waterworks each weeknight at 11 pm
Be like Will Smith this week by practicing this I Robot morning routine: 8 easy steps.
1. Experience recurring dream in which you are rescued from drowning by a robot. This will be hard to do unless you're lucid dreaming, but if you're lucid dreaming take it there. Aren't lucid dreams trippy?
2. Wake up at 7:30 AM
3. Sit up in bed and massage your injuries. Will sometimes does this flesh rubbing with a loaded weapon but I would use something normal like your hand. Safer.
4. Play "Superstitious" by Stevie Wonder on your iTunes or last.fm as you...
5. Eat cold pie for breakfast*
three more steps after the jump
6. Lift dumbell a few times. Don't really commit. You have to be out the door by the time the song is over.
7. Take shower. With no shower curtain. Don't mop up after yourself as the song is almost over. [Editor's note: This movie lies. You can't eat pie for breakfast everyday and look like that naked. Take it from someone who loves pie.]
8. Don't get dressed like a normal person. Get dressed like a movie star with lucrative contractual obligations to attend to. Speaking directly to your clothes to flatter them is highly recommended. If they don't look good you don't look good...
Just 8 Easy Steps and you'll strut out of your apartment feeling like a movie star - a movie star trapped in a silly-ass movie but still... pie.