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The Films of 2018. The 19th annual FiLM BiTCH Awards

PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are hereSCENES 

 

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

 

Hero of the Year
Atari & Chief
Koyu Rankin & Bryan Cranston (& animators)
ISLE OF DOGS
Black Panther
Chadwick Boseman
BLACK PANTHER
Mary Poppins
Emily Blunt
MARY POPPINS RETURNS
Miles Morales
Shameik Moore (and animators)
INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE
Ron Stallworth
John David Washington
BLACK KLANSMAN

Blessed with: Man's best friend instincts, natural leadership skills, a gift for haiku writing, but above all perserverance.

Achilles Heel: Chief bites. He doesn't mean to.

Sidekick: A pack of wild dogs: Boss, Duke, Rex, and King. And other dogs we meet along the way.

Triumph: A cure for the dog flu is found, and the banishment of dogs ends.

 Blessed with: Mystical powers, a huge stockpile of vibranium, and that state of the art  Panther suit.

Achilles Heel: His good heart sometimes slows him down. A smidge indecisive, too.

Sidekick: That genius kid sister, his girlfriend Nakia, and his army of Dora Milaje

Triumph: Regains the throne, opts for improving the whole world rather than keeping all of Wakanda's wonders private

 
Blessed with: being practically perfect in every way, including those pipes.

Achilles Heel: that inner timetable. She's never going to stick around so enjoy her while she's in town

Sidekick: A talking cane, a kindhearted leery, and the Bates children when she so deigns

Triumph: Saves the Bates family home, successfully matchmakes for a friend

 Blessed with
: Inner moral compass, super strength and agility, and that nifty 'spidey-sense'

Achilles Heel: Self-doubt, trusts his uncle way too much, and he's under a lot of pressure at school.

Sidekick: All those other Spider-people from other dimensions

Triumph: Saves the world and becomes this world's new Spider-Man

 Blessed with: Intuition, a healthy sense of humor, a moral compass, and bravery

Achilles Heel: "You used your own name?" Hey, cut him some slack. He's new at this detective thing and there's a learning curve!

Sidekick: Flip Zimmerman, who pretends to be him in undercover meetings with the KKK.

Triumph:

Runners Up

 

Finalists: Neil Armstrong (Ryan Gosling) in First Man, Paddington (Ben Whishaw and animators) in Paddington 2

Semi Finalists:  Ant Man (Paul Rudd) in Ant-Man and the Wasp, Elastigirl (Holly Hunter) in Incredibles 2, Veronica Rawlings (Viola Davis) in Widows; Tina (Eva Melender) in Border; Evelyn Abbot (Emily Blunt) in A Quiet Place

 

 

Villain of the Year
Erik Killmonger
Michael B Jordan
BLACK PANTHER
King Orm / Ocean Master
Patrick Wilson
AQUAMAN 
King Paemon
Milly Shapiro & Alex Wolff
HEREDITARY
Phoenix Buchanan
Hugh Grant
PADDINGTON 2
Thanos
Josh Brolin & Animators
AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR
 Guilty of: Murder, theft (though he's argue its reclamation), and holding grudges against Wakanda
     
Accomplices: Claw, the Dora Milaje (albeit halfheartedly) and Wakandan politics that haven't looked at the problems of living in a monarchy (monarchies and utopia aren't compatible, people -- not that the film is willing to critique that)

Sentence: Death.


Guilty of: braggadacio, racial prejudice (boy does he hate humans and half-breeds), attempted fratricide, warmongering, sneaky plotting.

Accomplices: Black Manta and guillble or like-minded politicians in the Seven Kingdoms

Sentence: In custody but unclear. His Aquamommy definitely still loves him so his sentence will be merciful.


 Guilty of: Multiple beheadings, burning people alive, High school vandalism, seance spookiness, animal abuse, casual drug use, and blatant misogyny

Accomplices: Joanie, the deceased grandmother, and maybe Annie herself? She's also kinda crazy.

Sentence: Currently thriving (?) in his new healthy host body?


 Guilty of
: Vanity, fraud, theft, framing an innocent bear - let's face it "actors are some of the most despicable, devious people on the planet"

Accomplices
: a "nun" a "knight" a "bald man" a "burglar"

Sentence
: Prison, but it's just what he needed: "a captive audience!"

Guilty of
: Genocide, prolicide, collecting a monopoly of gems, shameless self-regard and entitlement.

Accomplices: The Infinity Stones, and various CGI creatures with Avengers-formidable battle powers
 
Sentence: At large. In our last glimpse of him it appears he's just chilling on his farm after killing half the world.


Runners Up

Finalists: Men (entire cast) in Mary Queen of Scots, Men (entire cast) in Widows, Ben (Steven Yeun) in Burning

Semi Finalists: Steve Lift (Armie Hammer) in Sorry to Bother YouAugust Walker (Henry Cavill) in Mission: Impossible - Fallout, Screenslaver (Catherine Keener and animators) in The Incredibles 2, and Sandra (Dorien Davies) in The Happytime Murders,

 

 

Diva of the Year
Lady Sarah Churchill
Rachel Weisz
THE FAVOURITE
The Dora Milaje
Danai Gurira and various cast membres
BLACK PANTHER
Emily Nelson
Blake Lively
A SIMPLE FAVOR
Daphne Kluger
Anne Hathaway
OCEANS 8
Eleanor Young
Michelle Yeoh
CRAZY RICH ASIANS

 Turn ons
: Power. 

Hobbies: Dancing and shooting birds + ruling England on the sly. Can often be seen strolling around like she owns the place. She doesn't, technically, but she's getting her own palace!

Enablers: Queen Anne

Turn offs: Rabbits, Abigail, and that fop Harley who smells like a 96 year old French whore's vajuju

 Turn ons
Patriotism: "Wakanda forever!" And supposedly each other (though that's left on the cutting room floor)

Hobbies: Being badass warriors, fierce wig throwing

Enablers: Wakanda's royal family

Turn offs: Outsiders, any threats to T'Challa's sovereignty
 Turn ons
: fashion, jewelry, privacy, dirty little secrets, bossing people around

Hobbies
: reinvention, being fabulous, drinking martinis

Enablers
: The husband who's wrapped around her finger, the mommy vlogger whose obsessed with her

Turn offs
: Her past, poverty. No photos please!

Turn ons
: Fame, jewelry, a challenge

Hobbies: Mischievous fun... but what she really wants to do is direct.

Enablers: Rose Weil the fashion designer, and Debbie Ocean's crew

Turn offs: Penelope Stern, a younger celebrity rival, soup.

 Turn ons
: Wealth, reputation, family honor

Hobbies: Belittling people, humiliating racist hotel managers, playing mahjong

Enablers: vast wealth, sycophantic relatives

Turn offs: potential daughter in laws and her mother in law
 

 

Finalists: Detroit (Tessa Thompson) in Sorry to Bother You, Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) in Mission Impossible - Fallout, Ruby Sheridan (Cher) in Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

Semi Finalists: Freddie Mercury (Rami Malek) in Bohemian Rhapsody, Zula (Joanna Kulig) in Cold War, Ally (Lady Gaga) in A Star is BornJoe Castleman (Jonathan Pryce) in The Wife

 

Sexpot of the Year
Alice
Elizabeth Debicki
WIDOWS
Nick Young
Henry Golding 
CRAZY RICH ASIANS
Pops
Raúl Castillo
WE THE ANIMALS
Ramon
Chino Darín
EL ANGEL
Zula
Joanna Kulig
COLD WAR

She may be ambivalent about selling her supermodel body, but what flair and style for any of her vaguely criminal transactions as she finds her own worth.

 Husband material. That's the entire conceit of his suave, wealthy essentially perfect boyfriend. Golding sells the romcom ideal with ease. Inarguably white-hot but a problematic object of lust  in more ways than one -- more here. That dancing scene though, *fans self*  Ramon is a very very bad influence but keeps the titular teen criminal (and the audience) and other 'associates' all horned up throughout.

 With Kulig's intense screen presence, mercurial moods and sexual power, you totally buy that Wiktor would do all he does for her. 

 

Finalists: Hae-Mi and Ben (Jong-seo Jeon & Steven Yeung) in Burning, Michael Teo (Pierre Png) in Crazy Rich AsiansMimi (Gabriella Hámori and animators) in Ruben Brandt, Collector.

Semi Finalists: Georgie (Eleanor Tomlinson) in Colette, Abigail Marsham (Emma Stone) in The Favourite, Renee Bennett (Amy Schumer) in I Feel Pretty, Bo (Luke Benward) in Dumplin'

 

 

Movie Poster of the Year
BLACKkKLANSMAN CRAZY RICH ASIANS ROMA SORRY TO BOTHER YOU
WE THE ANIMALS
 Traditional disturbing iconography subverted by humor, black power, and even its plot line (see the police badge right under the hood). Great.
Bright colors, sophisticated patterns, lux accessories, and that direct no fuss enactment of the aspirational swooniness of the rom-com genre  A fine example of using your climactic image to self-mythologize: the poster feels monumental, declaring the film a masterpiece. (The bold gold font is wise.)  An in-your-face approach with that mysterious headwound, vivid palette and comically large text. It's not false advertising for a film of bold ideas, painful truths, and comic wildness. Evocative and mysterious with that scratchy shout of a title like a long pent-up memory. It gets the film's lyricism and the crude wildness of a semi-feral childhood.
Runners Up

Finalists: Burning (Sunset), Border (original buried-in-earth teaser), Good Manners (illustrated human and werewolf hand)

Semi Finalists: Boy Erased (Lucas between his parents in profile version), The Front Runner (illustrated bus off cliff teaser), A Star is Born (main poster), The Cakemaker (illustrated triangle)

 

PICTURE | ACTING | VISUALS | AURALS | EXTRAS | SPECIAL - you are hereSCENES