Hello mortals,
It is me, your ruler and Empress Nicole Kidman here to remind you that perfection is attainable if you work real hard to attain it *giggles* OK, not really, I was born with it.
However, I was sent from my galaxy to share my perfection with you and improve your existence through my many servants across time and space. As I go about being all perfect and stuff at Cannes, I'll leave you with the meek Jose who will tell you stories of my achievements and miracles.
Toodles!
*vanishes in a cloud of lavender scented glitter*
Thanks your highness! Last time we saw Nicole she was pleasing John Cameron Mitchell, Elle Fanning and Sandy Powell by making her first Cannes appearance in Rodarte. Since then there have been a whopping three reports of Kidmanifestations at the French Riviera. Now let us turn our pages to the second chapter of the holy book of Kidman at Cannes. See the holy apparitions after the jump...
Who She Wore: Dior
Which Director She's Trying to Lure: The nature theme of the dress means she's set her eye on Terrence Malick himself.
What would Millicent Clyde think of this: "Charming, now if you excuse me."
I love how freaking sexy Nicole looked for The Killing of a Sacred Deer photocall, she was all "bedroom eyes", "look away from the camera", "touch the stand like it was made out of silk", and demureness galore. Heck, if the sacred deer she wanted me to slay was Bambi, I'd be all like "should I find his siblings too and bring them to you?"
Anything to get this look from her...
Moving on to the premiere of the film...
Who She Wore: Calvin Klein by Appointment
Which Director She's Trying to Lure: Either the ghost of Billy Wilder or jury president Pedro Almodóvar who also loves Audrey Hepburn.
What Would Joanna Eberhart Think of This: "No more black? Are you insane?"
Also, let's take a moment to admire her perfect choice of shoes.
And now for the final holy apparition of this installment...
Who She Wore: Versace
Which Director She's Trying to Lure: Considering Haneke, Pedro, Lanthimos and *everyone* else was there for the 70th anniversary photoshoot, she's clearly trying to attract them all.
What Would Grace Think of This: "The only thing that moves here is the light, but it changes everything."
Until we see Nicole again, you may go in peace.