Golden Globe Winners: That Damn Bear Movie and the Martian Surge. 
Sunday, January 10, 2016 at 8:51PM
NATHANIEL R in Best Picture, Golden Globes, Jonah Hill, Lady Gaga, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ricky Gervais, The Martian, The Revenant, Twitter

Technical issues with my TV and my phone and my computer tonight?  -- someone did some voodoo on TFE for the booziest Hollywood party this year! They suck but their timing is pure evil genius so we bow down. Obviously there will be a bit more Globes tomorrow but for tonight, a quick list of winners, super brief thoughts and amusing tweets after the jump...

We kick off with an image of an unfunny joke because it's so emblematic of the evening both because the jokes were terrible. (Ricky Gervais is the worst. And somehow he is popular enough to keep bringing back) 

See there's a bear in the Revenant so Jonah Hill obviously thought was hi-lar-ious to wear a bear hoodie and claim to be the bear from the Revenant. Doesn't Jonah Hill know that the bear is is female? The surprise surge of The Revenant tonight -- which everyone (including me) thought was not in the race to win much beyond Leonardo Dicaprio's Best Survivor in a Motion Picture trophy made this fairly innocuous tweet hours before the show started from the parody account Revenant Bear look eerily prescient after the fact...

 

me coming for ur golden globes. (also just woke up) pic.twitter.com/PD6XC8J8eY

— Bear (@RevenantBear) January 10, 2016

 

I mean seriously. Did anyone predict this movie to win the most prizes tonight? 

Or no, possibly this tweet was the most prescient of the night

 

Realizing you have 3 more hours of Ricky Gervais like #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/mv8NDNI5Ns

— Joel Pavelski (@joelcifer) January 11, 2016

 

Because Ricky Gervais. Ugh. (I said this already. Moving on...)

This awards season has been wildly strange. At first Spotlight looked like a quiet frontrunner with The Martian as threatening populist alternative. Then suddenly female driven masterworks Carol and Mad Max: Fury Road started making bold moves for critical dominance (as well they should) with Spotlight kinda sorta holding them off. Then it the guilds were all but what about Trumbo and Straight Outta Compton and The Big Short. And Brooklyn and Room kept standing in the room but were knocked over again and again... like what are they still doing here? (clue: they've very good pictures). And now ... The Revenant? And maybe back to The Martain again. Each week we have to rethink everything.

That's healthy but it's also... strange. Because usually consensus is a mighty force that has no time for you personal feelings about "bests" It wants one or two pictures to take everything!

FILM 

Picture, Drama The Revenant
Picture, Comedy
The Martian
Director
 Inarittu, The Revenant

 

THE REVENANT thinks it chaws tobaccah when it actually vapes

— Jordan Hoffman (@jhoffman) January 11, 2016

When was the last time a film as bad as THE REVENANT won best picture over films as good as CAROL and MAD MAX?

— amir soltani (@amiresque) January 11, 2016

Just realised what a trick they missed by not having Lady Gaga present Best Director. "And the winner is... Alejandro, Alejandro, Ale-Ale-Al

— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) January 11, 2016

“pain is temporary but film is forever.” - Iñárritu on the running time of his movies.

— Nathaniel Rogers (@nathanielr) January 11, 2016

 

 

 

 

Actor, Comedy  Matt Damon, The Martian
Actress, Comedy Jennier Lawrence, Joy
 

Actor, Drama Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant
Actress, Drama Brie Larson, Room

 

Leo, tonight pic.twitter.com/WmacO2NTj6

— robot face emoji (@weaselingaround) January 11, 2016

Leo: "...my friends, you know who you are..." pic.twitter.com/Mgrf6FTAvb

— Laura Benanti (@LauraBenanti) January 11, 2016

When Winslet and Hathaway were hungry for awards they were trashed for wanting it. But when Leo is hungry for awards, he "deserves" it.

— Dancin Dan on Film (@dancindanonfilm) January 11, 2016

“And thank you to anyone I forgot. I’ll send you a thank you card." ::kiss:: I love you Brie Larson.

— Manuel (@bmanuel) January 11, 2016

TODD HAYNES JUST KISSED BRIE LARSON CAN THEY WORK TOGETHER?!

— John Oursler (@JMOursler) January 11, 2016

 

 


Supporting Actor Sylvester Stallone, Creed
Supporting Actress
Kate Winslet, Steve Jobs
Screenplay Aaron Sorkin, Steve Jobs
Animated Film Inside Out
Foreign Film Son of Saul, Hungary
Original Score
Ennio Morricone, The Hateful Eight 
Original Song Sam Smith, "Writings on the Wall" from Spectre 

 

If Inside Out was about a little gay boy, his emotions would've been all the actors Lady Gaga thanked

— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) January 11, 2016

Let me just take this moment to remind everyone that you are all wrong about Creed, it's a garbage movie pic.twitter.com/IiKW4qKIs5

— Jason Adams (@JAMNPP) January 11, 2016

Did "Carol" have a score, or did Cate Blanchett simply arrive on set and violins started playing? #GoldenGlobes

— Louis Virtel (@louisvirtel) January 11, 2016

 

 

 

 

TELEVISION

Drama Series Mr Robot
Comedy Series Mozart in the Jungle
Miniseries  Wolf Hall
Actor in Musical/Comedy Series
Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart in the Jungle
Actress in Musical/Comedy Series
  Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
Actor in Drama Series
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Actress in Drama Series
Taraji P Henson, Empire 

Supporting Actor in Series, Limited Series  Christian Slater, Mr Robot
Supporting Actress in Series, Limited Series
 Maura Tierney, The Affair
Actor in Limited Series or Movie Oscar Isaac, Show Me a Hero
Actress in Limited Series or Movie Lady Gaga, American Horror Story: Hotel

 

Lady Gaga. always copying Madonna .

— Nathaniel Rogers (@nathanielr) January 11, 2016
 

Watch Leonardo DiCaprio react to a woman older than 25 https://t.co/6WJNtUj7WF

— Joel Pavelski (@joelcifer) January 11, 2016

 

AND FINALLY...

A special shout out to the bitchiest but truest diss of the night via Erik Childress...

 

Somewhere right now someone is furiously changing the names inside the envelopes for the Critics Choice Awards. #BFCA #GoldenGlobes

— Erik Childress (@EriktheMovieman) January 11, 2016

 

Article originally appeared on The Film Experience (http://thefilmexperience.net/).
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