By now you've heard the news that Darren Aronofsky has left the director's chair of The Wolverine, leaving Fox and Hugh Jackman scrambling for a new leader. They're going to move aggressively to replace him. Aronofsky cites a year away from home (presumably in Japan) as the reason for his departure. Sad. Just when we had totally acclimated ourselves to the idea of Aronofsky's madness servicing Wolverine's berserker rages, too. Who didn't want to see Hugh Jackman challenged again by an auteur -- and not just to up his protein consumption -- particularly the auteur that wrestled his best performance out of him?
We think there's way more to the story that Aronofsky and Fox just aren't telling. I was talking to Joe about this and perhaps our imaginations are just overactive but wouldn't any studio simply adjust their current plans to accomodate a director who has a proven track record of upping their star's game and of creating amazing visuals with $1.57 in petty cash that outdo their million dollar investments. Plus, Aronofsky is just off a huge surprise worldwide success.
TEN (IMAGINARY) REASONS ARONOFSKY REALLY LEFT WOLVERINE
10. Darren prefers pencil moustaches to mutton chops.
09. Fox demanded a Halle Berry / Storm cameo.
08. Studio objected to scene Darren referred to as "Uncle Hank's Cigar Challenge"
07. Fox insisted that Coney Island was not a suitable stand-in for Tokyo exteriors. Not even with CGI embellishments.
06. Fox demanded a Black Swan Reboot option added to Darren's contract.
05. Hugh Jackman refused to allow actual steel blades to be placed in his arms. Wuss. Mickey Rourke was totally okay with the staples!
04. Aronofsky couldn't stop giggling every time "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" was uttered in studio meetings.
03. Wolverine's mutant healing prevented all attempts to dramatize self-mutilation, Aronofsky-style. Aronofsky to Fox: "Booooorrrring!"
02. Fox rejected new costume concept involving Wolverine in a natty scarf.
01. Hugh Jackman wanted Benjamin Milipied to 'choreograph' the fight scenes.
Maybe you can think of more reasons in the comments?