The Films of 2021. The 22nd annual FiLM BiTCH Awards
PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are here | SCENES
gold medal
silver medal
bronze medal
AND THE WINNERS ARE...
(this page contains SPOILERS. be warned)
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Hero of the Year
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| Fred Hampton (Daniel Kaluuya) JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH |
Mirabel |
Regan (Millicent Simmonds) A QUIET PLACE PART 2 |
Shang-Chi (Simu Liu) SHANG-CHI |
Spider-Man Spider-Men (Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire) SPIDER-MAN NO WAY HOME |
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Blessed with: Oration skills. A righteous purpose. A belief in community Achilles Heel: Trusting a plant in his organization Sidekick: His inner circle within the Black Panthers Triumph: Inspired a community. Planted the seeds for a more just future. |
Blessed with love of family, sense of community, a sense of humor, sharp observation, altruism Achilles Heel: She lacks a "gift" which makes her lonely and feeling like she can't contribute. Sidekick: (Shhh. we don't talk about Bruno) Triumph: Saves magic somehow - the details dont make a lot of sense tbh. |
Blessed with: Tenacity, smarts, bravery. Achilles Heel: Those damn murderous aliens, untrustworthy fellow humans Sidekick: Emmett, a friend of her mothers Triumph: Achieves her plan and saves the day. For now... a sequel is already greenlit for 2025 |
Blessed with: Incredible martial arts skills, magical rings Achilles Heel: Less a weakness than a problematic legacy. aka Daddy Issues Sidekick: Fellow valet and best friend Katy, his sister Triumph: Inherits magical rings, saves mythical land of To La |
Blessed with: Superpowers, scientific genius, true friends, a good heart Achilles Heel: Unwanted celebrity. Often acts before thinking of consequences. Sidekicks: Multiverse spider-selves Triumph: Saves the souls of villains. Closes the rift in the multiverse (sort of) |
Runners Up |
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Finalists: It feels weird to have a double eulogy (of sorts) as finalists but No Time to Die and Black Widow are solid if long overdue swansongs for two great movie stars in signature roles, Daniel Craig as James Bond and Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff, respectively. Semi Finalists: Uznavi (Anthony Ramos) in In the Heights for fighting for his dreams and his neighborhood community, Katie Mitchell for saving the world on her way to college in Mitchells vs the Machines,, Guy (Ryan Reynolds) or, colloquially "Blue Shirt Guy" for shaking up his virtual world and uncovering a paradise in Free Guy, Nat Love (Jonathan Majors) The Harder They Fall for his righteous quest (and sharing my name), and Neo & Trinity for reentering the Matrix, |
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Villain of the Year
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Baron Harkonnen |
Pal (Olivia Colman) MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES |
Phil Burbank (Benedict Cumberbatch) POWER OF THE DOG |
Sharon Fisherman Gordon (Kristen Wiig) BARB AND STAR |
Wenwu (Tony Leung Chiu-Wai) SHANG-CHI |
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Guilty of: Being the worst kind of entitled colonial superpower "MY Dune" via genocide and exploiting the lands of others Accomplices: servants, super soldiers, Atreides traitors, and the machinations of the unseen Emperor Shaddam Sentence: Near death by poison. Survives via disgusting black milk bath. Will continue to terrorize in Dune Part Two |
Guilty of: Holding a grudge, mass kidnapping, attempted world domination. Accomplices: a new line of robots reprogrammed to obey her. Sentence: Like the wicked witch of the west, her 'beautiful wickedness' is no match for a splash of water. |
Guilty of: Emotional and verbal and whistling abuse, attempted grooming, nasty attitude, racism, terrible hygiene, and homophobia. Accomplices: Sycophantic ranchhands, and his avoidant brother George Sentence: Death by stealth anthrax attack. He really underestimated Pete! |
Guilty of: Attempted mass murder, kidnapping, gaslighting, numerous lies, and holding a very long grudge. Accomplices: Edgar Paget duped by love, Yoyo her trusted boy henchman, and scientifically engineered lethal mosquitos Sentence: Forgiven for her murderous ways because she never had any friends! |
Guilty of: Mass murder, government toppling, freeing the "Dweller in Darkness", attemped invasion/ destruction of To La, but mostly of being a shit father. Accomplices: Razor Fist, and The Ten Rings crime oregnization Sentence: Killed by the very beast he accidentally summoned. |
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Finalists: Agent Smith (Jonathan Groff) gets a makeover but he's still a memorable camp menace in The Matrix Resurrections, Maria Grayson (Rosamund Pike) is evil incarnate grifting the conservator system in I Care a Lot, and Helen (Cate Blanchett) is a shady femme fatale who can see right through you in Nightmare Alley Semi Finalists: Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) is still batshit crazy in Spider-Man No Way Home, Starro the Conqueror (animators) is a memorable CGI beast in The Suicide Squad, Rufus Buck (Idris Elba) has left quite a blood in The Harder They Fall, and X (Colman Domingo) is an unpredictable pimp in Zola |
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Diva of the Year
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| The Baroness / Cruella (Emma Thompson & Emma Stone) CRUELLA |
Benedetta (Virginie Efira) BENEDETTA |
Billie Holiday (Andra Day) UNITED STATES VS BILLIE HOLIDAY |
Mikey Saber RED ROCKET |
Sandie (Anya Taylor Joy) LAST NIGHT IN SOHO |
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Turn ons: Fashion. Fabulousity. Being her own brand. |
Turn ons: Jesus Christ and Mother Mary. Also statues of them. A fellow horny nun (these sisters are doing it for themselves) Hobbies: Having Fantastical Visions. Causing chaos at her convent. Enablers: The gullible Turn offs: The Abbess, non-believers, the plague |
Turn ons: Tallulah Bankhead, Undercover agent Jimmy Fletcher, and heroin. Hobbies: Singing, doing drugs Enablers: Fans, dealers, multiple lovers and husbands. Turn offs: The FBI, racism, being told what she can and cannot sing. |
Turn ons: Seducing people, his glory days Hobbies: Planning a comeback, incessantly monologuing about himself / his plans Enablers: Anyone dim enough to play rapt audience. Also his ex-wife for a place to crash. Turn offs: ??? |
Turn ons: Fame, fashion, the nightlife, the big city, and her new manager Jack. Hobbies: Singing, being fabulous Enablers: Jack (but at what cost. At what cost?) Turn offs: Johns, and eventually Jack |
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Finalists: Clare (Ruth Negga) dazzles everyone in Passing with her exterior but inside she's a mess, Anita (Ariana DeBose) is always pulling focus with our without high kicks and twirls in West Side Story, Jonathan Larson (Andrew Garfield) is an endearing narcissist (quite hard to pull off!) in tick tick BOOM! Semi Finalists: Daniella (Daphne Rubin-Vega) is the life of the party (and salon) in The Heights, Dr Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) is a bossy know-it-all in Spider-Man No Way Home, Marie (Zendaya) is a movie star and can casually whip up mac and cheese in premiere gown in Malcolm and Marie |
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Sexpot of the Year
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| Edgar Paget (Jamie Dornan) BARB AND STAR |
Gawain (Dev Patel) THE GREEN KNIGHT |
Paloma (Ana de Armas) NO TIME TO DIE |
Xenia (Alec Utgoff) NEVER GONNA SNOW AGAIN |
Zola & Stefani (Taylour Paige & Riley Keough) ZOLA |
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The himbo henchman of a madwoman is really a simple sexy fellow. He just needs to be loved in return. Seagulls in the sand, won't you hear his prayer? |
This upwardly mobile knight isn't a great hero, but he's a looker and surely a great lay given the way Essel, The Lord's Lady, and The Lady's Lord all come for him. And in one case he cums for them. The magic green girdle is not a chastity belt. |
She feigns incompetence but proves excellent at her job. Has their ever been a sexier ass kicker in a glam gown slit up to there. Where's her spin-off spy movie now that 007 is dead? |
This enigmatic pansexual masseur gets in everybody's head in a gated Polish community and they'd all like him in their beds too. The unknowability and the silence and otherness only add to his mystique. |
These two strippers own their own and weaponize their own beauty, roll their eyes at pasties, sexually manipulate their boyfriends, and are turned on by the prospect of a good time and (for a very brief moment) each other. |
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Finalists: Everyone wants Sandie (Anya Taylor Joy) in Last Night in Soho but she's not so keen on the attention after a time, Vanessa (Melissa Barrera) is the beauty of the neighborhood in In the Heights, Benedetta (Virginie Efira) is insatiable in Benedetta, and Tom (Dan Stevens) is created just for your needs in I'm Your Man Semi Finalists: Chani (Zendaya) is the woman of Paul Atreides dreams in Dune, Ignacio (Alfonso Herrera) is a dreamboat and a catch but he's living a nightmare when caught in Dance of the 41, Bernardo / Riff (David Alvarez / Mike Faist) may be gang leaders but they're also dangerously charismatic thirst traps, |
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Movie Poster of the Year
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| THE FRENCH DISPATCH | OLD | PARALLEL MOTHERS | RED ROCKET | SPENCER |
| There should be more illustrated posters each year. It's impssible to look at this whimsical multi-character promo and not want a subscription to the "Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun" |
A high-concept bullseye, that's so satisfying in and of itself, camp in a scary way and vice versa, that the movie feels almost superfluous. 'Oh, someone made a movie adaptation of this poster?? I'm in!" |
Hypnotically suggests a close, similar, but not symbiotic relationship between two mothers in a way that makes you wonder about the women, the title, and its meaning. |
A throwback, opting for a painted poster recalling the sex comedies of the 1980s that were flirtatious about naughtiness, shamelessly performing faux innocence. Smart choice for a singular movie | The poster inks out the context until its an empty void, and repurposes the retching bathroom collapse as a princess glamour shot. Glamour... now with more existential despair! |
| Runners Up | ||||
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Finalists: The Green Knight sold a bold creepy curious mood filled with stark shadows and strange characters, The Electrical Life of Louis Wain indulged in the hallucinations of its protagonists, and Passing uses a standard halved poster trope but gives it fresh life, marrying it to the themes and conflict. Semi Finalists: Flee, Licorice Pizza, Shiva Baby , and Barb and Star go to Vista Del Mar |
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The Films of 2021. The 22nd annual FiLM BiTCH Awards
PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are here | SCENES