Gay Best Friend: Stanford Blatch (Willie Garson) in "Sex and the City" (1998 - 2010)

A series by Christopher James looking at the 'Gay Best Friend' trope

Stanford (Willie Garson) and Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) were an inseparable pair. Willie Garson will be dearly missed.Representation is always important, whether or not it is good or bad, strong or weak. I wanted to start this series because my first encounters with queer characters were in the “gay best friend” characters, both good and bad. Especially for those who grew up in the 90s and 00s, this was the experience of many people in the LGBTQ+ community. 

One of the most frequent and high profile gay best friends during this time was Stanford Blatch (Willie Garson), Carrie’s gay best friend and fellow serial dater. Garson passed away last Tuesday at the age of 57 after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. His work served as the template for a whole generation of gay characters in film and TV and his work will live on in television history. Stanford made his first appearance in the legendary pilot, which aired on June 6, 1998. From there, he appeared in all seasons, 27 episodes and both movies. Everyone always talks about the four women at the center, but Stanford is one of the most important supporting characters. Garson was an astounding talent that will be greatly missed. In celebration of his life and defining career work, let’s take a look back at the best moments of Stanford Blatch...

“Sex and the City” (Season 1, Episode 1 - 1998 - Stanford’s Introduction)

Stanford Blatch: You know I’m beginning to think the only place one can still find love and romance in NY is the gay community. It’s straight love that’s become closeted

Carrie Bradshaw: (Voice-Over) Stanford Blatch was one of my closest friends. He was the owner of a talent agency who at the moment was down to a single client.

Stanford doesn’t get much time in the series premiere of Sex and the City, but he is defined as a major character right from the get go. In fact, his introduction comes not too long after the introduction of Miranda (Cynthia Nixon), Charlotte (Kristin Davis) and Samantha (Kim Cattrall). Carrie’s voiceover/column has bemoaned the death of romance in New York City, but Stanford still carries a torch for love. In fact, this carries over to his career as a talent agent, believing in his clients even when no one else (including them) does. Throughout the series, Stanford’s optimism might waver, but it is his guiding light and what makes him a wonderful and fresh character.

“La Douleur Exquise!” (Season 2, Episode 12 - 1999)

Stanford Blatch: “I haven’t had good sex since before Cats was on Broadway”

It took until season two for Stanford’s sex life to really be explored, but boy was it worth it. As is commonplace for most gay men nowadays, his sex life takes place mostly online. Under the moniker Rick9Plus, he flirts and has cyber sex with many men on the web. Soon, his frequent contact, BigTool4U, decides he wants to meet Rick9Plus in the flesh. Reluctantly, Stanford finds himself at an underwear night packed to the gills with sexy gay men. The scene expertly shows how this can be titillating and terrifying, especially if you don’t feel like the sexiest in the room. Still, Stanford gets cruised by a very hot commodity, causing me to cheer from my couch! It may not be BigTool4U, but Stanford can still land a guy in the real world, even without the veneer of Rick9Plus. Yes, Stanford’s sex life only gets explored during the “kink” episode, as if gay sex is a kink. Still, it’s well worth it to see Stanford land a hunk at underwear night.

“No Ifs, Ands or Butts” (Season 3, Episode 5 - 2000)

Carrie Brandshaw (VO): Stanford wondered if he was enough of a queen to make love to a queen who collected queens.

No matter the sexuality, dolls are creepy. Stanford finally winds up with a potential match and all seems to be going well. Yet, once they get back to his apartment, Stanford discovers an overwhelming porcelain doll collection that he must navigate around in order to screw. Eventually, Stanford’s desires overtake his discomfort and he decides to go for it. However, in the throws of passion, he ends up breaking one of the dolls, severing his chances with this new beau. Just like all the women, Stanford is just as capable of looking past red flags solely in the service of sex.

“Boy Interrupted” (Season 6, Episode 10 - 2003)

Stanford Blatch: I missed my prom in high school because...

Anthony Marantino: You were gay.

Stanford Blatch: No. My girlfriend and I broke up the night before because...

Anthony Marantino: You were gay.

Stanford Blatch: No. I wasn't gay until...

Anthony Marantino: You were born.

Stanford Blatch: Never mind.

Proms are a tricky thing for gay people, particularly those like Stanford who likely came of age right before or during the AIDS crisis. Thus, it feels triumphant when Stanford and Carrie win Prom King and Queen at the LGBT prom that ends the episode. Over the six years that the show ran, Stanford would often get in his own way of finding love (not unlike the fabulous leading quartet of women). He finds himself in a similar predicament with his new beau Marcus. Anthony (Mario Cantone) spills the beans to Charlotte that Marcus was a gay escort and this piece of information finds its way back to Stanford. Though Stanford tries to call off the relationship based on this (very shame-y and cring-y), they eventually reconcile by the episode’s end. Why should being a male escort preclude Marcus from being Stanford’s eventual love? It’s great to see him disregard one of his hangups and give love a chance.

We also get a rare interaction between Stanford and Anthony, Charlotte’s gay best friend and Stanford’s eventual husband (more on that soon)...

Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Samantha Jones: Now why would Liza agree to this?

Miranda Hobbes: It's the law of physics. Whenever there's this much gay in one room, Liza manifests.

Sex and the City didn’t always do right by its gay characters. In fact, by Sex and the City 2, it was done doing right by ANY of its characters. Still, we got one of our first big, gay weddings in popular culture. I mean, of course Liza Minnelli was the officiant. It doesn’t make sense why Stanford would end up with Anthony (Mario Cantone), Charlotte’s gay best friend and Stanford’s rival. It reeks of the franchise not knowing what to do with its two gay characters so it thrust them together just for a set piece. Still, after all his dating hangups and tendency to throw himself at love, Stanford deserved a happy ending.

It remains to be seen how much Garson filmed of And Just Like That, the new Sex and the City episodes. Even if Stanford doesn’t make much of an appearance, I hope that he and Anthony are living a healthy, happy and fabulous life together (that is obviously full of bickering, but in a fun way).

Previously in Gay Best Friend

pre stonewall

• Plato (Sal Mineo) in Rebel Without a Cause (1955)

• Sebastian Venable in Suddenly Last Summer (1959)

• Calla Mackie (Estelle Parsons) in Rachel Rachel (1968)

post stonewall

• Bernstein (Antonio Fargas) in Next Stop, Greenwich Village (1976)

• Erich (Norbert Weisser) in Midnight Express (1978)

• Toddy (Robert Preston) & Squash (Alex Karras)  in Victor/Victoria (1982)

• Dolly Pelliker (Cher) in Silkwood (1983)

• Buddy (Charles Grodin) in The Woman in Red (1984)

1990s and the 2000s

• Tim (Nathan Lane) in Frankie & Johnny (1991)

• Hedra Carlson (Jennifer Jason Leigh) and Graham Knox (Peter Friedman) in Single White Female (1992)

• Sammy Gray (Steve Zahn) in Reality Bites (1994)

• Gareth (Simon Callow) and Matthew (John Hannah) in Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

• Christian (Justin Walker) in Clueless (1995)

• Jane (Whoopi Goldberg) in Boys on the Side (1995)

• Sterling (Patrick Stewart) in Jeffrey (1995)

• Cleo (Queen Latifah) in Set It Off (1996)

• George Downs (Rupert Everett) in My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997)

• Simon Bishop (Greg Kinnear) in As Good As It Gets (1997)

• George Hanson (Paul Rudd) in The Object of My Affection (1998)

• Bill Truitt (Martin Donovan) in The Opposite of Sex (1998)

• Michael (Stuart Wells) in Billy Elliot (2000)

• Robert (Rupert Everett) in The Next Best Thing (2000)

• Buck (Mike White) in Chuck & Buck (2000)

• Patti (Sandra Oh) in Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

• Michael (Robin de Jesús) in Camp (2003)

• Damian (Daniel Franzese) in Mean Girls (2004)

• Todd (Keir O’Donnell) in Wedding Crashers (2005)

• Nigel (Stanley Tucci) in The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

• Wallace Wells (Kieran Culkin) in Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010)

• Brandon (Dan Byrd) in Easy A (2010)

The Now

• Patrick (Ezra Miller) in The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

• Matt (Matthew Wilkas) in "Gayby" (2012)

• Abby Gerhard (Sarah Paulson) in Carol (2015)

• Duncan (Pete Davidson) in Set It Up (2018)

• Oliver T'Sien (Nico Santos) in Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

• Jack Hock (Richard E. Grant) in Can You Ever Forgive Me (2018)

• Artie (John McCrea) in Cruella (2021) and other “First Disney LGBTQ+ Characters (2013-2021)

Who is your favorite (or least favorite) example of a “gay best friend” in movies? Let us know in the comments below.

Comments

[Joe G.]

Sex and the City has dealt with death in some smart ways in the past, so I'd be interested to see if Anthony shows up without Stanford in this continuation series (or in its second season, assuming it gets one).

[ScottC]

I liked Garson's performance fine - but boy did I hate hate hate that they stuck Stanford with Anthony. Sometimes this show didn't try in the slightest, and that was a prime example of it.

[Michael R]

SCOTTC: agree with you about Anthony and Stanford's pairing. Awful. But to me the show was perfect; it was the movies that were an abomination.

[Finbar McBride]

The Wit and Wisdom of Stanford Blatch

Stanford: "I can only stay a few minutes. I’ve got tickets to 'The Vagina Monologues.'"

Carrie: "Why?"

Stanford: "Just because I don’t eat at the restaurant, doesn’t mean I can’t hear the specials."

*****

Stanford: "How can you not have a shrink? This is Manhattan. Even the shrinks have shrinks. I have three."

Carrie: "No, you don’t."

Stanford: "Yes, one for when I want to be cuddled, one for when I want tough love and one for when I want to look at a beautiful man."

Carrie: "That’s sick!"

Stanford: "Which is why I see the other two."

******

Carrie: "Oh God I love Sleeping Beauty! The music, the sets, the costumes! It's so romantic!"

Stanford: "You only like it because she gets to sleep for a hundred years and she doesn't age."

[Greg F]

Finbar - the shrink quote has me cackling. Thanks for reminding how damn funny Stanford is (and the great work by Garson). I only wish there was more of him throughout the show!

[Greg F]

Finbar - the shrink quote has me cackling. Thanks for reminding how damn funny Stanford is (and the great work by Garson). I only wish there was more of him throughout the show!

[/3rtful]

Anthony (Mario Cantone) spills the beans to Charlotte that Marcus was a gay escort and this piece of information finds its way back to Stanford. Though Stanford tries to call off the relationship based on this (very shame-y and cring-y), they eventually reconcile by the episode’s end. Why should being a male escort preclude Marcus from being Stanford’s eventual love?

Standford's initial response wasn't about Marcus' previous life but being kept in the dark about it. Especially the sting of the information coming from a rival.

[rrrich7]

I already miss Stanford. And, like others, I screamed "FALSE" when he wound up with Anthony in SATC #2. I never saw #2 and walked out on #1 - too many commercial plugs of products and what not. But anyway, Stanford and Anthony couldn't stand each other in the series. Which felt TRUE.

By the way, if you're a fan of the clothes, shoes and/or jewelry on the series, they've made an Instagram account for the new show. JustLikeThatCloset will show you all of the above and leave you agog at the prices!