Curated for you so you don't have to spend time on Twitter. We begin with a perfect tweet timed to daily film festival nonsense (before moving on to more festival nonsense)...
BREAKING: Martin Scorsese's THE AGE OF INNOCENCE just received a 20-minute standing ovation from me in my living room after viewing it for the 100th time
— La Pfeiffer (@La_Pfeiffer) September 9, 2022
SO FLORENCE PUGH DIDN'T LIKE OLIVIA WILDE HOOKING UP WITH HARRY STYLES BECAUSE SHE'S FRIENDS WITH OLIVIA'S HUSBAND JASON SUDEIKIS SO FLORENCE WOULDN'T PROMOTE THE MOVIE. THEN SHIA LEBEOUF LEAKED A VIDEO OF OLIVIA CALLING FLORENCE "MISS FLO" & NOW HARRY SPIT ON CHRIS PINE, BUT... pic.twitter.com/H3NxkEavxQ
— Uncle Johnny π³οΈπ (@MvelaseP) September 6, 2022
"I just popped over to Venice to spit on Chris Pine, but fear not, we’re back!"
— HSD Love On Tour (@hsdlot) September 8, 2022
(via @2011satellite) pic.twitter.com/a4Q0EJ66VJ
That's the real question isn't it: why? The how and the who is just scenery for the public. Pugh, Styles, Wilde, LaBeouf, keeps 'em guessing like some kind of parlor game, prevents 'em from asking the most important question: why? Why was Chris Pine spit on? Who benefited? Who?? pic.twitter.com/0DGYXgxWxB
— π πππ πππ ππ ππππ πππππ (@shdwbxng) September 6, 2022
DON’T WORRY DARLING is undeniably a film. Brimming with a score, cinematography, and performances, it’s a motion picture made by a team of filmmakers that can irrefutably be described as existent. Truly one of the films 2022 has to offer. #Venezia79
— Bronco Henry (@realHenryB) September 5, 2022
Turns out the car chase in Don't Worry Darling wasn't scripted. Florence Pugh happened to flee the set and the crew just ran with it. pic.twitter.com/Xhkq81IiJV
— Helgason (@PerceptiveCoot) August 26, 2022
trying to convince my friends that this is the perfect group halloween costume pic.twitter.com/xoH5saUMZg
— irene anna (@enerianna) September 7, 2022
chris pine disassociating at a press conference, florence pugh showing up 15 mins late with an aperol spritz, tom cruise clinging to a plane and saying "see you at the movies!", brendan fraser getting a six minute ovation...maybe cinema really is back
— monica π«‘ (@waystarroyhoe) September 5, 2022
OKAY A HAPPIER FESTIVAL BUZZ MOMENT...
THE FABELMANS is only secondarily a Steven Spielberg origin story; primarily, itβs a look-at-what-she-can-do Michelle Williams vehicle and MW *really* goes for it, like someone who knows sheβs been handed her signature role. Back-to-back Spielberg wins in Supporting Actress?
— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) September 11, 2022
AND ON TO MISCELLANIA...
Gee that Oscar has never felt further away, has it? pic.twitter.com/spq7P3RnaZ
— Rob’s Cheaper, Ad-Supported Version (@r0bwatson) September 9, 2022
I want Florian Zeller to keep going. I want The Cousin. The Half-Nephew Once Removed. The Crazy Aunt Who Insists We Call Her Sassy.
— Joey Joey Joey @ TIFF TIFF TIFF (@JoeyMoser83) September 7, 2022
Southwest flight attendant told us to fasten our seatbelts because “the captain just saw Top Gun and wants to try something new”
— amy (@arb) September 10, 2022
If you’re a Sondheim show in line to announce a Broadway revival, STAY IN LINE.
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) September 5, 2022
this part from melissa anderson’s book on INLAND EMPIRE: pic.twitter.com/6ZOBmGq1kx
— jourdain is at TIFF (@judysquirrels) September 10, 2022
I have read from the sacred text — feeling spiritually renewed π pic.twitter.com/6LkEUXLC5B
— Kevin Jacobsen (@Kevin_Jacobsen) September 7, 2022
Didn’t listen to a single word he said pic.twitter.com/eWwJvMY3yo
— czech hunter x hunter (@dps_moira) September 9, 2022
This is the most I’ve ever seen Harrison Ford smile pic.twitter.com/lObNrBallb
— QQ (@HeylKatme) September 10, 2022
Patrick Dempsey looks like he’s about to take over as editor-in-chief at Runway magazine pic.twitter.com/atD98fZ2qv
— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) September 9, 2022
HBO Max clumsily and ridiculously removed Beatty’s cigar from this painting so now it looks like he’s trying to flag down the wait staff. pic.twitter.com/xHNdk9lBdC
— Nathan Cone (@TPRCinema) September 10, 2022
HEAVY SIGH
This game below is fun. There are truly more worthy self-identification options than you might expect! (the replies and quote tweets are wonderful)
Tag yourself in my momβs DVDs, Iβm three copies of A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION. pic.twitter.com/mJwVlR43IE
— Clay Keller (@claykeller) September 5, 2022
and let's end with a solid reminder to always proofread the chyron!
Kenyan TV is undefeated pic.twitter.com/X5sWuEykHx
— Joel C. Sati (@realesttheorist) September 9, 2022