It's Not Supposed to Happen This Way
Wednesday, November 9, 2016 at 8:12AM 
Dear readers I must apologize. I have no witticisms or insightful movie references or rallying words or anything to offer in the wake of our national tragedy this morning...
America was a grand experiment and 240 years is a good run for anything I suppose. But I really wanted it to outlive me. I wanted it to be a beacon of hope like the Statue of Liberty rather than a place that rewarded xenophobia, misogyny, and racism and those who would seek to shut down the freedom of the press and, well, facts and compassion in general.
And soon there won't even be healthcare for anyone who needs anti-depression medication! (Which will likely be all of us soon including those racists and misogynists who voted in the orange one, or those who don't feel racist or misogynist but who condone those things and therefore are them with their vote, and those who shamefully didn't vote, and those who tossed their votes away or those who planned to volunteer and didn't (raises hand), those who didn't donate, those who didn't explain their fears to conservative friends, or those who didn't A-Z...
But that urge to cast blame doesn't get us far
I recently saw a movie called The Bad Batch by Ana Lily Armipour and I did not like it at all. Despite the director's visual gifts it was so relentlessly ugly in its worldview. I sat there shaking my head about its thematic arc, which seemed to suggest, even romanticize, the idea that humanity's most primal urge was for self-destruction. It had a lot of uncomfortable similarities to Mad Max: Fury Road except that its own missing-limbed Furiosa wasn't driven and heroic. But in the long mostly sleepless night that just passed it flashed in my movie-addled brain and perhaps its nihilism is prescient.
I don't want to feel this hopeless but if grief has taught me anything in my life -- and that's arguable though I have an uncomfortable amount of hours spent with it-- it's that you have to feel whatever you feel whenever it wants to be felt.
And then you have to soldier on. Because the other option is just more of the nihilism and self-destruction and loss of hope that can cause plenty of its own grief. And why add to it? This morning I read an essay called "Whe Who Choose to Stay and Fight" by Sara Benincasa that I highly recommend. It helps in the tiniest of ways and so we seek out all of those little helpers until we can stack them up like a ladder and escape the dark depths of depression.
A little later this morning there's an incongruously joyful episode of our "Judy by the Numbers" series but we'll let it publish as scheduled. Perhaps it'll be one of those little helpers to someone. Hug your loved ones irl or virtually today -- especially if they belong to any minority group or fall on the lower end of the economic scale because anyone who fits either description will be attacked the most by the oncoming all GOP rule of the USA -- and find at least one thing to feel hopeful about today, however small it is. Do that again tomorrow. Stack them up and climb until you can see some light.
Reader Comments (78)
Everything is awful, and the worst part is that it's totally unavoidable now. I have to deal with older morons who aren't too big on the Internet in real life, and the Internet has made it so that all websites are miserable-I wound up seeing the Twitter of someone who's very tangentially associated with this site and, well, you can't keep the idiots out anywhere.
America, you got conned. I will never again underestimate the hatred and stupidity of my fellow Americans, particularly white Americans. Okay, phew, I feel better.
I agree with what Marsha is saying, sure Hillary was a little bit "corrupt" because I think it is difficult to remain "pure" in any way if your entire life is in politics. But it simply canNOT compare with the vile person who got elected. He is awful in every way and my only hope is that he is lazy and disinterested in doing the actual job. He also likes to pick fights and take offense at just about everyone, and the only ones left are fellow Republicans, so have at it. Cannibalism can be fun (to watch). See, that makes me feel better.
One more thing though, I texted my Mormon Utah sisters late last night and said I was depressed and told them it was because of President Trump. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that both of them thought that Trump was vulgar, disgusting, and dangerously unqualified and they both wanted Hillary to win. I was blown away. They have never supported a non-Republican in their lives. So I have some small hope that people can see him for what he is. Maybe it's a beginning?
So for today, I'm grateful for Judy & Barbra and that they have existed in my lifetime and that we have them captured forever in the light so that future generations (if Trump doesn't hit the nuclear button) can enjoy them and see what talent and goodness humans are/were capable of.
Now I understand Fernando Rey in Seven Beauties.
I'm never voting again. I didn't vote for Trump nor Clinton as both of them are despicable in their own way. You can never be satisfied or given something to cling on as a sense of hope and now, I feel like we're fucked.
I dislike Trump immensely ... But I do not see the situation at all the same as you attacked me
I am neither Jew nor gay .. but I will be damned if I will not fight for my country.
THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH SUSAN SARANDON FOR YOUR WHOLE BULLSHIT THROUGHOUT WHOLE THIS. The Meddler indeed 👎
I saw a tweet by the green party blaming this at the Dems. LOL voting not for Hillary is what got you all this.
Praying so very hard for Hillary and her family, the Obamas, and the celebs who campaign for her, especially my loves, Laura Benanti and Lady Gaga.
And also May God bring protection to my fellow muslims and other minorities. Much love for you Nat.
Americans you brought this on yourselves to live a real edition of American Horror Story #AmericansSoWhite
Forever the optimist...it's only 48 months.
Melania Trump, the First Lady. Jesus fucking Christ.
Hey, at least this might mean the glorious Laura Benanti has a steady gig for a few years.
Trying to stay positive here...
One of the 10 worst days in my life. And I lived through the elections of Reagan and two Bushes. I can not imagine....the White House, Congress, Senate and the Supreme Court.
Oh, and who is paying for the wall? And who pays Zero taxes? And wants millions of deportations? And wants one religious group out of the country? Treats women like Barbie dolls? This USA is the laughing stock of the world.
Will Bridgegate or Rudy the clown be appointed to the Supreme Court? Ann Coulter and Bill O'Reilly straight to the cabinet.
And as for global warming....maybe Chuck Norris can take care of that.
I
Steven, with all due respect of course we're fucked if people don't vote. And you say you didn't vote for either of them so why are you complaining? the great success of the GOP Is poisoning the perception of government as being useless. it lowers voter turnout because people get discouraged (like you) and history shows that when voter turnout is low republicans win. Simple as that.
though i remain mystified that so many people can run on the platform of GOVERNMENT IS HORRIBLE AND USELESS. ELECT ME. and then get elected. You'd think the people would want to elect people who believe in a functional government.
Rick - who attacked you? t'wasnt me. I just said tell that to the people Hitler murdered. Fascists have very real life and death consequences for people in every country where they've ever been elected. People will surely die due to this election. Other people will be publicly scorned, others deported, racial hate crimes start any second now...
i think it's a little longer until the gay bashing starts because Trump hasn't talked about that so much yet but the current GOP platform is the most anti-LGBT platform in decades and Pence wants us all in jail or in electroshock conversion therapy so anti-gay hate crimes will be up shortly too.
rick, I don't know what your circumstances are, but as a poor gay man with mental health struggles, I feel very unsafe and marginalized with Trump as president. For those of us who fit one or more of the identity categories he and his supporters hate--LGBTQ, poor, female, black, immigrant, differently-abled, Muslim--it's not necessarily a matter of just sticking things out and fighting for our country. We feel like our safety is in jeopardy, that our lives are of no value to many people who live here. That is no way to live.
And really, what can we do? The Republicans have the White House, the House and the Senate. We're fucked.
I reject Trump as my president. I reject all the people who voted for him (or who voted for a third-party candidate to make a statement). I reject the USA as my country.
I see Kim Davis gleefully shredding documents. Ted Nugent hunting down endangered species. Psychiatric hospitals discharging dangerous patients due to budget cuts. (stand very far away from the oncoming subway...) The price of gas back to the Bush era rates (double the current cost)...
I could go on and on but it is just so depressing...
I feel very sad.
Heartfelt sympathy and empathy from Australia. Our leaders are struggling to come terms with the fact that our all important security alliances are under threat and I'm coming to terms with the fact that your country elected such a man over Hillary Clinton. I second Aaron's words here to anybody who thought they were "both bad".
All you Liberal Democrats out there get behind Michael Moore. He called it back in July with his "5 Reasons Trump Will Win" and is now calling for action with his "Morning After To Do List". Moore was a strong Bernie supporter who put aside the reservations he had about Hillary to support her and called on all like minded to do so too. He warned that the "angry white man" was a reality. A strong demographic who had longstanding grievances and would gladly take the chance to shove it up the proverbial of the so called elite if given by a candidate who spoke their language. We have a demographic like that here too and they are led by an orange haired women by the name of Senator Pauline Hanson - spotted yesterday popping champagne bottles by the dozen. In Australia we still still have not legalized Gay Marriage and the policy from our government concerning refugees who arrive by boat is a disgrace. The xenophobic, racists in our government now have a legitimized example to follow.
Bernie has the only viable answer to Trump for the disaffected rural white vote: expanded Social Security, Medicare for all, get the profit motive out of healthcare and education, and a WPA-style jobs program. After Trump's program of racism and trade brinksmanship crashes and burns, I hope we can make Bernie's argument effectively. The one opportunity is to use inevitable GOP unpopularity to control state races in 2018 and 2020.
Even though I came to respect Hillary (after really loving Bernie and even writing an article about him), she was never able to address the inherent problems of capitalism. Even though his answer was totally fraudulent, Trump was somehow able to speak to working people, unfortunately.
2016 is the year of using the Protest Vote idiotically.
The Vote should be the finishing step of a protest, not the initiation.
First Brexit, now THIS!
Science and Technology will save the world. But once in a while they need help from politicians and the masses, you know, to avoid genocide, war, stuff like that.
My heart is broken and I'm really angry :(
I'm very late to this thread but these are words of comfort to Nathaniel & the whole TFE team.
I'm lucky enough to live in Vancouver, last night I was so horrified by the results.
I just want to remind you that more than 50% of voters were sane & did vote HRC.
We all expected a happy ending last night. Good would triumph over Evil.
Hermione/Hillary would beat Voldemort. But the dark side won.
We are citizens of the world not just Canada or the US, when the dark asserts itself
we must all lend comfort & support to others
We must not sit smugly in judgement of any country - European nations
are fighting the same rise in racism & coping w Putin's info-wars.
Many other countries, all over the globe have struggled against authoritarian rulers.
What can we do? For one thing, let's dig in & participate in all levels of government.
While Trump is in the WH there is so much that can be done at local & state levels.
Above all we must be strong & hold on to our multi-cultural sensibilities which value tolerance,
peace & co-operation over the bombast we hear.
You may think that sounds like very little - but strong immutable values in the face of corruption do count. The wheel will turn...
And when that time comes in 2 yrs (at mid-terms) or in 4 yrs or whenever be ready to fight with all you've learned. Trump will fail.
There will be damage, but resistance to this evil is essential.
Hope is a necessity in life, eventually more people will reject the dark.
Between this and Brexit, I think we need to see how bif g of a diivde there is betwee. People who live in in more urban areaa compared to people who live in smaller towns and ciitea thatbia where the Trunp message sold, heck when even Dallas votes Clinton, you have to wonder, why is there such a divide between city and country people, its like two completely different ideologies. This is a sad sad day,more so for how diivded the nation is rather even more than Trump winning,I just cannot digest this.
Trump is a fraud. I do not understand my country. It is all too sad.
* Hopefully this allows us to chop off some dead wood at the top of the Democratic party. *
This!
Let's give us some time to grieve, but after that it's all liberals' responsibility to rethink and reflect, what we did wrong and what we could've done. For a long time liberals have been living inside their bubbles. Stop being condescending and smart ass, start talking to those who don't wholeheartedly agree with everything we stand for, everything we take for granted, try to understand what they think, try to find common ground that can begin to heal some of our society’s severe divisions, think about how to connect with the silent majority instead of just pushing them to the other side.
Keep the faith and start working, the sooner the better, hopefully in two years' time.
I am an affluent white hetrrosexual male.... I have a number of both gay and lesbian friends who are upset about this election ... All of them are putting on their "big boy/girl pants," and working in their community to effect change. I personally work with the ACLU both monetarily and with my time as an advocate for people like you ,Mike, who are afloat in your community....
There are resources for all to avail ... You cannot sit and expect things to happen ... One must search out the possibilities ... They are there ... Find them.
I will not respond to any other blogger over this issue ... This is not the apocalypse
As SoSue so rightfully stated. This is only 48 months... I love that statement ...
@Topper, USA no mater it's history is still clearly the most productive and positive world superpower Eart has ever had. Europe is the best example of this. Give me US over all the other crazy potential superpowers (cough Putin, cough).
And as for situation in Brazil, man up for Christ sake it's your own mess. Don't blame others.
I'm still numb. The whole world - except Russia and the Nazis in Europe - are in shock at what a group of uneducated white racist morons did to the world.
If it were any other country I wouldn't give a toss if you elected a Nazi dictator eg. Phillipines. But the President of the USA has a lot of power that affects the entire world.
America was great again when President Obama was elected. Now the Trumptards have destroyed your international standing.
Dubya was bad but Drumpf will be much much worse.
I'm takin' the wig down from the shelf.
As an outsider I find the results of your election hard to comprehend and don't quite believe it. At the moment we Canadians have a wonderful Prime Minister who walks the talk and fully embraces diversity and as he puts it "sunny ways". But we must not be smug. There are several extreme right wing conservatives gunning for the leadership of the opposition political party. We could be facing similar ugliness and hatred at the next federal election. We must not let down our guard.
Supreme Court appointments are longer than 48 months!
Sorry for the late post.
My condolences. I think the most scary thing is not Trump being elected, but the most chilling is almost half o America endorses (or condones) his outrageous rhetoric!!!
What does it say about the free world when almost half of the population voted for someone who endorses racism, homophobia, xenophobia, misogyny and shoot off his mouth every 2 secs & behave like a Big Bully when he can't get his way??? I think that is even more chilling than the fact that Trump trumped.
@Suzanne: Ya this is really v ironic! U get the most votes but yet u still lost!!! Trump is right in this one, the system is RIGGED!