Netflix in July: Troy's Straight-Washing, Blue Valentine's Brilliance.
Thursday, July 5, 2018 at 5:00PM
NATHANIEL R in Blue Valentine, Brad Pitt, Garrett Hedlund, Goldie Hawn, Michelle Williams, Netflix, Rose Byrne, Ryan Gosling, The Voices, Troy, serial killers, streaming

Time to play Streaming Roulette. Each month, to survey new streaming titles we freeze frame the films at random places with the scroll bar and whatever comes up first, that's what we share!

July is kind of a quiet month on Netflix but which of these films will you be streaming for the first time or as a rewatch? Which do you have strong feelings about. Please do tell us in the comments. Ready? Let's go...

ARE YOU CRAZY?!? IF I CAN'T PULL MY CHUTE, YOU'LL DIE TOO!

Get Smart (2008)
Despite being an Anne Hathaway disciple I have not seen this. Worth a watch? Anyone? 

Hey, can I ask you something else: What's the story of that girl that was in here a month ago? 

Blue Valentine (2010)
Ryan Gosling is visiting his grandma because he's a sweet soul. I especially love the editing here. The image cuts to this for the rest of the visiting grandma dialogue...

The blonde, the young blonde. I gave her my card but she never called me. What's her name? 

Cindy.

Cindy. Will you tell her I say "Hi"?

It's still a total shame that His & Hers Oscar nominations didn't come from this powerhouse romantic drama. It got royally stiffed at the Oscars with a single nomination (for Michelle Williams). Here at the Film Bitch Awards it fared better with 7 nominations (including Best Picture). 

Jack was Frank's only friend. They were inseparable -- like, like one person. It was odd. You couldn't imagine more different people.

Deceived (1991)
Hmm, methinks this is an exposition scene. I've never seen this old Goldie Hawn thriller. Have you? These two women have the same hair color / cut except that Goldie's curls turn under at the end and the other lady doing the exposition, her curls turn up. Vive la différence!

-I'm so glad you asked me out.
-Me too. 

The Voices (2014)
Anna Kendrick's sweet accounting department employee is not long for this world since she's just starting sleeping with Ryan Reynolds who has a woman's head in his fridge at home. God I loathed this film which I saw at a festival knowing nothing about it. The serial killing of women as comedy... ? and directed by a woman no less? The mind boggles. WHY? That said Mary Harron did pull off that impossible trick with American Psycho but in her case she demonstrated a mastery of tone and whip-smart satirical intellect. Not to mention the genius work she pulled from her leading man. Marjane Satrapi's (Persepolis) film is all over the place tonally and Reynolds is no Bale. What was Satrapi going for exactly, here?

Gross. We need a palette cleanser so let's end with a Brad Pitt double feature...

[Gasping for air]

Interview with the Vampire (1994)
I dont understand Louis gasping for air when released from his coffin. Vampires can't suffocate. They're already dead. Louis' next thought is a panicked "Claudia! Where's Claudia?" I have some good news and some bad news Louis. Good news: Baby vampire Claudia gets nominated for a Golden Globe; Bad news: Oscar snubs her and the Globe nod is posthumous because these vampires don't sparkle in the sunshine. They turn to ash.

(P.S. I'd forgotten that the score to this movie by Elliot Goldenthal is really good and was nominated for an Oscar. It's annoying that this movie wasn't streaming when we were playing our 1994 games last month) 

I'll tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The gods envy us.

Troy (2004)
Achilles (Brad Pitt) is speaking to Rose Byrne in this scene. She's his love interest in one of the movie's most annoying rewrites of history. Patroclus (Garret Hedlund) was right there for the man-on-man loving but instead he was demoted to favorite cousin! I prefer this rendition of the story which is 152 minutes shorter than Troy.

In happier news at least Wolfgang Peterson understood that Brad Pitt was the sex symbol of the movie despite the story springing from a woman whose 'face launched a thousand ships' (Diane Kruger) and gave us plentiful Pitt to ogle.

Rose Byrne, not understanding how to play "fuck marry or kill," tries to choose Brad for all three simultaneously in "Troy"

In happiest news Rose Byrne, wasted here, has found her true calling in comedy since. She's a decent enough dramatic actress but in comedies she's working on a much higher plane. 

ALSO NEW ON NETFLIX FOR JULY

selections from later in the month

Article originally appeared on The Film Experience (http://thefilmexperience.net/).
See website for complete article licensing information.