by Tim Brayton
As part of our celebration of the career of Charlize Theron, I'm revisiting the performance of hers that first made me clearly aware that here was a woman whose career would be worth keeping an eye on. Unfortunately, it's a crap film, one of the worst she's ever been in: I speak of the 2001 Woody Allen project The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, a sluggish, mirthless throwback to the screwball comedies of old that is, by some reports, Allen's own least favorite of his career. I can't quite bring myself to agree with that assessment, but it's certainly right down there near the bottom.
In fact, Theron's performance as bored, spoiled rich society woman Laura Kensington is easily the best thing about the film, if not indeed the only good thing about it, period. I'm very happy to report that her work holds up, even without the sense of newness...
Theron's character is a relatively minor figure who only comes into Jade Scorpion a few times: she's the daughter of the family whose stolen jewels form the foundation of the plot (which involves a badly miscast Allen working as an insurance detective, while sparring with an efficiency expert played by an even more badly miscast Helen Hunt).
It's certainly enough to make an impression, though.
Chief among the flaws is the abysmal lack of chemistry between Allen and Hunt, who are supposed to be helplessly attracted to each other beneath the barbed dialogue, but only come across as two people who would happily dance at each other's funerals. In their brief time together, Theron is a vastly more satisfying foil for Allen than not just Hunt, but several of his leading women for years in either direction. Not that I, or any person with a modicum of taste, would anxiously seek out a movie where Charlize Theron and Woody Allen played lovers. It's not a good romantic chemistry they share, so much as a great compatibility for rhythmic banter.
Basically, Theron demonstrates the skill set of a terrific late '30s comic actress here, in material that's not nearly good enough to deserve her. Above everything else, she implies a character who is considerably smarter than the life she's living as an idle, rich New Yorker makes room. We can detect those smarts lying just beneath the more obvious boredom that fuels her sardonic, edgy behavior, and it seems to be much more an invention of the performance than the screenplay.
As written, Laura doesn't really exist to do more than lob barbed quips back and forth with Allen's C.W. Briggs. Which is alone sufficient to make her a more interesting character than Hunt is saddled with, lacking even decent one-liners. Still, the jokes could easily lie flat without Theron's dagger-sharp tone of voice, and the way she situates Laura's sense of humor as an extension of her wiry intelligence.
This is all mixed in with a rich vein of self-amusement as she probes at C.W., allowing us to understand how the neurotic little detective is at least enough of a novelty for her to find him fascinating for the limited span of their time together. There's a clear note of classist arrogance, and the ironic hardness of a woman trapped by a chauvinistic society needling a man who isn't good enough to be her conversation partner, and sexual hunger as a demonstration of fiery individuality, and all of this in a role that's so incidental to the movie that she's not even mentioned in the film's Wikipedia plot summary. Still, there's no denying that the film needs her, desperately: the only time Allen is anywhere near his best as a nervous wit is when he's working with her as a scene partner, and has her tart, self-possessed line readings to bounce off of; the only time the alleged comedy is particularly funny is when Theron is either delivering verbal attacks or responding to them. She is the solitary light in the darkness that is The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, and anyone who could be this winning in the face of a script this lead-footed deserves all of the career that has come her way in the intervening 16 years.