What Other Movies Should Get The Justice League Snyder Cut Treatment?
Saturday, March 27, 2021 at 5:00PM
Christopher James in A Star is Born, Apple TV+, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Disney Plus, Fatal Attraction, HBO Max, Hulu, Justice League, Netflix, The Emperor's New Groove, Zach Snyder, cats
By: Christopher James

 

Sequel culture has led to remake culture and now... recut culture?  HBO Max recently released Zack Snyder’s four hour cut of Justice League to subscribers. Snyder left the film in 2017 in the wake of his daughter’s suicide, leaving the project in the hands of Joss Whedon. When the film was released in November, Justice League was savaged by critics and audiences alike. The two hour film had very little character development, laughable dialogue, an unmemorable villain, bad CGI and made very little sense. Sequel culture has led to remake culture and now to recut culture of movies of the recent past.

While we prefer new movies and the classics to reworking old-IP, why not join in on the fun and ponder the alternate realities of what could’ve been had Justice League been 4 hours or had Mrs. Doubtfire been rated R? If streamers have hoards of IP and buckets of money, what other cuts of old movies should they bring to life?

Here are ten suggestions…

Dear Tim Cook, get Jodie Foster behind the camera again.

Help Jodie Foster Make Flora Plum (Apple TV+)
When Apple TV+ made its splashy first upfronts, it was quick to reveal all the A-list talent it was working with. Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon and Snoopy were all part of the Apple TV+ family. You know who wasn’t there? Jodie Foster! After watching her virtually win the Golden Globe in her pajamas for The Mauritanian, the world suddenly realized they wanted more of Jodie Foster (even if they won’t watch The Mauritanian). Apple TV+ should get Foster on their team with a deal that is too good for her to resist. Promise to give her $70 million to make her depression era circus drama Flora Plum that has been in the works since the 90s. Claire Danes may be too old now, but act quickly and Anya Taylor-Joy could be available.

Looks like a good encapsulation of Roger Allers and Mark Dindal making two versions of "The Emperor's New Groove" concurrently.

The Kingdom of the Sun (Disney+)
Vulture recently published an oral history of the 2000 Disney animated film The Emperor’s New Groove that was as entertaining as the zany film itself. Originally, the film was going to be a grand musical epic tied to the Incan myths and featuring multiple songs by Sting. Through an insane series of events Roger Allers’ vision was set aside in favor of the goofier ideas of Mark Dindal. According to the article, it all came down to a crazy bake off between the two visions. If Disney+ is looking for more content to give its subscribers, give Rogers Allers $70 million and a second chance to make his vision for The Kingdom of the Sun a reality. David Spade can reprise his role as Kuzko and Jujubee can voice Ezma in the style of Eartha Kitt. The song "Snuff Out the Light" from the original film exists on the internet just to give us a taste of what we are missing.


Give Daphne and Velma the makeout session they deserve, HBO Max.The Adult Version of Raja Gosnell’s Scooby Doo (HBO MAX)
The 2001 live action Scooby Doo already resembles the more adult version that was originally intended. Shaggy falls for a woman named Mary Jane and the whole movie takes place on a Spring Break theme park destination. Still, apparently a test screening in Sacramento and the threat of an R-rating caused Warner Brothers to substantially alter the film, directed by Raja Gosnell and written by James Gunn. So what had to be cut? Language, weed and sex jokes hit the cutting room floor. Additionally, a kiss between Velma (Linda Cardellini) and Daphne (Sarah Michelle Geller) was cut. The internet has already unearthed a deleted scene alluding to a more queer version of Velma. 

 

 

We would’ve love to seen lesbian icon Velma get to live her truth, rather than be saddled with a boyfriend in the sequel played by Seth Green. 

Justice for Judy!

The Uncovered Footage From George Cukor’s A Star Is Born (HBO MAX)
Judy Garland’s performance in A Star is Born is one of the greatest ever committed to film. The problem is, not all of the film made it to the screen. Despite great reviews, the three hour running time during the film’s initial release made theater owners upset as they would have less screenings per day. Thus, Jack and Danny Warner went and hacked away at the picture, reducing it to a 154 minute cut that reportedly wasn't as satisfying. The cut footage was destroyed, never to be seen again. Luckily, in 1983 Ronald Harver did a massive restoration that involved stitching old audio recordings of the missing scenes over promotional stills for the film. It’s hardly perfect, but it definitely brings the film back to its legendary earliest glory. Warner Brothers now owes it to the ghost of Judy Garland to spend $70 million in completing the restoration. Get Renee Zellweger back in her Judy Garland costume and have her re-enact the missing scenes. Make her earn that Oscar she already won.

Adrien Brody wasn't the only one virtually cut out of Terrence Malick's "The Thin Red Line."

All the Deleted Actors from The Thin Red Line (Hulu)
If Malick-heads didn’t have the Hulu-Disney+-ESPN+ bundle yet, this is a surefire way to get them. Just because you are cast in a Terrence Malick movie doesn’t mean that you will end up in a Terrence Malick movie. However, Hulu could have the power to change that! Take $70 million from the Disney vault and put all of the actors Malick cut back into The Thin Red Line. Bill Pullman, Mickey Rourke and Lukas Haas can all see themselves in army gear somewhere in the tall grass. Oscar winner Adrien Brody might get more than a few lines. The 170 minute movie might balloon to closer to four hours. If that feels like an issue, they can chop it up and make it a limited series.

We'll take more Julianne Moore wherever we can.

Can You Ever Forgive Me with Julianne Moore (Hulu)
Melissa McCarthy is perfect as Lee Israel. In fact, Marielle Heller’s 2018 film is perfect as is. Yet, we can never have enough Julianne Moore vehicles. Moore was fired six days before shooting due to “creative differences'' that appeared to be around Moore’s insistence on wearing a prosthetic nose and fatsuit. This seems much worse than the version that we did get. Still, now that Searchlight is part of the Disney family, this would be a welcome addition to Hulu family. Maybe they can air it linearly on FX so it could be an “FX on Hulu” special like Mrs. America.

"The Magnificent Ambersons" may have made it into the Library of Congress, but Orson Welles has some problems with the cut that exists.

Give Orson Welles the Magnificent Ambersons Ending He Deserved (Netflix)
The big ticket IP for any streaming service would be The Magnificent Amersons, Orson Welles’ lauded 1942 drama about a wealthy Midwestern family changed forever by the automobile industry. After poor initial test screenings, RKO took the picture and cut 40 minutes from it. As if the severe trimming wasn’t bad enough, they also reshot a much happier ending that didn’t fit with Welles vision for the film. Orson Welles revealed to Peter Bogdanovich in conversations between 1969-1975 for This Is Orson Welles that he had wanted to re-shoot the ending with the remaining live cast members, but could not get it together. If Netflix can bring The Other Side of the Wind to life, then they should also give Welles the ending that RKO denied him. Though the theatrical cut is preserved in the Library of Congress, I’m sure they’ll also want to have the expanded version. Just make sure they get the Netflix "bum bum” logo at the beginning and the suggestion for Firefly Lane over the credits.

Glenn Close will not be ignored, Paramount Plus.

The Glenn Close Cut of Fatal Attraction (Paramount+)
Glenn Close doesn’t need an Oscar, she needs closure with her most iconic character. Fatal Attraction was the top grossing film of 1987 and a major Oscar player. It was a huge hit that critics and audiences adored. However, Close had disagreed with the studio when they wanted her to film a new ending that would turn her malevolent Alex Forrest from a scorned woman to a boogeyman. The original ending that Close wanted does exist in special features. However, let’s have Paramount Plus hand over control of the movie to Close and get the definitive version of the story for Alex Forrest. It's not perfect, but it's better than the series idea the streamer has planned.


Live footage of us watching the butthole cut of "Cats."

The Butthole Cut of Cats (Peacock)
The theatrical cut of Cats featured Rebel Wilson eating her cockroach backup dancers and Judi Dench licking the inside of her leg. What more could it have used? Buttholes. That’s right. The cats in Cats were more humanlike than cat-like (all their hands and feets stayed intact). At one point, the cats also had visible buttholes as they pirouetted throughout the Jellicle Ball. The PG rating would likely be harder to keep with this version. However, bringing back the buttholes could also allow Hooper to tinker around even further with his grotesque camp classic in the making. Could an extra $70 million fix the visual effects that kept Judi Dench’s wedding ring in the final product? Would two extra hours help the film make more sense or less sense? How many more cats could be introduced, and who would play them? So many more questions and almost zero answers could be ascertained from a four hour, butthole focused cut of Cats. Get on it Peacock, #ReleaseTheButtholeCut.

Why would you ever cut out Angela Bassett from your movie?

The Angela Bassett Cut of Mr. and Mrs. Smith (Prime Video)
Donald Glover and Phoebe Waller-Bridge are already going to star in a series version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith for Prime Video. However, the reason for that movie existing was for the affair between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie that set tabloids on fire. If anything, we want more of that movie. Not more of what we actually saw (we spend so much time on Adam Brody in that movie). It seems that Angela Bassett's role as Pitt’s boss was cut from the final film. Let’s add those scenes back in and then have Jeff Bezos spend $70 million more expanding her role. What makes her tic? What’s her backstory? Angela Bassett needs more lead roles, and this could be the perfect opportunity.

None of those options strike your fancy, studio executives? There’s a lot you could do with $70 million. Here are some other ways you can stretch out some old catalog movies to be four hours like Justice League:


What definitive director’s cuts would you like to see a streaming service make happen? Let us know in the comments below.

Article originally appeared on The Film Experience (http://thefilmexperience.net/).
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