The 11th annual FiLM BiTCH Awards celebrating the films of 2010
see also: Pictures, Traditional Acting, Aurals, Special Acting, Best Scenes
Hero of the Year
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"Rita O'Grady" Sally Hawkins MADE IN DAGENHAM |
"Flynn & Rapunzel" Zachary Levi & Mandy Moore and animators TANGLED |
"Hiccup" Jay Baruchel & animators HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON |
"Mattie Ross" Hailee Steinfeld TRUE GRIT |
"Scott Pilgrim" Michael Cera SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD |
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Blessed with: Flynn: Agility, Non-Pointy Teeh, Smolder; Rapunzel: Magic Hair. Achilles Heel: Flynn: Sticky fingers and the inability to be captured in portraiture; Rapunzel: Co-dependency. Triumph: Return of royal birthright. living happily ever after. |
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Blessed With: enthusiastic bass playing, hilarious friends and advisors, the affection of his dream girl. Achilles Heel: "lesbians". Knives Chau, He's little slow on the uptake, too. Triumph: Finally "Gets it." Starts to grow up. Wins the Sword of Self-Respect. |
Finalists: Angelina Jolie as "Evelyn Salt" in SALT is blessed with the world's best poker face, Macgyver level improv skills and Angelina-sized lips. | Colin Firth as "King George VI" in THE KING'S SPEECH | |
Villain of the Year |
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César Luciano Niels Arestrup A PROPHET |
The Cody Boys Mendehlson, Stapleton, Ford, Edgerton ANIMAL KINGDOM |
Hailsham art directors NEVER LET ME GO |
"Lotso Hugging Bear" Ned Beatty & Animators TOY STORY 3 |
"Mother Gothel" Donna Murphy & animators TANGLE |
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Guilty of: Their crimes against society are multiple and murky. The short version: they've done some bad things, sweetie. Accomplices: Janine "Smurf" Cody, she'll do anything for her boys. Sentence: Various. They'll come undone. |
Guilty of: Systemic oppression, squashing the dreams of the vulnerable, excessive "donations" to ethically suspect society. Accomplices: "Miss Emily". Sentence: Shut down. But who is to say what new evils have taken its place? |
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Finalists: Mickey Rourke as "Whiplash" in IRON MAN 2 would have made the list if he weren't such a henchman and if his costume were better | Helena Bonham-Carter as the "Red Queen" in ALICE IN WONDERLAND, the film's saving grace if only it could be saved. | "Gru" in DESPICABLE ME is amusingly stuck between villainry and heroism. |
Diva of the Year
Worship their fabulousity. Key diva ingredients: presence (life force), theatrics (larger than life), narcissism/ego (believes own hype/craves attention), the goddess principle (a certain remoteness), vocal fireworks (of one sort of another) |
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"Joan Rivers" Joan Rivers JOAN RIVERS: A PIECE OF WORK |
"Red Queen" Helena Bonham Carter ALICE IN WONDERLAND |
"Sean Parker" Justin Timberlake THE SOCIAL NETWORK |
"Tess" Cher BURLESQUE |
"Thea" Paprika Steen APPLAUSE |
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Turn ons: Warm pig bellies, the Knaves of Hearts. Hobbies: Screaming at her minions, decapitating foes. Enablers: the royal court of prosthetics-users, the Knave of Hearts, frogs. Turn offs: Alice, The White Queen, tart thieves. |
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Turn ons: Herself, Alcohol, The Theater, Acting. Hobbies: Belittling people at bars, backstage and a toy stores, making loved ones uncomfortable Turn offs: Civilians who take her photo, civilians who hit on her at bars, sobriety, aging. |
Finalists: Angelina Jolie as "Evelyn Salt" in SALT, Jemima Kirke and "Charlotte" in TINY FURNITURE. Honorable Mention: Is "Banksy" of EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP a diva? How can you be a diva when you're purposely do not have a presence? Otherwise surely. |
Sexpot of the Year
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"Chloe" Amanda Seyfried CHLOE |
"Connor" Michael Fassbender FISH TANK |
"Eames" Tom Hardy INCEPTION |
"Jamie & Maggie" Gyllenhaal & Hathaway LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS |
"Lily" Mila Kunis BLACK SWAN |
Seyfried may blank slate it a bit but that's for whatever nasties the other characters are projecting onto her: horny/innocent schoolgirl, bicurious fantasy object, sexual mentor, you name it. |
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Pity they didn't let Hardy actually play his forgeries. From his intro he's exuding fluid carnality in a largely asexual piece and a movie about the subconscious needed more of just that. "Dream bigger, darling." |
When Jake and Annie are senior citizens in the Academy retirement home, here's a historical record of their physical perfection. |
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Finalists: Mark "I'd use your stuff" Ruffalo as "Paul" in THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT | Marion Cotillard as "Mal" in INCEPTION. Other than Hardy she's the only one bringing sexual force to a film about dreams for r.e.m.'s sake | Semi-Finalists: Hrithik Roshan may be trying too hard to win Sexy Prizes as "Jay Ray" in KITES but he sure can move. | Thandie Newton as "Tangie/Orange" in FOR COLORED GIRLS. If only the blazing lust didn't keep curdling into something entirely unsexy.| Marisa "Sex Angel" Tomei in CYRUS |
Best Poster Design
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BLACK SWAN |
FOR COLORED GIRLS |
I AM LOVE |
LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS |
THE RUNAWAYS |
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This bright watercolor beautifully captures the play's poetic, feminine mystique and for a movie so wet-eyed, watercolor and its bleed are perfectly apt. |
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The film was a mess but the poster is the kind of loose, funny, sexy and charming romp that the movie wants to be, half the time at least. I can't account for the other half, can you? |
Or it would have been if the target audience had been a little savvier about rock history. A clever riff on "Cherry Bomb" for sure. |
Finalists: JOAN RIVERS: A PIECE OF WORK | RABBIT HOLE | SALT | LET ME IN (teasers) |
TRADITIONAL CATEGORIES: PICTURES | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS (plus: traditional nomination tallies)
EXTRA CATEGORIES: SPECIAL ACTING | REAL CHARACTERS | BEST SCENES (plus: all nomination tallies)