by Nathaniel R
How was Globe night for you? We don't plan to rain on your parade if you loved it as we'll focus on the positive herein. That said a dark storm threatened to dampen the jolly proceedings from Ricky Gervais opening monologue. The joke gathering the cloud "I don't care anymore. Kidding, I never did." We have personally never seen an awards show host phone it in as much as Gervais did on the big night -- even James Franco tried harder at his famously disastrous Oscar co-host gig -- so good riddance to Gervais forever and ever. There's insult humor and then there's being a walking insult to anyone who deigns to watch you. BUT ON TO HAPPIER THINGS.
After the jump we'll share the key moments, winners, and takeaways...
10 MOMENTS WE CHERISHED, IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER
1. Our DVR failed to record (argh!) ruining some delicious plans of images to share with you but the first was Cate Blanchett's decidedly unamused grimace at Ricky Gervais's Epstein joke. To be honest his super-offense jokes were the best ones (comparatively speaking so "best" is still worst) because at least they elicited a reaction from people.
2. We live for the tiny snippets as we head to commercial breaks and in the first of these Meryl Streep talks to an enraptured Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach. This image was frameable!
3. A rare glimpse of Elton John's eyes as he takes the stage with his lifelong writing partner Bernie Taupin but can't read the teleprompter through his giant colored lenses. "The Bitch is Back" isn't quite the right song to sing about Elton on this night because, though back, he was full of joy all night... especially when Taron Egerton won.
4. Stellan Skarsgard wins the first acting awards and sets the bar fairly high for speeches with a "where is this going?" story that begins with a drunken Milos Forman impersonation and ends with a punchline that doubled as an ode to his makeup artist.
5. Phoebe Waller-Bridges wins for Fleabag and begins by raving about Andrew Scott and how he could have chemistry with a pebble. This made us so happy as longtime fans of Scott and as longtime advocates that out gay actors can play any type or role, including romantic leads as Scott so expertly did. Later when Phoebe wins again for series she makes it at least partially about Barack Obama putting her on his "top movies and tv show" list. President of Good Taste!
6. We see Elton John's joy and raise you Margot Robbie's utter delight when she gets to hand Quentin Tarantino a Globe for his screenplay. Tarantino, who should never give his own acceptance speeches, ruins it by commenting on this but you can't have everything.
7. Another great pre-commercial glimpse. This time it's Toni Collette laughing heartily. But who is cracking her up? Since our DVR didn't record (Argh again) we have forgotten who was amusing her.
8. Seeing genuinely stunned winners including Stellan Skarsgard, Sam Mendes, and the Missing Link team who were "flabbergasted"
9. Tom Hanks and Ellen DeGeneres. Those tributes wow (Oscar producers were so stupid to drop the honorary Oscars from the broadcast as these tributes can be special). Best of all was Kate McKinnon's ode to Ellen which deserves essays of its own and will surely get them 'round the internet.
10. Michelle Williams gives the most political and brave speech of the night which is beautifully written and dovetails from her career choices and her right to choose. Revealing you've had an abortion when you're very famous might be the only way to wake people up that we must protect a woman's right to her own body. VOTE. As if the speech and the deserving win (she couldn't have been more incredible in Fosse/Verdon) weren't enough, the Globe control room team blessed us with a cutaway to another Michelle, La Pfeiffer, listening intently.
11. Did you feel the love in the room when Brad Pitt won? It was coming off of the TV like waves. Oscar completely locked up. More on Brad soon.
27 WINNERS
Best Picture, Drama 1917
Best Picture, Comedy/Musical Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Picture, Animated Missing Link
Best Picture, Foreign Language Parasite
Best Director Sam Mendes, 1917
Best Screenplay Quentin Tarantino, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Best Score Hildur Gudnadottir, Joker
Best Song Elton John & Bernie Taupin, "I'm Gonna Love Me Again" from Rocketman
Best Actress, Drama Renée Zellweger, Judy
Best Actress, Comedy/Musical Awkwafina, The Farewell
Best Actor, Drama Joaquin Phoenix, Joker
Best Actor, Comedy/Musical Taron Egerton, Rocketman
Best Supporting Actress Laura Dern, Marriage Story
Best Supporting Actor Brad Pitt, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
Carol Burnett Award (TV Lifetime Achievement) Ellen DeGeneres
Cecil B DeMiller Award (Movies Lifetime Achievement) Tom Hanks
Best Series, Drama Succession
Best Series, Comedy Fleabag
Best Limited Series Chernobyl
Best Actress, Limited Series Michelle William, Fosse/Verdon
Best Actress, DramaOlivia Colman, The Crown
Best Actress, Comedy Phoebe Waller-Bridge Fleabag
Best Actor, Limited Series Russell Crowe, The Loudest Voice
Best Actor, Drama Brian Cox, Succession
Best Actor, Comedy Ramy Youseff, Ramy
Best Supporting Actress Patricia Arquette, The Act
Best Supporting Actor Stellan Skarsgard, Chernobyl
3 TAKEWAYS
1. The Irishman went home completely empty-handed. Will that repeat on Oscar night? Scorsese has been there before; Gangs of New York, Taxi Driver, and Wolf of Wall Street lost all their categories on Oscar night.
2. Phoenix, Zellweger, Dern, and Pitt are your probable Oscar winners. Usually once the televised awards begin voters turn hard into autopilot mode, repeating the same acting winners as the awards show before them. That said, only Pitt's speech might be read as an unqualified success in terms of the kind of speech you'd gladly hear again on Oscar night. Murtada has some things to say about Zellweger's speech so we'll save that for a bit later today. That's a very blonde and fifty-something lineup, Phoenix notwithstanding (brunette and forty-something).
3. 1917 really needed that. Now arguably the Globe voters loved Once Upon a Time in Hollywood just as much or more but the win for Sam Mendes war drama might just be the jolt the movie needs as it expands into wide release and as Academy members consider their votes. We still think the Best Picture win on Oscar night is anyone's game.