By now you must have heard that horriblest of horrible news: Walter Hill is planning a remake of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Why? Why? Why? Won't Carrie 2013 be tragedy enough? But after the brief psychotic break I experienced after reading the news (I stood under an overhead light and swayed inconsolably while holding my Madonna doll) I realized that Whatever Happened to Baby Jane is really fun to enjoy in whichever way it comes to you. I love any spoof or homage. I just don't need a remake.
Luke at Journalistic Skepticism, who came up with a funny casting reunion suggestion, asked me to discuss. And I can't fight it. I readily concede that even though I don't want the film remade, it's super fun to theoretically cast.
Nick joked on twitter that Hollywood would obviously go with oldies like Charlize Theron and Reese Witherspoon which is funny because it's horrible and true. If they go older, they'll obviously offer it to Streep & Somebody. But I think you should go with 50somethings. My brilliant suggestion after the jump...
Former Oscar Nominees With Currently Underused Star Mojo
My first thought was Sharon Stone who I'd immediately shove in the wheelchair. Stone's most famous roles play on her strength so I'd victimize her. And my second abso-brilliant idea, which it took me a long time to land come to, was Jennifer Tilly as the batshit crazy former child star. She still sounds like a child but she is such a funny underused actress capable of truly great work (see: Bullets Over Broadway and Bound). They were both born in 1958 and you want people who are at least close in age.
But truth be told, if they must ressurect it, it'd be so much more awesome as a stage play starring Kathleen Turner in all of the roles like Alan Cumming's One Man Macbeth or something. Kathleen Turner is magic on stage and she prefers it to the movies. It wouldn't feel like a useless useless thing since we still have and love the original classic movie and don't need another one.
Who would you like to imagine in the roles even though nobody should ever play them again since Bette & Joan did it perfectly the first time?
Anyone else remember and love the MTV Madonna/Courtney Love Baby Jane mashup?