In preparation for the next Smackdown Team Experience is traveling back to 2000.
This is a place for legends only - (from left to right) Conchata Farrell, Julia Roberts, Albert Finney.
by Christopher James
The old saying “They don’t make them like they used to” is both tired and true. You won’t find another movie as quotable and inspiring as Erin Brockovich. Steven Soderbergh’s 2000 drama was the truest definition of a four-quadrant hit if there ever was one. Julia Roberts starred in the titular role as a blue-collar single mother who ends up taking on PG&E for poisoning the town of HInkley, California. Roberts deservedly won the Best Actress Oscar for her work in the movie, which perfectly uses her gifts as a movie star, rom-com Queen and dramatic actor.
Even more miraculous than the central performance is Susannah Grant’s incredible screenplay. It was nominated for Best Original Screenplay, losing to Almost Famous. Not only does she make a two hour plus procedural about water contamination feel riveting at every turn, she also makes it funny. Erin Brockovich is loaded with one liners that are guaranteed to make you laugh, cheer or cry. The movie works every one of your emotions, without every feeling manipulating or tonally inconsistent. Relive the 10 best lines from the classic film after the jump...
10. THAT ASSHOLE SMASHED IN MY FUCKING NECK!
What a perfect way to personify Erin early. After attempting to be ladylike and cordial, a rude, sexist line of questioning sets Erin off. No one is going to paint her like a lazy person, a bad mother or a dishonest human. Gone is the rehearsed, Erin. It's showtime for the real woman. Even in her unfiltered fury, Erin maintains the moral high ground. That asshole did, in fact, smash in her fucking neck. She will annunciate just to make sure that is fucking clear to everyone around her. Why didn't the judge listen to her?
9. As long as I have one ass instead of two, I'll wear what I like...
Yes, the movie does love its fat jokes (I wanted to choose the Krispy Kreme line, but I do know it's bad). Normally, when things fall into crunchy moral territory in film, I like to ask "is this something the character would believably say?" In the case of Erin, her body is one of her most prized possessions as its something she knows she can use. She's not about trading sexual favors to get ahead. She just knows how to use the male gaze to get what she wants. That's exactly what she's telling her boss, Ed Masry (Albert Finney) with this line. Erin is never conflicted about her body. She loves the skin she's in and never questions whether or not to use it to her advantage.
8. For the first time in my life, I've got people respecting me. Please, don't ask me to give that up.
A lesser movie wouldn't suggest Erin Brockavich has a selfish bone in her body. After all, it's an inspiring story of a woman overcoming countless obstacles to take down a corporation. Yet, Grant really fleshes out Erin's desire for attention and power. After suffering so many setbacks with kids, divorces and financial trouble, Erin is absolutely starving for control. Yes, she wants to save the people of Hinkley and see that justice is served. A part of her also wants to be thought of as a hero. This doesn't make her a bad person. In fact, it makes her a believable person. This is such an important characterization that underlines all of Erin's choices before and after the line is said.
7. By the way, we had that water brought in specially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Erin loves prop comedy. When the PG&E lawyers stop by Ed and Erin's office, they underestimate their opponents. Roberts once again sells Erin's righteous indignation, as she cites many of her plaintiff's ailments. Finney is just as good as Roberts as an old pro standing by and watching his young associate get wound up and go off. They make such a great team. However, the best line of the scene isn't any of the fiery examples that Roberts makes a meal of in the delivery. It's her biting hospitality at the end. She's serving them the contaminated water they've tried to cover up. You reap what you sow.
6. I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired.
Throughout the movie, Erin finds herself out of place or undervalued because of her lack of formal education. This insecurity plagues her every move, but also fires her up to go above and beyond. It's a smart dramatization of a character's Achilles heel also being their greatest strength. When Erin finally delivers the case winning evidence, she's prepared to rub it in the faces of her hoity toity colleagues, all while making herself the butt of the joke. The joy of Roberts' and Grant's interpretation of Erin is that she knows exactly who she is. Thus, she can play with people's perceptions of her and throw their preconceived notions right back in their faces.
5. How 'bout this for a number? Six. That's how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I've been married - and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That's my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I'm guessing zero is the number of times you're gonna call it.
Erin is always up for a monologue, isn't she? Even when she's at her wits end and exhasperated, she's willing to deliver a clever response to the next door neighbor hitting on her. The target of her scorn: George (Aaron Eckhart), a surprisingly cuddly biker who loves to rev his engines at night. You can tell in this scene that Erin needs a person to vent to. Absolutely anyone will do including this horny biker. Even in taking the piss out herself, she manages to take the piss out of him. Just like Aaron Eckhart's George, we've yet again fallen head over heels in love with Erin Brockovich.
4. Not personal? That is my time, my sweat and my time away from my kids — If that's not personal, I don't know what is.
First off, Julia Roberts looks fabulously disheveld in the best way possible here. She completely personifies what someone would look like when they're trying to convince others they aren't sick. Overcompensation drips from every pore of her sweaty body. It also comes out in her frantic voice. For so much of the movie, we've seen Erin topple every man that has underestimated her. For this reason, we know she can never let her guard down. This explains why she's so mad that a decision was made on her sick day, even if it might not have been intentional. However, it also provides a great runway for an Oscar clip ready meltdown that feels like a stream of consciousness. Erin knows she has put work over her kids and has made peace with that decision. Yet, she'll be damned if she lets that work be in vain. The cough at the end all but secured her Oscar victory.
3. They’re Called Boobs, Ed
In a film where Julia howls from the rooftops every chance she gets, I love that she underplays this hilarious line. Her voice reeks of "no, duh," in a way that is delighful and flippant. Erin's beauty makes people underestimate her and helps her achieve her goals. A former pagent girl, Erin has always known beauty is one of the main tools in her aresnal, though it is far from her only tool. In a way, Erin is reclaiming her body to work for her and her interests. If she's going to have to play in a man's world, she's gotta know how to beat it.
2. Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize? Because you suck at it!
As transcendent as Julia Roberts is throughout the movie, it would not have worked without Albert Finney's Ed Masry. He's the perfect straight man to Julia's excitable crusader. Ed's final jab at Erin makes for the biggest moment to clap in the film, as it represents a nice arc for his character. This professional lawyer had made his fair share of judgments about Erin, only to be proven wrong. Once he saw potential in her, he became her partner and her rock, enabling her to fly even when others doubted her. His advice and his banter with her springs from his love and admiration. It's so nice to have admiration expressed through shade thrown with a nice shit-eating grin. Finney is just perfect!
1. That's all you got, lady. Two wrong feet and fucking ugly shoes.
I mean... how could you not? It's poetry. How can one recover from such an A+ line reading? As Ed Masry notes, poor Theresa was just doing her job. Yet, if I were Theresa, I would've asked for another job immediately, or at least taken two weeks off to ice that burn.
Wow. Truly stunning, Julia. Susannah, a standing ovation. Everyone involved, take a bow. The way Erin turns Theresa's words back in her face - I get goosebumps every time. Erin Brockovich is a perfect movie. The stick man knew not to play Julia Roberts off because he saw this scene.
What are your favorite lines or moments from Erin Brockovich? Let us know in the comments below.