I thought we'd experiment with a Q&A column so over the weekend I asked you to ask questions. Despite this summer's attempt to rebrand myself as a mutant telepath to rival Professor X, I can't actually read minds (unless I'm sitting across from you or holding something that belongs to you), so you had to type them.
So here we go. I'm answering half of them chosen somewhat randomly.
Robert: Do you think mainstream audiences will ever tire of superhero flicks? If so, which film will be the straw that breaks the camel's back?
Professor R: Yes, all things being cyclical. I predict it will happen with the Spider-Man reboot after the Spider-Man reboot... in 2019. (The window keeps shrinking, see.) Either that or the Wonder Twins: The Movie in 2016.
eurocheese: We've heard who'll be producing the Oscars (Brett Ratner and Don Mischer). Any guesses on a host?
Professor R: It would be unfair for me to guess since I can see into the future. But I will tell you it's a solo act this year after last year's debacle and it's unfortunately not Andy Serkis covered in motion capture gear backstage and then projected onto the stage by WETA in a variety of famous beastly character guises from cinematic history: King Kong, Mickey Mouse, The Creature from the Black Lagoon, Charlotte on a web, Jabba the Hut. (Damnit. That would have been so great. Why don't they let ME produce the Oscars? Fuck Brett Ratner!)
Mark: Is Michelle Williams becoming the next Renée Zellweger? She is showing up in 4 or 5 movies a year and seems desperate to win the Oscar.
Professor R: I don't understand the question. That's like comparing apples to oranges lemons. I don't think Williams is desperate to win an Oscar. She wouldn't be making Meek's Cutoff if she was. If she's desperate to win an Oscar she's doing a terrible job of showing it; quiet and serene on the campaign trail is generally not a winning strategy.
/3rtfull: You're having tea with three famous women. Who are they?
Professor R: I don't drink tea. But since it's tea, I envision old British ladies so let's go with: JULIE ANDREWS, DAME MAGGIE SMITH and MIRIAM MARGOLYES because I think they'd all be pure uncut joy to hang with. If they aren't available my second circle tier would be Joan Collins and Dame Helen Mirren (imagine the stories from Old Hollywood and New!) and maybe Francesca Annis but only if her tea was spiked and she was thus willing to tell me set stories about David Lynch (Dune) and bedroom stories about Ralph Fiennes.
Tea time: Julie, Maggie & Miriam
Dean: Seen The Godfather Part II yet?
Professor R: *hides in shame*
Chris E: Which classic films are you not particularly fond of?
Professor R: I didn't like The Maltese Falcon when I saw it in high school but maybe that's too young for it? The one that pops immediately to mind is The African Queen. You say "Beloved Classic!" I say "Deeply Irritating!"
Julian Stark: In your Lucille Ball post, you said that Stage Door was an actressexual essential. Which film would you say is THE actressexual essential?
Professor R: I wouldn't. Actressexuality demands constant replenishment and refuses to be limited to any one film, genre or decade. Obviously The Hours (2002) is the most recent defining essential but you've also got to have Black Narcissus, All About My Mother, All About Eve, The Women, and the documentary Searching For Debra Winger among many others.
Cecilia (Mia Farrow) the cinephileJorge: I know it's difficult but can you name THE movie (or at least narrow it down to five) that kicked off the cinephile taste in you?
Nathaniel: It was less a single movie then a combo of snowballing actress obsessions (Streep & Pfeiffer & Kathleen Turner from the mid to late 80s) with a side of televised Oscar glamour, a revival movie house that my family went to on occasion, and budding auteur curiousity (mostly Hitchcock, the ideal training wheels for baby cinephiles because it's so obvious that there's a man behind the curtain.) But if I had to name one movie which sent me off that deep end, never to find my way back again, it'd definitely be The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985).
JC: Do you watch, or at least, care about the Philippine film industry in general?
Professor R: I don't know much about Pinoy film but I am interested in all national cinemas for the most part which is why I started tracking the foreign film category at the Oscars and making maps and whatnot. The last one I saw was Serbis -- which I can still vividly recall (huge points in its favor) -- and I've seen a couple of Brillante Mendoza's earlier films, too. I keep meaning to watch The Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros.
Another Mark: What color is your hair?
Professor R: It was blonde before the great exodus. Here is a photo of me from the 90s to prove it.
Nathaniel in the 90s. Puppies on loan from a friend.
PeggySue: Do you really like superhero flicks or do you just write about them to draw readers in?
Professor R: Ouch! Trust that if I operated by way of traffic whoring, I'd probably be a) actually successful and b) bored out of my mind and c) you'd get nonsense posts every day about what the plot might be like of The Dark Knight Rises or The Avengers instead of you know, Judy Garland festivals and Best Actress polling ;) Like any film genre, this one has its peaks (I'm wild about Superman 2, Spider-Man 2 and X2), its comfort food (decades and decades and decades of Batman) and its dross. But there was really no way NOT to talk about it this summer, if you get me.
Streep, the Love TargetBrandz: Why all the Streep bashing lately? You know she's a goddess. and don't give me that crap she gets all the best roles, because she doesn't.
Professor R: I do know she's a goddess but I still don't understand the question. Why are Streep fans (a massive throng to which I belong) so hyper-sensitive? I am allowed to love her but have issues with role choices or undeserved nominations or whatnot. Meryl Streep is the Christianity of Movie Blogs. You know how Christians are always feeling persecuted when in reality the entire world caters to them? It's like that! Streep fans need to enjoy their privileged existence: the entire world loves their idol!
Seth: Do you ever visit San Francisco?
Professor R: Not often. I've been there three times (?). Weirdly I've always had a terrible time. I blame Hitchcock's Vertigo after which San Francisco will always feel disorienting. I don't want to fling myself into the bay or fall from a bell tower or be hypnotized by bun hairdos!
QUESTION OF THE WEEK!
Iggy: If there was a project of The Hours caliber with men, which three actors would be your casting choices?
Professor R: You've given me nothing about the roles or the story so I'm just going to assume it's a heavy possibly stylized drama and that we need three men of unusual screen power and performative depth to handle it to make sure it sings. In other words, I'm looking at men who can act like actresses, delivering backstory and subtext and multiple interpretations of their psychology. Just for the sake of argument I'm also going to assume it takes place in multiple time periods so I need men who are good at nailing "period" and who can obviously carry a movie. I'm excluding Michael Fassbender only because he's too obvious a choice and I fear the burnout to come if he decides to be in every single movie greenlit in 2012. So let's go with three big stars who unfortunately aren't getting the blazing brilliant leading roles that they use to and that they still deserve:
I'm going with JUDE LAW, VIGGO MORTENSEN and RALPH FIENNES and I ask that FASSY step in should any of them suddenly become unavailable for this project because he's awesome and can bring it.
If I had to cast an alternate less expensive version of this movie that couldn't afford big names, I might go with Billy Crudup, Cillian Murphy, and Paul Bettany -- hey, someone needs to rescue him from all those B movies -- just to see if they could bring it with that much of a meaty star spotlight. Yes, all of these men are delicious to look at but it's not like that hasn't won Kidman, Streep and Moore the great opportunities over the years.
Feel free to answer that question yourself in the comments. It's a goodie right? Or the one about which three ladies you'd have for tea. Or any of them. (This was fun to write! should we do it again next week?)