm requires having an actual personality. Every single other man on the show has more of a personality, for better and worse) 'Prince Charming' takes a date to a horse stable.
Robert asks Justin what he would name his horse and Justin says, no lie, “Black Beauty.” But! Then! Justin asks Robert what he would name his horse, and Robert says BLACK BEAUTY AS WELL. I would’ve given anything for a stampede, honestly.