by Baby Clyde
From Rydell to Ridgemont and The High School of Performing Arts nothing seemed more exciting to a British tween in the 80’s than going to school in America. They had jocks and cafeterias and grade point averages. We had cricket and Spam Fritters and mock exams. There were no proms in the UK. No leather jacketed bad boys or Homecoming Queens. Nobody drove their own cars to school (Their own CARS!!!). It was blazers, morning prayers and the occasional coach rip to Hever Castle if you were lucky. We had Grange Hill. They had The Breakfast Club.
It's hard to explain just how cool the American education system seemed to us as kids back then. We thought that all US teens lived in their own John Hughes movie the same way the rest of the world thinks that we Brits attended Hogwarts. For that you can mostly blame The Brain, The Athlete, The Basketcase, The Princess and The Criminal...
For those of you who didn’t grow up in the greatest decade, The Breakfast Club tells the story of five students forced to attend Saturday detention due to various infractions which come to light over the course of the film. Our heroes are made up of a motley crew of teenage stereotypes – Claire (Molly Ringwald) the spoiled, popular beauty, Andrew (Emilio Estevez) the wrestling champion, Brian (Anthony Michael Hall) the overachieving nerd, John (Judd Nelson) the school rebel and Allison (Ally Sheedy) the reclusive weirdo. It will surprise nobody to hear that over the course of the day they realise they have more in common than was initially assumed.
I remember what a big deal this film was in the school playground (Do American schools have playgrounds? Doesn’t everyone just hang out in the parking lot or under the bleachers? What even are bleachers???). It was one of those movies that filtered down from the older kids. ‘Have you seen The Breakfast Club yet?’ became the question of the day, ‘Which one are you?’. People would discuss Hot Beef Injections much to the bewilderment of those in the years below and for a brief time ‘Eat My Shorts’ became the fashionable retort to every perceived slight.
I had the double misfortune of being both too young to see it in the cinema and too poor to own a VCR (This changed Christmas 1987. Greatest day of my life). Whilst it was all the rage at school, I had to wait to be invited round to the house of video owning friend before finally being able to view this era-defining masterwork. I was obsessed. It was so deep and meaningful. It spoke to my generation on numerous levels. We could all see ourselves in at least one of the characters and the profound problem they were all facing. At that time, the very thought of belonging to a club and sticking it to the school authorities seemed incredibly appealing.
For a while I even thought I fancied Molly Ringwald, but I most identified with Ally Sheedy’s Alison. It was the very beginning of my indie goth phase and she was easy to relate to when you were listening to The Smiths on a loop.
Unfortunately, on a rewatch 37 years later I’m sad to say The Breakfast Club is not a very good film. A poorly scripted, filmed play with clunking musical cues and ludicrous set pieces. Two dimensional characters whose journeys are both completely predictable and entirely implausible.
That’s not to say I don’t still love it. It is fantastically cast with great performances all round and definitely captures the teen angst and alienation inherent in every generation. There are so many memorable moments - Bender lighting a cigarette by setting his shoe on fire, Allison making a breakfast cereal sandwich, Brian hiding a bag of weed down his trousers, Andrew taping someone’s hairy arse cheeks together and Claire’s incredible 80’s dancing. Of course, it’s impossible not to mention Simple Minds’ iconic smash hit theme tune Don’t You Forget About Me. Every film in the 80’s had and iconic, smash hit theme tune.
The low point is obviously Ally Sheedy’s woeful makeover. The single worst in movie history. And all she gets in return for discarding her entire identity is to snog Emilio Estevez. Even back then I was like WAH???
It's a real shame that none of these actors (and very few of their Brat Pack brethren) were able to navigate A List acting success into the 90’s and beyond, doomed by the negative connotation that label brought with it. It’s really time for a Molly Ringwald renaissance.
Despite its flaws I have an awful lot of affection for the movie. Obviously, all these years later it’s no longer aimed at me. It’s for disillusioned kids in the 80’s who could see their own struggles and insecurities up there on the screen and identify. It gave them hope that things would get better. It gave me hope that things would get better. But most importantly it taught me how to apply lipstick with my boobs, for which I will be eternally grateful.
The Breakfast Club is streaming on Hulu - here's what else is streaming this month.