Nick Taylor and Cláudio Alves are following and recapping RuPaul’s Drag Race season sixteen. This week, it’s time for episode eleven…
CLÁUDIO: It gives me no pleasure to say it, but there’s no denying what’s so self-evident - this was the season’s worst episode so far. “Corporate Queens” is already a dicey proposition based on its maxi-challenge format, which tries to recapture some of that Drag Con magic from season 10 while also declaring itself the season’s stand-up show. Make up your mind! Add to that a bevy of mediocre performances and nonsensical judging left and right. To make things worse, the behind-the-scenes team has explicitly forced the edit around one queen’s story, only to pull the rug from under her at the eleventh hour. While it provides a strong candidate for face crack of the century, it’s also a good way to sour the viewer’s experience. The lipsync was good, I guess. Still, a flop.
NICK: Mama, kudos for saying that. For spilling . . . .
This was a mess! You already said everything messy and underwhelming about this challenge, which is such a goddamn weird thing to make the queens perform in the first place. I get that Drag Race is decidedly not the real world, but to have a guest judge even say to a queen that they probably won’t have to do anything like this in the future . . . . then why do it! I get putting the queens through the ringer as designers, performers, comediennes, etc, but why have them prove if they can host a board meeting?
There is one part of this episode I unambiguously loved, but first we have to get through the opening mess. Less Morphine sulking and stealing Sapphira’s wig, though her disappointment is certainly a clear through-line of the episode. But Dawn antagonizing Plane about her absolutely belonging in the bottom two for her mediocre performance and mediocre gown, only for Plane to blow up at her, is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Dawn has stated on Twitter that she had a lot to say back at Plane during this tirade makes me wish we could’ve properly seen this catfight. To steal a line from Will Kellogg, the funniest thing about Plane continues to be that she seemingly cannot take even a modicum of what she tries dishing out to other people. As much as her villain edit has mellowed out, she’s still not pleasant TV.
But the best part of the episode? Why, it’s right after this, as the queens play the now-annual Spill the Tea mini-game. This is so much fun! I cannot believe how entertaining it was to watch them poke fun and prove how well they really know each other (or know themselves). I’m glad all of them won money, too. Sapphira and her beautiful face win the challenge, and isn’t it lovely how all the queens say she’d be the best tipper? What a wonderful woman.
CLÁUDIO: She is MOTHER, and Plane is pressed. The juxtaposition of her delusion with Mama Cristál’s self-awareness is delicious, but such pleasures won’t last long in this cursed episode. After the winnings are announced—there’s a fantastic flub where Ru almost promises over a million dollars as prize—it’s time for the “Drag Awareness Month” maxi and some team-building assigned by our host.
Q and Plane pair up as the white chicks in white T-shirts, looking like they are the unfashionable trade that wandered into the set for the makeover challenge. Thankfully, they get along like a house on fire and their personal stories are fairly endearing. Imagining Plane making the case for her drag career with a PowerPoint presentation to her mother is oddly cute coming from the Bostonian Menace. Next, we have Mhi’ya and Dawn as an unlikely duo where the Miami girl feels utterly lost. If I were that Elf twink, I’d be shaking in my boots because there’s no way she’ll be able to pull her partner into the funny business. After Dawn comes to the inexplicable conclusion she should be the straight man to Mhi’ya’s messy clown, you can practically see a shadow of failure over them.
Finally, the remaining three girls form the week’s oversized team. We know Sapphira and Nymphia can work well together, and the Philly sensation exudes the air of confidence one would expect from a great host, but Morphine seems at odds with her costars. From past challenge performances, I trust her professionalism. Nevertheless, the edit is forcing uncertainty on her - alarm bells start ringing in my head! The Banana Buddha is also an anxious mess, though that’s to be expected at this point. Since she’s done well in past comedy challenges, Snatch Game aside, there’s little to indicate this will be a complete flop. Indeed, this storyline is starting to feel repetitive even as Nymphia’s nerves feel more genuine with each passing episode.
All of these observations are apparent from the bitches’ brainstorming sessions and become further consolidated once this week’s special guest judge Joel Kim Booster stops by to dish some advice.
NICK: I can almost get Dawn’s strategizing, on the grounds of giving herself the larger role so Mhi’ya has less to do. But then, they’re writing the sketch, so how do we balance it fairly anyways? But maybe there’s no good route to showcase Mhi’ya? But could it have been handled better? But where’s Kermit? So many questions. So many multiverses.
I’ll say this, I really like Dawn’s premise. All three groups actually have pretty good concepts, within the terms of this fairly odd challenge. Joel Kim Booster gives the girls pretty constructive advice, - a cruel bait-and-switch for the quality of the judging to come - and they try their best to take it to heart.
Michelle then announces the runway theme is “DragCon 1980”, and as elimination day approaches the queens are a bundle of nerves, for better and worse. Dawn has learned the lip sync song, and firmly believes she can beat Mhi’ya if need be. Still, the most memorable part of their pre-show kiki is when Q tells Plane that she’s been HIV+ positive for over two years. It’s a very poignant moment, which Plane somehow makes slightly absurd as she tries to comfort Q with the now endlessly memed line “Mama, kudos for saying that. For spilling . . . .” I started this write-up with. Q’s really letting herself be vulnerable here, even if the production around this confession feels a bit heavy.
In no time at all, the challenge begins, with Plane and Q going first. I thought they were fine? Plane’s comic timing is better than Q’s, who continues to approach the comedy challenges in basically the same way. Would have loved the clips/slides joke more if Katya hadn’t done it first. Their presentation on the historical presence of drag, largely illustrated by claiming several former Presidents and founding fathers were drag queens with on names, feels like it falls into the same debate about “dumb” drag comedy Bob the Drag Queen brought up around Plane at the premiere. Sure, it’s kinda funny, and maybe I’m the stick in the mud for not loving “Baberaham Stinkin’”, but I didn’t really care? The best parts of the bit were whenever Plane and Q started flirting with each other. They had good chemistry, and they really knew how to use the PowerPoint as punctuation for their jokes, but this was not it for me.
CLÁUDIO: I thought Plane did fairly well within the material’s constraints - like you, I didn’t find it that funny - but Q floundered. Everyone online saying she should have won has thrown me for a loop, since the girl’s delivery could use extensive tinkering. It’s a complaint I’ve been repeating every episode, but it seems like the master seamstress’ idea of comedy doesn’t go beyond shouting. There’s no finesse in her work, monotone rather than modulated, even if the lines come out smoothly and without hiccups. It’s solid and boring, almost grating after a while. She’s not terrible, but I fail to see the excellence others do.
Next come Dawn and Mhi’ya and it’s a catastrophe from beginning to end. More accurately, it begins when the Miami queen joins her colleague on stage because, for her part, Miss Elf on the Shelf acquits herself nicely. Watching them was like reliving the night Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosted the Oscars. Like the Queen of Genovia, Dawn is quite good, but her work strains to make up for what Mhi’ya lacks. So much so that, by the end, watching her is mortifying rather than funny. We’re there with her, trapped under the limelight, desperate to make the unworkable work.
NICK: Dawn did pretty well, which bums me out given the circumstances. Am I crazy to think that had she been forced to werk the stage on her own like Marcia Marcia Marcia did last season, she might have topped for this? She gets the right air of kooky professionalism, and she looks great. Mhi’ya makes a great entrance, running onstage in a huff and dropping several sheets of paper, but the second she stumbles it’s all gone.
Last but certainly not least are Morphine, Nymphia, and Sapphira, and they announce themselves as best in show almost as soon as they begin their presentation. They look the part, with their businesswoman glasses and smart business suits, though Morphine’s is a little less classy. But their charisma as a team is really special, and their comic timing is the best of any group. Sapphira, in particular, makes a great impression, not just for recovering from a momentary flub but for the showmanship she gives throughout. Morphine makes a similar fumble, and after rizzing herself she gets back on track with the set. Nymphia cements herself in a dubious, challenge-winning Drag Race lineage alongside Manila Luzon and Plastique Tiara, utilizing a heavy East Asian accent as her primary character detail.
CLÁUDIO: Nymphia’s schtick left me and everyone on the judges’ panel uncomfortable, but I also don’t think it’s necessarily legitimate to criticize her for the choice. As an immigrant from Taiwan, it seems in her right to play and maybe subvert the stereotypes projected unto her. Moreover, the show has a history of praising queens who go this route, so it’s not like she had any indication that it was a wrong approach for Drag Race. And it’s not like drag as an art form as ever shied away from transgressive humor verging on offensive.
That aspect aside, she aced the brief down to the styling. As a matter of fact, Bananrama and the Righteous Gemstone were so coordinated that Morphine couldn’t help but feel out of place. Not enough to warrant a bottom placement, but still. Performance-wise, Miss Dion Love was charismatic as ever, recovering from her flub with as much grace as Sapphira. However, nobody compares to that Philadelphia Princess in terms of timing, delivery, and sheer stage presence. Like last week, she buldozzed through this challenge, but not so emphatically that the trio didn’t work as a consolidated comedic unit. As far as I’m concerned, they should have been judged as a team. But more on that later.
After that performance, it’s time for the runway and this episode’s theme is irritating me to no end. Category is… Drag Con 1980! That said, the prompt was clearly just “1980s,” making the queens go for references way past the specific date in the category’s name. Why not call it “Drag Con: 80s Style” or something? I’m sorry, I know this is nitpicky as fuck but I can’t help my pedant ways. To quote a brilliant 1980s film, “it’s beyond my control.”
Plane Jane is first on the runway, serving a pantsuit so ugly it’s sorta circles back into greatness. Love the styling, and even the breastplate’s good for once. The skintones finally match! It only took eleven episodes.
NICK: She looks plucked straight from season 5’s Eighties businesswoman realness runway. The choker’s a bit distracting as a device to hide her breastplate crease, but maybe I’m just looking to ding her. Especially compared to her last several runways, this is a strong outing, working that glam/sham dichotomy she brought to her premiere runway to even better results.
Q follows suit, in another business woman fantasy defined by Keith Haring and AIDs activism of the ‘80s. It’s a really smart concept, with simple lines offset by the Haring-inspired patterns and the brilliant red of the AIDs ribbon neckline/ribbon garment. The white and gray color scheme with that hard red tilts this a bit into Cruella De Ville territory for me, but paired with her revelation that she’s HIV positive, Q could not have designed this look to be more impactful as A Moment. Also, she’s wearing hair on the runway again!! And she wore hair in the challenge, too! Finally, versatility.
CLÁUDIO: I keep thinking I might have liked it better without the red cuffs and another skirt sillouette. Still, what’s here is remarkable stuff, and the styling is impeccable, from full circle spitcurl to polkadotted matching set of gloves and tights. While her challenge performance left me unmoved, this look is a return to form for this runway queen.
Like many a Dawn look, this outfit is on the threshold of too much. And yet, it kinda works this time around. The stretch velour leotard is an unexpected touch and the mullet wig is a riot. Also, Michelle should be pleased - no elf ears in sight. No ears at all, actually. I guess Dawn took the Buzz Lightyear praise to heart.
NICK: I don’t quite love her excess here, which reads as sorta hodge-podge despite apparently calling on a very specific fashion reference. I could get lost staring at almost any closed-off part of this outfit, but as a whole some of the many clashing fabrics and patterns get a bit lost. Still, I’m impressed she tried to translate her Brooklyn goblin aesthetic to this era. It’s a gutsy choice, and I agree that the mullet is a highlight.
Mhi’ya Iman Le'Paige has stated this was one of five runway looks that a designer failed to provide her before she hopped on the plane to LA. The outfit she presented is a last-minute substitute for that missing piece, and I’m not sure how comfortable I feel being harsh towards a queen desperately trying to stuff her suitcase at 4am. Still, her claim in her confessional that she Googled “DragCon 1980” and saw this does not inspire joy. I don’t see anything ‘80s-specific in this emerald green bodysuit, but the Patti LaBelle hair is a knockout, and her mug is stunning. Great show from the neck up.
CLÁUDIO: I hate to see an AI-generated design on the Drag Race runway. Its origin is so upsetting as to render me too irate to really appreciate whatever merit it might have. I’ll say this - the color is good and the wig is a technically impressive reconstruction of the digital reference. Between the long earrings and shoulder rosettes, Mhi’ya really loves to make herself look neck-less.
Sapphira Cristál needed no AI to make this perfectly 80s look. The style reference is there, the runway presentation is on point, and even the clunky drag jewelry feels coherent with the whole vision. Bravissima! The way everything bounces, from wig to skirt, is so pleasing to me, not sure why. Maybe it’s the sense of joy she exudes.
NICK: Her joy is so palpable and infectious. I love that she looks so dainty in this outfit. I don’t even think I have any words for this runway you didn’t already say. What an achievement.
I honestly like Morphine Love Dion’s runway, which could almost pass for Dolly Parton chic if the hair and/or the biddies were tigger. It’s basic, but she looks good and passably ‘80s. Solid deployment of the BBL.
CLÁUDIO: Maybe because this episode came out in the same day as UK vs the World’s “Business in the Front, Party in the Back” runway, I felt underwhelmed by the reveal. Indeed, all of this is underwhelming and, unlike you, I don’t think it reads especially 80s beyond. I can’t help but wonder if the original wig would have pulled it together.
Finally, Nymphia Wind is serving some Grace Jones eleganza with this hommage to the star’s Vamps getup. This is an inspired twist on it, avoiding a literal copy by making a bizarre frock out of Keith Haring’s bodypaint designs. It seems this Taiwanese queen never misses when it comes to fashion, and no, it’s not always yellow.
NICK: Nymphia looks exquisite, taking some very specific references and making them utterly her own on this runway. I’m honestly surprised more queens didn’t lean on film references - if any drag queens are reading this, we need a Shelley Duvall series. It’d have to include the ‘70s, though Popeye and The Shining alone should offer plenty.
After this, the queens reconvene for the judging, and it’s a doozy. First, a compliment: Joel Kim Booster looks hot as fuck. Gorgeous. Good for her. Anyways! Why the fuck are they judging the queens individually? They presented in teams, their camaraderie with their teammate(s) is part of the challenge rubric, allegedly. So why are they being evaluated individually! It’s bonkers and I hate it.
I cannot pretend to be shocked that the judges liked Plane and Q, though the degree of love is shocking. I also feel profoundly cynical about Q re-revealing her HIV diagnosis on the main stage. Maybe it’s just the production surrounding this scene, but it feels like a blatant setup for a coronation. What was so disastrous about Morphine acknowledging her flub before immediately getting back on track that it put her in the bottom two, while Sapphira silently collecting herself is a sign of professionalism? The whole panel is comfortable admitting they don’t know if they can judge Nymphia’s accent schtick, even as they praise her timing and presentation. Their praise for Dawn holding a sinking ship afloat alongside their tacit pity for Mhi’ya is at least expected, and their rubric for that isn’t quite as insane as how they judge the other groups. But you’d think they’d be harsher on Dawn for not saving her partner, yeah?
CLÁUDIO: Here’s the thing - Dawn tried her best to fix an impossible situation, but her best wasn’t enough. I feel that, just by virtue of the teams format, both she and Mhi’ya deserved to lipsync for their lives against each other. The gymnastics the panel had to go through to justify putting Morphine in that position were insane to me, as was the praise for Q and Plane. It is exceedingly clear which queens production finds disposable and which ones they want to protect at all costs.
Nevertheless, if they were going to give the win to just one bitch, they chose the right one. Sapphira gets her third victory of the season while Q serves bitterness on the main stage. These queens are human, and we shouldn’t begrudge their disappointment, especially as the behind-the-scenes arrangements were clearly centered on Q. She got the narrative push with her status disclosure, unequivocal praise without a single negative critique, and her husband’s video message backstage in Untucked. If I were her, I’d also think the win was mine. So, no shade toward the bitch’s gagged expression. That being said, it makes for some hilarious reality TV nonsense. Folks wanted to declare Loosey the new Jan last year, but Miss Q is the real heir to the sourpuss Broadway Baby.
NICK: Q watched Loosey struggle with how bitter she can allow herself to be on TV and decided she would not face those inhibitions. I do love her honesty, and how often we’ve seen cutaways this season to queens being gagged when the judges name winners or throw critiques or declare folks safe. Last week Dawn and Nymphia dropping their jaws when Ru said Plane was outshined by Nymphia? Exquisite. Everyone gagging when Sapphira didn’t win Snatch Game? Beautiful. I’ve ragged on Q for being a sore loser and a sore winner, but the candor is appreciated.
Sapphira’s win is very deserved, and I wish Nymphia and Morphine had won with her. Instead, Morphine lip syncs for her life against Mhi’ya in a battle of the Miami lip sync assassins.
The track? “Dim All the Lights” by Donna Summers. The performance? Really fun! Compared to the past several lip syncs, which were very entertaining but did not come across as even matches, these bitches were neck and neck. And it is a fucking battle. Mhi’ya throws her entire cape on Morphine, who retaliates by throwing her goddamn tiddies. Drag is once again a contact sport, though there’s so much more personality to their performances than arena combat. As much as the queens have undervalued Mhi’ya’s gymnastic abilities, Morphine scores a very good dig by yawning at some of the flips and tricks she’s now shown us four times. Her split gag has real novelty to it, and watching her hold that pose for so long is impressive. You try it, if it’s so easy. Try flipping while you’re at it!
In the end, Morphine emerges victorious, and Mhi’ya sashays away. The Queen of Flips has not had the most beloved run on this season, but I really enjoyed watching her perform, and if she comes back I hope she’s ready to seize the spotlight she’s so completely earned. Good for Morphine, who’s lasted much longer than I expected based on her premiere performance. I still don’t see her having the sauce to win the season, but maybe she really makes top four? She’s pretty enough to win the makeover challenge. Dawn’s creative enough to score high and not win, because going too kooky doesn’t get that prize, and Q is avant garde enough for the judges to hate it and kick her out. And next week isn’t even the makeover, it’s just another team comedy challenge the queen will inevitably be judged individually on. Any last words?
CLÁUDIO: Thank heavens for that lipsync, which Morphine rightfully won despite ferocious competition. In other news, I hope the judges appreciate Miss Love Dion a bit more next week, and that the Elf Princess serves something other than safe. At this point, she should do a safe sex infomercial. Nobody’s as safe as Dawn.
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