Uma. She'll Be Your Girl For All Seasons...
Thursday, November 14, 2013 at 11:59PM 
You should play this song while reading this post.
We haven't seen Uma Thu --- no seriously. People. Click play on that song while reading this post.
Ready? okay good. Hum along while you gaze at the pretty pictures of Uma Thurman. Sure you're listening to a more Pfeifferesque theme but it's still appropriate as you'll soon see.
We haven't seen Uma in so long! Mysteriously her career kind of fizzled out post double-hitting Kill Bill, Volumes 1 and 2, which you'd think would have restored her luster for non-Tarantino filmmakers but instead led to things like My Super Ex Girlfriend (oops). Still, there's hope for a third act what with her "Mrs H" role in Lars von Trier's Nymphomaniac coming. And she's still presumably raking in the big bucks for gigs like the one which has prompted this post, modelling for Campari for their 2014 calendar shot by Koto Bolofo (first spotted at Tom & Lorenzo), which thematically invokes celebrations around the world.
I don't know what all the celebrations are but since TFE has such a strong international readership I trust you'll tell us in the comments.
Let's gawk at all twelve months of this calendar girl
I assume this one's for Chinese New Year which falls on January 31st in 2014 but it makes me think of Claudette Colbert's Cleopatra. Love Uma with black hair.
February for...?
March in Mardi Gras... (March 4th in New Orleans in 2014) though shouldn't she have been flashing her tits, if just for the Dangerous Liaisons audience-gasping memories?
April. This kimono needs more blood splatter... and Lucy Liu's scalp should be in her left hand.
I'll be yours in springtime when the flowers are in bloom.
We'll wander through the meadows, in all their sweet perfume.
And every night I'll hold you tight beneath that April moon.
May. This dress is by Vicky Martin Berrocal who I hope loves the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona
June at some sort of ungodly Chrome Stonehenge
Ahhh Ahhh Ahhh
I'll be your girl for all seasons, all the year through.
July. A lost scene from Life of Pi. Uma is about to be devoured by a CGI tiger and become a bioluminescent ghost
August but I wish this was June since it reminds me of Henry & June what with the Month's name and the girl on girl dancing
September. A throne in a clawfoot bathtub that's also a boat under a chandelier. WHY NOT!?
If you fall in the fall, you'll see, September can be heavenly.
October might be my favorite. Love those painted skulls and the Zac Posen gown. Can we see Uma as a guest judge on Project Runway please?
November. Delightful.
December. This image makes me think of that gorgeous scene from Rachel Getting Married, you know the one, only photoshopped and animatronic instead of real and human.
Girl for all seasons, I'll be your girl for all seasons.
Summer in sunshine, winter in snowflakes.
Springtime in showers, falling in love.
Summer, winter, spring, and fall
Yes, I'll be everything to you.
Reader Comments (10)
I started the Grease song and stopped it because it was unlistenable.
Is this post meant to be a pity party or a celebration? It feels like a vague combination of both. We really should change how we discuss the maltreatment of American actresses. Instead of posting pictures and writing how much we miss them or Hollywood didn't utilize them properly. We should celebrate each casting announcement they have whether its for theater, television, or film. And let's not criticize young actresses booking the mother roles. Searching for Debra Winger laid it out bare. Work is work whether it's something that will garner awards attention or maximum visibility. Actresses we care about booking work is what matters.
Uma is the number 1 reason I'm excited for Nympho, and I usually don't need any reason to be excited for LVT. I hope she gets enough to do in it.
If this calendar teaches us nothing else, it's that we need her to attend more oscar ceremonies because I want to see her in more oscar dresses.
I cringed at the black woman they decided to use as a prop in February.
The Mrs H poster looks like Uma to me, the rest look like Shannon Tweed (circa 1985) or Cameron Diaz.
I like Uma, I ever liked in on Smash. Certainly join in wishing she had more work.
@Hayden W--Right? She might as well have been a lamp...
Love Uma. Love that insane song from Grease 2. Will probably see Nymphomaniac, but my Von Trier distaste is strong and it can be prohibitive, so we'll see. Gonna need more whoring bed Uma and less Shia in any form to get me into the theater.
TB -- given that it's 5 hours long there will probably be plenty of each
the single thing that worked on "SMASH" was Uma's character and arc. it was consistent, it was campy, it was REAL and TRUE to the scene, and it was a fucking blast. if only the whole show had lived up to the promise of that character, writing, and performance. even her limited song and dance abilities were utilized well.
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