Last night at 4 AM this was the only image my brain would settle on...
I don't normally spend time in the middle of the night thinking of Fassbender lying naked in bed (Shush!). It's just that I had the worst insomnia I'd had in months. As I stared down at this still image in my state of delirious sleep deprivation I'm reasonably certain that he stared back, his eyes shifting just a little. He must have seen a mirror image of his vacant orbs and haunted zombie expressionless. Only with less handsomeness.
Brandon's addiction was sex and mine is the Oscars but either way we are powerless against our disease. Perhaps it was all the Oscar Morn Excitement catching up to me? Fassy's frozen image reminded me that I forgot to offer my condolescences to the Oscar Forgotten yesterday. Some people and cinematic contributions you'd be really happy to spend another 32 days celebrating but the time has come to say goodbye. [sniffle]
Farewell Oscar Hopeful. Better Luck Next Time
8 Snubs/Omissions That Hurt The Most
08 Melancholia Best Anything
Given that mad Dane Lars von Trier's sole nomination is in songwriting (find a more hilarious Oscar statistic, I dare you!) we never suspected that this would be an Oscar film. But the tiny scattered awards crumbs for his dreamy apocalyptic depression metaphor, arguably his best film in a decade, allowed us to pretend in a feverish bipolar sort of way that miracles would occur and it would wake up as the nomination leader. No, not really. But it's a shame that that masterful Cinematography and Kirsten Dunst's spooky narcoleptic bride won so little traction.
07 Viggo Mortensen Best Supporting Actor A Dangerous Method.
We love saying "Viggo". And he loved puffing expressively on the cigar in David Cronenberg's latest. He was the movie's MVP, perfectly serving the movie with his egoistic shifts in temperament. Plus h
06 Captain America: The First Avenger Best Visual Effects
Now we won't be able to watch Chris Evans emerge all muscle bound from his futuristic metal cocoon in all the montages of Oscar nominees.
year after year the Academy rejects the few movie songs people seem to like
05 Best Original Song.
The Music Branch is just fucking with us now. Year after year they absolutely refuse to entertain us, as if they're art film purists who scoff at the idea of "songs" altogether. In the past decade they've denied us big show moments with Cher, Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, and Moulin Rouge! on technicalities or impossibly complicated voting systems or maybe just the world's worst taste. When they do accidentally trip and land on a pretty song sung by a nobody they give it to a bigger star to mangle. This year they denied us Oscar night magic with Madonna and Mary J. Blige taking themselves super seriously, The Muppets doing a frolicsome happy number, and a 40s pastiche kick line with Captain America. The music branch of the Academy is filled with sadists. That's the only explanation. They hate the very idea of entertaining us on Oscar night. And if they don't believe in this always gratuitous category, why should we?
Memo to Academy: Fix your rules or cancel this category altogether. You can't please everyone but this is literally the only category that manages the bizarre feat of pleasing no one year after year.
04 Charlize Theron and/or Tilda Swinton Best Actress
Because they are irreplaceable on the red carpet both in terms of actual personality (they are only themselves) and style-style-style. Because they are great interview subjects. Because a lot of people really valued their work this year.
03 Maria Djurkovic Art Direction Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
I didn't understand half of this movie but my god was the production design and set decoration rich, evocative, engaging, creepy, fascinating, and tension-filled. It was just gorgeously conceived and executed, the very definition of awards worthy. If you ask me Maria Djurkovic is "Best in Show". Sorry actors!
02 Nicolas Winding Refn Best Director Drive.
Because he says crazy immensely quotable things and imagine how much more of a platform an Oscar nomination would be. Because he often brings best man Ryan Gosling around with him. But mostly because he totally deserved it.
01 Michael Fassbender Best Actor Shame.
A condolence: he'll be in another hundred movies over the next ten years.
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