by Chris Feil
It’s here, children! We’ve finally arrived at the premiere of season nine of RuPaul’s Drag Race! Not that we should complain about waiting considering we got a bonus All Stars season last fall, but when you’re talking the most joyous show on television enough is never enough.
So it doesn’t please me to say that this season premiere left me begging for more in the worst kind of way. While the episode starts out with the usual high energy and first day of school nerves as we meet every queen entering the workroom, we don’t get much of the queens beyond this introduction. The energy flatlines right around the second commercial break when much hyped presence of guest judge Lady Gaga establishes the challenge: a non-elimination Miss Charisma Uniqueness Nerve & Talent Pageant, each queen presenting a look representing their home city and a Gaga recreation.
Now don’t get me wrong: the time we spend with the queens promises a stellar cast of vastly different drag styles and points of view. With the effervescence of Peppermint, the arty edge of Sasha Velour, the goofiness of Charlie Hides, the showgirl sex of Alexis Michelle, this season’s girls are less “something for everybody” and more “how can I choose a favorite”. But I wonder if Shea Couleé could have a leg up by having a foot in the most puddles, so to speak.
Best Entrance Look - Valentina. All this polish and poise and she’s only been doing drag for ten months?! I mean, come on. (Though I can’t decide if her right-angle positivity is charming or grating yet.)
While I hate when new queens are reductively compared to previous contestants, something about this cast assemblage as a whole reminds me of the more organically picked casts of the earliest seasons. This ensemble feels less manufactured, less categories ticked off a checklist. And thank God these queens aren’t too afraid of the ire of the internet and the editing to be a little shady, like recent seasons have shown. Seriously, who wants their drag queens to just play it sweet?
Early Drama Alert - At least one major rivalry story line is always foretold in every first workroom, and this season is definitely going to be Trinity Taylor vs. Eureka O’Hara. With her relentless humor, it’s likely Eureka we’ll be rooting for instead of Trinity. It doesn’t help that Trinity is already laying the “I’m not mean” line while being mostly caustic in confessionals.
The challenge represents how this episode is kind of at odds with itself, strangely. It wants to serve the queens, but also can’t help making it all about the megastar performer. It’s kind of a shame, because it turns out Gaga might be the show’s most thoughtful and invested guest judge ever - she’s even openly moved at several points, and remains humble. It’s more the producer’s fault than her own considering [Joslyn Fox gasp] she even upstages Mother Ru. When was the last episode you couldn’t remember anything Michelle Visage said?
The rhythms of critique on the runway are strangely lethargic and longwinded. The judges not only offer their puns and observations as usual over each look but then do a full breakdown of each queen’s performance. Add in the queens’ mini-monologue for their hometown look and the whole segment becomes really sluggish. Not giving a top and bottom 3 critique also removes a huge dramatic and emotional element from the proceedings.
The looks however are largely successful. The Vegas girls Farrah Moan and Kimora Blac are the least distinct for their city (Vegas = feathers and other stuff, apparently) despite being gorgeous, and Sasha Velour gets points for being the least literal of the many New York queens.
Best City Look - Shea Couleé’s Chicago Hot Dog, or as Ru put it: Shebrew National. (though extra points to Trinity Taylor for her Orlando airbrush theme park tacky delight. Even if the back looked like, umm... a butthole.)
Those Gaga looks, however. Now while this wasn’t a repeat of season 8’s Madonna kimono runway disappointment, but for some it was pretty damn close. Lady Gaga offers, if not as many iconic instantly recognizable looks as Madonna, plenty of looks the average person on the street can recall. Sorry queens, but her Golden Globes black dress, American Horror Story, or a blue bob Do Not Cut It. We’re talking about an entertainer who wore a meat dress and put a Pepsi can in her hair. You don’t have to think long to dig deeper.
Best Gaga Look - Nina Bo’nina Brown’s Alexander McQueen lace at the VMA’s. Not only is this a distinct Gaga fashion moment, but Nina revealed her point of view at the same time by giving it a twist.
You didn’t really think I wouldn’t pay some due to Miss Nina Bo’nina Banana Fofana Osama Bin Laden Brown, did you? I’m partly saving mentioning this queen for last, because I have fallen and I have fallen hard. With her Atlanta peach and kooky mouse designs, she’s stylistically something we’ve never seen on the show and rightfully won the challenge. Her casual humor and humility has me gasping for more. If you catch up to the behind the scenes companion show Untucked (which gives us a further hint of the queens before also falling prey to the YASGAGA awe), Nina could be this season’s underdog. I think we have our first star of the season.
Oh but if you thought the episode was relatively drama free for a premiere, RuPaul is always prepared to snatch your wig off. At the very end, Ru revealed he was bringing back a queen from a previous season - see, this Shangela / Season 3 moment is the only thing giving me early season vibes! Could the queens reactions from shocked, to enthusiastic, to underwhelmed reveal the identity of this queen? We’ll find out the lucky lady next week!
Overall this was one of the weakest premieres for the series with the Gaga-focus making for an episode that feels incomplete. But it still hints at one of the very best and most diverse lineups of competitors. Here is my current ranking (minus our mystery girl):
- Nina Bo'Nina Brown
- Shea Couleé
- Sasha Velour
- Peppermint
- Eureka O'Hara
- Alexis Michelle
- Valentina
- Farrah Moan
- Charlie Hides
- Aja
- Trinity Taylor
- Kimora Blac
- Jaymes Mansfield
Gif as Episode Grade:
What did you think of the premiere and which queens were your favorites?