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"Let's Be Expendable," said the Box Office

Amir here, with the weekend’s box office report. The hearts of the old heroes shattered, their muscles shriveled, their skin drooped and the Botox melted. Who would have thought one day the toughest, meanest men in Hollywood would fall to four teenagers; and not just any old group of teenagers, but teenagers from a very slow species. TMNT held on to the top spot as The Expendables 3 opened at fourth place. Equally damning for the action crew is that they fell behind Let’s Be Cops, a remarkably unfortunate title at a time when no one in America wants anything to do with cops.

Damon Wayans Jr and Jake Johnson demonstrating what moviegoers thought of the weekend's new offerings

01 NINJA TURTLES $28.4 (cum. $117.6) Remember the animated feature version?
02 GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY $24.7 (cum. $222.2)  Review
03 LET'S BE COPS $17.7 (cum. $26.1) *new*
04 THE EXPENDABLES 3 $16.2 *new* recommended read
05 THE GIVER $12.7 *new* Review
06 INTO THE STORM $7.7 (cum. $31.3)
07 THE HUNDRED-FOOT JOURNEY $7.1 (cum. $23.6)
08 LUCY $5.3 (cum. $107.5) Podcast
09 STEP UP ALL IN $2.7 (cum. $11.8)
10 BOYHOOD  $2.1 (cum. $13.8)  Review & Podcast
11 HERCULES $2 (cum. $68.1) 
12 GET ON UP $1.9 (cum. $27)  Review

Rounding the weekend’s dull wide releases is The Giver, a film with little to admire but its “cheeseball sincerity.” The Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep’s vehicle came in at fifth, and completes what is to my memory one of the worst reviewed weekends in recent times. The Rotten Tomatoes average of the three new films stands at a paltry 25 percent and none of these films have generated any enthusiasm from the audiences.

The limited side was similarly dull with Coogan and Brydon’s follow-up to the hilarious The Trip, titled The Trip to Italy (reviewed), falling short of the standard set by its predecessor, Life after Beth continuing the series of films in which Aubrey Plaza’s comic talent goes to waste, and La Jalousie, this week’s only foreign arthouse offering, receiving lukewarm reaction almost a whole year after its Venice debut.

Have you seen any of these films? Any older films you got passionate about watching instead this weekend? Let us know in the comments what you're excited about. 

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Reader Comments (15)

Since what was at the theatres was singularly uninspiring I had my own little mini Betty Bacall festival watching Woman's World, Dark Passage, Murder on the Orient Express and Shock Treatment in one highly enjoyable block.

August 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjoel6

joel6 -- ooh, i shoulda done something similar.

August 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNATHANIEL R

They will start blaming the early leakage of The Expendables 3 for the poor box office performance, but the truth is that hardly affect much of its performance, at least not as much as the low anticipation towards the movie itself. People who download movies are hardly expected to go to cinema to begin with. Unless it's the bad word-of-mouth those people passing around that stopped some people who originally planned to watch it in cinema. The prospect of seeing a bunch of old dudes feeling so angry and pissed for the third time is just not very attracting anymore. The first time, people wanted to see what's all the buzz; the second time, people wanted to see if it still has it in Sly to bring in the surprise (but he didn't, so people abandoned the ship).

I actually watched it in cinema, and apart from a very comic Antonio Banderas (who was talking non-stop and became annoying), the rest of the movie were... well I don't actually remember much about the movie now.

August 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPJ

I saw two C+ movies:
- Chef: Nice. Made me hungry. Have you noticed there are like 20 people credited as executive producers?
- Jack Goes Boating: I have never seen NY in a more depressing way since Abel Ferrara.

Then I went and punished myself watching Donald Rumsfeld in The Unknown Known. Kidding, It was really interesting.

August 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy Sue

I watched Gentelman's Agreement. Celeste Holm was wonderful. I will be watching Enemies: a Love Story for the Smackdown

August 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTom

Wanted to see Let's Be Cops and Boyhood but I couldn't make it happened, so I watched Locke and Best Friends Forever on Apple TV. I liked both films a lot but Locke was the greater of the two and is in my Top 3 of 2014, so far. Because I self-funded my short film back in March and couldn't pay my MoviePass bill, I missed quite a few films I wanted to see in theaters in the early part of the year and Locke was unfortunately one of them. Palo Alto, Snowpiercer, Grand Budapest Hotel, Nymphomaniac 1 & 2 and maybe Filth and the Lego Movie are next up on my wish list. I'll also be giving Under The Skin, Noah and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 second watches.

August 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel Armour

Amir, not sure if it's done intentionally to test if the readers follow every link you attached, but the "review" on The Trip to Italy is actually a funny article on the list of everything from box office pull to sexiest man alive for the cast of Expendables 3. It was a delightful surprise, I can't stop laughing at the silliness of some of the lists (like Adam Lavine being name-checked, despite not being in the movie).

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPJ

I watched half of Berlin Alexanderplatz after only able to see the first 2 parts and OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Then watched Lars von Trier's Europa. I was on a very Barbara Sukowa kind of kick.

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCMG

Guardians of the Galaxy and 100 Foot Journey, but couldn't help wishing it was Glenn Close as a the perfectionist restauranteusse and Helen Mirren as Nova Prime. That said Om Purri is fantastic and underused in cinema.

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

PJ- Yes, I noticed that, but forgot to change it. Glad you enjoyed the surprise!

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAmir

saw THE HUNDRED FOOT JOURNEY ... full theater and audience applauded at the end.. Mostly an over 50 crowd... wonder if it will be this years PHILOMENA? :)

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCastro

Lucy in theaters, The Immigrant at home. Enjoyed them both very much. Lucy rides the silly/sublime line perfectly, Besson proves he still has some of the best action (and comedy) chops in the business, and ScarJo triumphs over all. I started The Immigrant a couple weeks ago and felt like I'd seen the story it was telling, and the way in which it was telling it, so many times that I turned it off, disappointed. I decided to finish it this weekend, and I'm really glad I did, because it becomes a much more complicated, interesting, beautiful film in its second half, and closes with one of the most striking shots I've ever seen.

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoark

Haven't seen a new 2014 movie since Guardians two weeks ago.

Attended a Robin Williams memorial retrospective at my local college art house. They do this every time a *really* beloved actor/director dies (Patrick Swayze was the last one I went to a few years ago) and all the proceeds go to charity so I'm always more than happy to participate. Saw Good Will Hunting with someone who had never seen it before so that was really interesting. The line into the small theater was pretty long, I was very pleased with the turnout. Movie still holds up very well, especially the acting and the script. Co-attendee was shocked at how wonderful the whole cast was in general and he gave major props to Minnie Driver, surprisingly. The actressexual in me was grinning, I legit love her in this role and I almost talked his ear off about what a good atypical girlfriend role that is. It's also probably my favorite Robin Williams performance, if we're being really honest. We both talked about the backlash the movie got a few months/years after it came out how and how it was mostly due to Miramax hyping the shit out of it at the time and we both realized there's a very clear straight white male 'if only' fantasy current going on in the movie that Gus Van Sant seemed to try to steer away from in his really homoerotic way of framing and lighting Matt Damon's striking face and body. It's an interesting push and pull that I think works great for the movie so obsessed with its lead figure. An agreement was made about the worst part of the movie being Danny Elfman's intrusive score and that Elliott Smith should've been the only thing playing on the soundtrack. We both listened to "Miss Misery" on a loop the way home.

We were also gonna do The Birdcage but he had JUST seen it a few nights ago so we opted out. World According to Garp and Dead Poets Society were also options but fuck that. We just went and watched Aladdin on our own and it was wonderful. I LOOOOVE how Busby Berkeley those Genie musical numbers get. :D

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMark The First

I rewatched Far From Heaven and All About Eve. I actually watched Eve twice--the second time was for the DVD commentary by Chris Mankiewicz. Good stuff. But I wish Celeste Holm said more about her priceless interaction with Bette.

I also watched selections from Murder On the Orient Express, a fave I've seen about 40 times, for the sections with Lauren Bacall. She is simply magnificent in this.

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbrookesboy

brookesboy - embarrassing confession: i have never seen MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS.

August 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNATHANIEL R

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