Cast This! "Baby Jane" the Remake That Should Never Happen But Is Fun To Theoretically Cast
Thursday, July 12, 2012 at 7:01AM By now you must have heard that horriblest of horrible news: Walter Hill is planning a remake of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Why? Why? Why? Won't Carrie 2013 be tragedy enough? But after the brief psychotic break I experienced after reading the news (I stood under an overhead light and swayed inconsolably while holding my Madonna doll) I realized that Whatever Happened to Baby Jane is really fun to enjoy in whichever way it comes to you. I love any spoof or homage. I just don't need a remake.
Luke at Journalistic Skepticism, who came up with a funny casting reunion suggestion, asked me to discuss. And I can't fight it. I readily concede that even though I don't want the film remade, it's super fun to theoretically cast.
Nick joked on twitter that Hollywood would obviously go with oldies like Charlize Theron and Reese Witherspoon which is funny because it's horrible and true. If they go older, they'll obviously offer it to Streep & Somebody. But I think you should go with 50somethings. My brilliant suggestion after the jump...
Former Oscar Nominees With Currently Underused Star Mojo
My first thought was Sharon Stone who I'd immediately shove in the wheelchair. Stone's most famous roles play on her strength so I'd victimize her. And my second abso-brilliant idea, which it took me a long time to land come to, was Jennifer Tilly as the batshit crazy former child star. She still sounds like a child but she is such a funny underused actress capable of truly great work (see: Bullets Over Broadway and Bound). They were both born in 1958 and you want people who are at least close in age.
But truth be told, if they must ressurect it, it'd be so much more awesome as a stage play starring Kathleen Turner in all of the roles like Alan Cumming's One Man Macbeth or something. Kathleen Turner is magic on stage and she prefers it to the movies. It wouldn't feel like a useless useless thing since we still have and love the original classic movie and don't need another one.
Who would you like to imagine in the roles even though nobody should ever play them again since Bette & Joan did it perfectly the first time?
Anyone else remember and love the MTV Madonna/Courtney Love Baby Jane mashup?
Reader Comments (67)
Love this idea Nat. Anything to give my darling Jennifer more juicy roles.
Okay, if it's Streep (and you're right Nat, it probably will be, and I'm fine with that-she gets camp), it has to be Glenn Close. I mean, Close and Streep have been pitted against each other for decades in a way that Crawford and Davis have been, and while they don't seem to have the animosity toward each other that Crawford and Davis did, they have been rivals of sorts since the 80's.
If not them, I think that Angela Bassett as Blanche and Alfre Woodard as Baby Jane Hudson would give two underused actresses the chance to stretch their acting muscles.
I can't even try to think of a real possible cast, although Close-Streep could be one for the ages. Knowing how Hollywood works, probably even Hayek & Cruz are too old for them. So, I'll go with the youngest and most obvious (version) for me. Lohan (ex child star) vs one of the other Disney girls: Spears or Aguilera, whomever is in rehab by then.
Or or a male version? Penn vs Day-Lewis?
Jessica Lange and Glenn Close!!!
aniston and jolie!
AAAHHHH!!! Sharon Stone is the first actress that came to my mind! Seriously.
Seriously with the (obvious) Glenn Close suggestions? Her overacting (and the reverse or whatever she was doing in the laughable ALBERT NOBBS) has made my skin crawl for the last time.
andie macdowell and kristin scott thomas so that they can have the fight they never did in four weddings. and macdowell being so bad shoould ruin the movie and we can just skip it.
I love the Close vs. Streep suggestion specially with Glenn playing Baby Jane and slapping Meryl in several scenes.
Actually I can think of many casting choices from Midler vs. Minnelli to a french version with Deneuve and Huppert directed by Ozon. Those are great roles and many of our beloved divas would ace them, but my main concern is Walter Hill. Is he the best choice? Really?
Kathleen Turner as Jane and Jessica Lange as Blanche.
Nathaniel.
what does "land come to" mean in you narrative on Jennifer Tilly?
Thanks, just confused.
Love the Jennifer Tilly and Kathleen Turner ideas. I would also endorse a Sigourney Weaver/Melanie Griffith, "Working Girl" rematch.
Julien's Turner/Lange combo seems unbeatable to me, particularly as Meryl has already done her Baby Jane in 'Death Becomes Her'.
I'm going to double up on my 'Revenge' suggestion from a couple of weeks back - Madeleine Stowe vs. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio! They are giant stars in my head...
Or... how about Patricia Clarkson and Julianne Moore? Although I'm not sure who would play who...
Maggie Smith and Judi Dench. Or Julie Walters and Brenda Blethyn.
I'm pretty sure that every single person immediately thought, "GLENN CLOSE!" or "JESSICA LANGE!" when this was first announced and probably thought "MERYL!" right after that, as is the case whenever a well-known female role that isn't Katniss Everdeen suddenly becomes available. And sure, that would be pretty amazing and I'd have to watch it in simultaneous viewings for the entirety of its run in theaters. But I really hope they get a little more creative with the casting then just merely casting scary "types" (Close, Lange) or proven legends who get roles that really would be more fitting in someone else's hands (Meryl as Violet Weston will probably be terrific but wouldn't it have been neat to see Annette Bening or Barbara Hershey or even someone atypical like Sissy Spacek?). I kind of get Viola Davis' terrific/terrifying Nurse Ratched portrait in the Hollywood Reporter's Oscar issue. Wouldn't that be interesting? Sure, she's a little young but I'd love to see a side of Viola that no directors or casting directors seem to be interested in tapping into.
hey, nat
what about Hilary swank VS The Bening!!!!!!!!!!
med - typo. clearly i type too fast
* kind of can't get
outside the box idea:
Who would pay to see RUPAUL and HELENA BONHAM CARTER duke it out??
LOL
goldie hawn as baby jane
Around the time of her Oscar win it seems to me Melissa Leo was promoting a script about the making of "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane". That's what I'd prefer to see rather than a remake. With Leo as Joan Crawford and Susan Sarandon as Bette.
enough with streep - give someone else a chance. ann-margret (wheel chair) &...BBF Bring Back Faye!
I think Drew Barrymore (Blanche) and Jessica Lange (Baby Jane) should do it, thus riffing on their Grey Gardens roles.
I don't really want this movie made at all but if they're going to, I think Fiona Shaw and Jennifer Tilly would be great choices for it...
everytime I see her I think Baby Jane..and she has the acting chops to do it....
Jackie Weaver.
@Peggy Sue: the French version idea is BRILLIANT. Sadism becomes Isabelle Huppert.
Streep and Close all the way!!! All of theses suggestions are wonderful but Hollywood still needs to make money off the film :)
Actually, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane already has a remake with Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103242/
How 'bout Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland. I bet they could do a re-tread of "Baby Jane" that's also as good.
El gives me a great idea: go real old and cast Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine.
Brilliant casting, Nat. Now, I want to see it with them.
Wasn't the original enough of a campfest to inflict upon the world? Now we need seconds? PASS.
( . . . but if they cast any combo of Meryl/Sissy/Glenn/Sigourney/Jessica/Sally/Annette in this, you know my ass willl be up in there opening night, cuz, you know).
David -- I WOULD.
par -- GOLDIE HAWN! now there's an idea.
Ken -- wha???? that sounds marvelous and you're right. That'd be so much better than a remake. Especially if they can throw enough money at Faye Dunaway to get her to cave for the she-would-never-do-it reprise of Joan Crawford.
I hope it never happens ... you cannot remake a classic and make it work.
Streep/Jane
Lange/Blanche
You could at least lie and say you did it because *I* asked you to do it... Make me feel important ;)
I love the French & Saunders spoof which is in the related videos.
I can't believe I didn't think of Jessica Lange! She would be perfect as either one of the sisters.
And Tilly is a great suggestion!
Maybe Sophia Lauren as Blanche?
I think the Liza suggestion is pretty brilliant actually. In real life she seems as though she's hanging by a thread to sanity, and yet still a trooper. Isn't that sort of what the role requires? Serious self-delusion?
Kathleen & Sharon just seem too strong for the roles.
Let's see, who can equal Liza in star power and desperation and falling off the tracks? How about Faye Dunaway?
It's going to be Meryl Streep. And Meryl Streep.
The Olsen twins.
I see no good reason for a remake but my first thought was Susan Sarandon as Jane and Faye Dunaway as Blanche but while Susie would probably be game I doubt that Faye would touch it with a ten foot pole. A shame since her career has fallen to such woeful depths.
They'd never cast her but Karen Black would be an awesome Jane with Gena Rowlands as Blanche or dream of dreams Kim Novak and Ann-Margret!
I wont see it unless glenn plays jane. The idea of meryl as jane is just boring.
Dave --- agreed. I'm all about Liza now for this. Though if they made it into a real musical even better because then there WOULD be a reason to remake it, a different interpretation, you know? So I say LIZA & SHIRLEY or something like that.
If they adapt it into a musical, I'm on board. Otherwise, what's the point? The story is such a product of the time--it hinges on Vaudeville and studio exclusive contracts--that any updates would render it pointless.
Yes! A musical makes sense, and they could go either movie or stage (and the way these things go, it will go back and forth several times). Let's just hope it doesn't end up as a TV movie musical with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Minnie Driver.
Okay, Liza yes, and Shirley could play crazy too. I can see Shirley or Debbie Reynolds or someone in that wheelchair, but talk about going old! Hollywood probably won't stand for that.
Of course Barbra would be brilliant, but good luck with that. She sees herself as a believable morther of Baby June!
Faye Dunaway and Jane Fonda- you could use clips from their old movies.
Still going with the impossible pairings, but that would look great in character on a Vanity Fair cover : Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine.
I want to see all of these movies. I propose an omnibus "recreation" (like Psycho 98 mixed with Paris Je T'Aime) where every 10 minutes the cast and director changes!
Cher and Barbara (gay pick)
or
Wiest and Turner (blonds have more fun)
or
Goldberg and Oprah (Blanchette could play the nurse)
@ Ken, there has also been a stage play about the making of Baby Jane. Greta Sacchi played Bette. Its called Bette and Joan (original title I know)
I love the idea of Jacki Weaver!
steolicious. --- CHERRRRRRR . I repeat my comment. I want to see all of these movies, so long as they're not a remake.
SOmeone hit it on the money... GOLDIE HAWN ....ad baby jane and my person al pic being Michelle Pfeiffer.....GOD LET IT BE PFEIFFER