by Chris Feil
Summer is for sharks at the multiplex and 2018 is no different. Recent highs include Blake Lively’s solo survival rendezvous with The Shallows and the lows have been last year’s spiteful low-fi 47 Meters Down. This year we get the highest concept and machoest of them all with The Meg, an amalgam of batshit tidied up into the most convincing guano bowl it can muster. But that’s fine, because witless mayhem is why you showed up in the first place. For something insane however, it isn't the whole hog disasterpiece of your schadenfreude fantasies.
And what do the shark invested waters have in store this time? Basically... a bigger shark. Consider it Mega-Shark Vs. Giant Sourpuss because we've got noted mean mugger Jason Statham at the head of this amusement ride...
Statham leads a deep sea crew that discovers a hydrogen-shrouded sub-ocean beneath the Mariana Trench (no, really) and unwittingly unearths an ancient megalodon into the ocean. That means a shark large enough to swallow whales, boats, and plotlines whole. Or at least your resistance to such daffiness, because it does somewhat win you over with its modest and essentially menace-free sense of fun. Abandon reason, but not necessarily ship.
Quite as you would expect, The Meg is delirious, humid nonsense. But where it disappoints is its missed opportunities. The ludicrousness of the megalodon’s invented deep sea home should provide a feast of silly monster movie goodness, and essentially gives us regular ocean fare. Our crew has high tech surroundings that never match the scale of its ubershark foe in showmanship, promising goofy gadgetry that never arrives. Even the camp factor is kept mostly at bay, favoring something tonally closer to a 90s midscale disaster film.
The film’s star however is wisely subdued. While one hardly recognizes Statham without a gun in his hands, he is a mostly delightful presence here for knowing precisely how much and how little to take this film seriously. His tough guy posturing is all there per usual but without the dull moroseness that makes his other actioners a drag. He is even somewhat aware that The Meg functions best as an ensemble piece rather than his usual star vehicles. Not for nothing, the film has its own levels of watchability for Rainn Wilson’s devious billionaire overlord, Bingbing Li’s surprising quippiness, and Page Kennedy’s audience surrogate voice of reason.
The Meg aims to answer the question “Can you polish a Sharknado into legitimacy?” Turns out, you can at least throw some money and a real star at it to elevate it, but that doesn’t mean it will completely satisfy.
Grade: C