You should play this song while reading this post.
We haven't seen Uma Thu --- no seriously. People. Click play on that song while reading this post.
Ready? okay good. Hum along while you gaze at the pretty pictures of Uma Thurman. Sure you're listening to a more Pfeifferesque theme but it's still appropriate as you'll soon see.
We haven't seen Uma in so long! Mysteriously her career kind of fizzled out post double-hitting Kill Bill, Volumes 1 and 2, which you'd think would have restored her luster for non-Tarantino filmmakers but instead led to things like My Super Ex Girlfriend (oops). Still, there's hope for a third act what with her "Mrs H" role in Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac coming. And she's still presumably raking in the big bucks for gigs like the one which has prompted this post, modelling for Campari for their 2014 calendar shot by Koto Bolofo (first spotted at Tom & Lorenzo), which thematically invokes celebrations around the world.
I don't know what all the celebrations are but since TFE has such a strong international readership I trust you'll tell us in the comments.
Let's gawk at all twelve months of this calendar girl
I assume this one's for Chinese New Year which falls on January 31st in 2014 but it makes me think of Claudette Colbert's Cleopatra. Love Uma with black hair.
February for...?
March in Mardi Gras... (March 4th in New Orleans in 2014) though shouldn't she have been flashing her tits, if just for the Dangerous Liaisons audience-gasping memories?
April. This kimono needs more blood splatter... and Lucy Liu's scalp should be in her left hand.
I'll be yours in springtime when the flowers are in bloom.
We'll wander through the meadows, in all their sweet perfume.
And every night I'll hold you tight beneath that April moon.
May. This dress is by Vicky Martin Berrocal who I hope loves the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona
June at some sort of ungodly Chrome Stonehenge
Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh
I'll be your girl for all seasons, all the year through.
July. A lost scene from Life of Pi. Uma is about to be devoured by a CGI tiger and become a bioluminescent ghost
August but I wish this was June since it reminds me of Henry & June what with the Month's name and the girl on girl dancing
September. A throne in a clawfoot bathtub that's also a boat under a chandelier. WHY NOT!?
If you fall in the fall, you'll see, September can be heavenly.
October might be my favorite. Love those painted skulls and the Zac Posen gown. Can we see Uma as a guest judge on Project Runway please?
November. Delightful.
December. This image makes me think of that gorgeous scene from Rachel Getting Married, you know the one, only photoshopped and animatronic instead of real and human.
Girl for all seasons, I'll be your girl for all seasons.
Summer in sunshine, winter in snowflakes.
Springtime in showers, falling in love.
Summer, winter, spring, and fall
Yes, I'll be everything to you.