The Film Experience

a series by Christopher James looking at the 'Gay Best Friend' trope

"She doesn't even go here" - Daniel Franzese steals yet another scene as Damian in "Mean Girls."Everyone remembers their first.

I don’t think Damian from Mean Girls was the first gay character I saw on screen. So many comedies throughout the 90s and early 00s used gay characters as easy punchlines or setup for gay panic jokes. However, Damian was the first time I saw someone who said it was ok to be gay. It would be many years before I myself came out, but Damian always felt like a touchstone to come back to. Damian is arguably the most famous example of the “Gay Best Friend” trope in 21st century movies thus far. He epitomizes the stereotype in both positive and negative ways. What stands out and makes him timeless is the way he takes up space within the school, especially at a time where gay kids often tried to “make it through” or “fade into the background.” If he was going to be a stereotype, by God he was going to let you know that he was the stereotype and you'd better pay attention...

Who doesn’t know the story of Mean Girls? For home-schooled jungle freaks, here’s a quick recap. Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan) grew up in Africa and only moved to America in her junior year of high school when her Mom got a job at Northwestern. She finds herself out of place in a typical American high school, although she quickly befriends both the “art freaks“ - Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese) - and the popular clique The Plastics - Regina George (Rachel McAdams), Gretchen Weiners (Lacey Chabert) and Karen Smith (Amanda Seyfriend). Janis and Damian convince Cady to infiltrate the Plastics and try to ruin them from the inside. As Cady skyrockets in popularity, she becomes addicted to the adoration from the school and grows mad with power.

Would love to play hookie with these two.

Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damian sat next to her in English last year.

Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.

[Cady snickers]

Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.

Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.

Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.

Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.

Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.

Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.

Damian is instantly presented as a possible oasis for Cady in a sea of confusion. Lindsay Lohan expertly conveys how out of place Cady is entering high school as a homeschooled girl raised in Africa. When she walks into class, Damian and Janis immediately offer her quick tips on where to sit. There’s a sense that Cady doesn’t know what to make of this duo. Are they friend or foe? She doesn’t find out that day. She keeps to herself for the entirety of her first day, eating lunch in the bathroom. The next day is a different story. She returns their interest with conversation. The rest, as they say, is history.

Janis and Damian jump at the chance of being friends with Cady. She’s this blank slate that they can mold. They skip health class to give Cady the rundown of the caste system of high school, including the dreaded Plastics. The best people to ask about the social strata are the people just outside looking in. Damian and Janis have everyone’s number and are eager to spill the tea to Cady. There’s a freedom to the candor they speak about their fellow students, even if it’s far from kind. They’ve already been ostracized, so why worry about being oneself? The worst has already been done.

Not cool, Cady.

Karen: [pointing to Damian in background of picture] Hey, who is that?

Gretchen: I think it's that kid, Damian.

Cady: Yeah, he's almost too gay to function.

[Karen & Gretchen chuckle]

Regina: That's funny, put that in there.

Cady (VO): Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Janis said it.

-----------

Damian: [reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book] "Too gay to function?"

Janis: That's only okay when *I* say it!

Allyship is earned.

The bond Damian and Janis have is one of the strongest, most enduring aspects of Mean Girls. Here are two bitter queens whose love for each other even towers over their hatred of the plastics. While Cady instantly becomes the third wheel in this lovely band of “art freaks,” she’s not automatically one of them. When Cady goes to Regina’s house and sees the Burn Book, her comment about Damian is merely a rote recitation of something Janis had jokingly said about him during one of their hangs. In that context, it was playful and fun. Cady instantly realizes that how she said the same words was hurtful and mean. When Janis said he was “too gay to function,” she was expressing her love of his queerness through light shade. Cady knew the Plastics would take her mention of Damian’s queerness as an insult, something he should be ashamed of, something that makes him non-functioning.

When the Burn Book is published, Cady’s inner monologue is confirmed. Damian and Janis see the entry and are immediately offended. That is ONLY okay when JANIS says it. On the same page, Janis is called “Janis Ian Dyke.” Janis already knows the Plastics have called her this, so she’s less fazed by it. However, this callout clearly comes from Cady. Has she been gossiping to the Plastics about them all along? Was she ashamed of Damian’s gayness? Obviously she hadn’t invited either of them to her party, so who knows where her allyship lies.

To be fair, we're all obsessed with Rachel McAdams.

Regina: She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's on crack.

One of the most potent elements of Mean Girls is how it lives up to its name. The mean-ness of the characters is heightened, but realistic. Regina George is a monster, but exists within the real world. She understands how to interrogate, exploit and manipulate people’s insecurities. Especially in high school, everyone feels driven by their insecurities. Especially in middle school/high school 2004, there were few things scarier than being found out as gay. Regina weaponizes generalized homophobia to ostracize Janis Ian. Never mind if she actually is gay or not. Regina knows that the mere suggestion of homosexuality can make Janis a pariah. She places a scarlet “L” for lesbian on Janis’ chest, and it’s something that can’t be taken off. In high school, if someone else is the target, it means you aren’t the target. It’s so much easier to pick on the person who is picked on, rather than stand up for them.

Here is where Damian becomes an exemplary gay best friend in his own right. He’s happy to put the target on himself. Owning up to who he is doesn’t make him cool by high school standards. He’s still mocked by some, but for the most part looked over. He gets to exist as his authentic self, which for a gay teen in 2004 was quite something. Take for example the talent show, where Damian belts his best rendition of “Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera. At first, his flamboyant performance seems to be the joke (“Don’t look at me” is an iconic line reading). Then a shoe gets thrown at his face from some jocks in the front row. Damian takes a beat, composes himself, takes the shoe and throws it right back at them, all while continuing the song. “Don’t you bring me down today” he bellows. Even having gone to high school a few years after this film, there’s no way I would’ve had the courage to fight back and brush off something like that. There’s this beat of strength that Daniel Franzese taps into that is core to what makes Damian timeless.

So many characters get neat little endings as the film wraps up. Even Janis Ian embarks on a relationship with rapping mathlete Kevin Gnapoor (Rajiv Surendra). Damian doesn’t get an ending, a love interest or even a short fling. He’s still the gay best friend in the end. Unfortunately, that’s the plight of the gay best friend. They give and they give and they give, but people still don’t care to delve into their interior life. I’ll always cherish Damian for defining what self assurance and queer strength can look like for a high schooler. However, watching in 2021, I felt sad that we didn’t see more of who Damian was and what Damian wanted. Perhaps he also still had more to come in to. Here’s hoping that he and Janis stayed friends (and forgot about their weird kiss), he got lots of dick in college and that he had a life as grand and operatic as the Celine Dion poster hanging on his bedroom wall.

Previously in Gay Best Friend

pre stonewall

post stonewall

1990s and the 2000s

the now