We just wanted the blog post title to sound fancy. Who knows if the screening/meeting/deliberation at the Academy was anything like a superlative adventure this year? But let it suffice to say that they narrowed down some unknown number of films (why no semi-finals list, AMPAS?) to seven films which will compete for the 3 Oscar nominations in Best Makeup and Hairstyling.
Those films, with photos to jog your memories, are after the jump with some commentaries about their specific follicular and beautifying achievements...
You look like an avocado had sex with an older more disgusting avocado -- not gently, like it was hate-fucking. There was something wrong with the relationship and that was the only catharsis that they could find without violence.
Deadpool
Achievements: Mildy melted scarface whilst maintaining basic Ryan Reynolds symmetrical hotness, burnt everything including penis (one can assume prosthetic), numerous exploding heads and maimed body parts (classy!) and various effects like those memorable baby hands (one can assume both CG and prosthetic)
The Dressmaker
Achievements: Mastering both Beauty AND anti-beauty techniques: Kate Winslet is ultra-dolled up whilst she hottifies Sarah Snook, whilst Judy Davis is uglified as a shut-in without health care or a dental plan for decades.
Florence Foster Jenkins
Achievement: WIGS and more WIGS plus period hair
Hail, Caesar!
Achievement: Old Hollywood glamour with farcical twisting
A Man Called Ove
No comment as we haven't yet screened but it seems like one foreign film usually sneaks into the bakeoffs to everyone's surprise.
Star Trek Beyond
Achievements: Idris Elba in various states of transformation (oops, spoiler alert), pointy ears and ridge faces (it's Star Trek!) plus the very cool look of supporting actress Sofia Boutella (pictured above)
Suicide Squad
Achievements: craploads of crappy characters dutifully styled up because something to look at is the only thing that saves the movie from utter unwatchability. From the annoying overworked rethink of The Joker to the far more successful hot mess style and makeup of Harley Quinn, and probably that Killer Croc guy to give the prosthetics team lots of work to do.
SURPRISE OMISSION
We really thought Hacksaw Ridge would get a nomination in this department but for maybe the first time in recent memory these voters seem to have leaned more heavily towards films with a lot of wig work rather than prosthetic heavy-lifting... albeit in ther service of war gore here.
LESS SURPRISING OMISSIONS BUT WHY AREN'T THEY THERE?
No Jackie which has awesome 60s wig and style recreations?
No Doctor Strange which has all that funky eye cracking caving into extra dimensional portals plus the goatee--oh, never mind I get it.
No Legend of Tarzan with a makeup team working so hard to powder and soak and detail Alexander Skarsgard's bare fle--- uh, excuse me where were we. Oh yes, Best Makeup and HairStyling.
No Miles Ahead for Don Cheadle's Miles Davis fro?
No barely-living pilgrims in The Witch?
No ultra glammed up Brad & Marion in Allied?
Etc...
P.S. ANNUAL GRIPE
Now is that moment where we shame the Academy about their terrible treatment of Makeup and Hairstylist craftspeople. Seriously, get right with yourselves! Every single live action film uses this department so why do they only get three nominations when literally every other Oscar category now gets five? That is a special kind of second class citizen bullshit. Especially since there are departments / skills not really used by every single live action film (hello song composition!) that still get five-slots.