Yes, No, Maybe So: "John Carter"
Thursday, July 14, 2011 at 3:23PM With Hollywood searching madly for the next franchise and the next one after that -- which can mean billions upon billions of dollars even when you stop trying (Deathly Hallows Pt 1, Pirates part whichever, Etcetera) -- so why not John Carter of Mars. He's the other oft-naked hero from Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs. If Tarzan could generate millions upon millions for decades upon decades, why not this other guy?
Taylor Kitsch is THE PRINCE OF PERSIA JOHN CARTER.
So on March 9th, 2012 John Carter arrives on Mars... albeit without Mars in his franchise title. Weirdness. After a decade of ever-lenghtening film titles, Hollywood has decided to go short again. The Invention of Hugo Cabret becomes the boring "Hugo" and John Carter of Mars becomes the boring "John Carter". Hopefully the movies bearing these names aren't similarly reductive.
Let's break down the trailer with our patented Yes No Maybe So system. How badly do we want this one?
Writers never tire of naming their messiahs JC - SUBTLE! -- but we're curious about this "John Carter" fellow and his director, too. After five years of heavy glowering and heavy drinking and sensitive soulfulness on Friday Night Lights will Taylor Kitsch's charisma transfer to the big screen. That cameo in X-Men Origins: Wolverine (let us never speak of that fi---oh, damnit!!!) was eyegrabbing but will he be able to carry an entire movie? The other huge question mark here in terms of transferring is Finding Nemo / WALL•E director Andrew Stanton. How well will his gift transfer to live action (a similar challenge awaits Brad Bird in Mission Impossible - Ghost Protocol) . We're ready to find out.
Like many fans of Pixar, we hoped for a huge genre leap for Pixar when this was first announced; why shouldn't the great animated studio do a dramatic sci-fi action flick with their insane technological wizardy? Alas the only thing that appears to be animated here are the super tall multi-limbed martians. And if this trailer is any indication they stick out like... well... animated characters in live-action filmmaking often do. That last line reading is curiously disheartening too.
When I saw you I believed it was a sign that something new could come into this world.
...because, you see, this movie doesn't look "new" at all. It doesn't look like some great new hope coming to our movie world. It looks like every other movie! You've got costumes that give you Prince of Persia or Zardoz flashbacks, you've got animated superhero leaps in the desert that recall Hulk's big jumping bean moment or maybe something from that Immortals trailer. Mars doesn't look otherworldly really unless by other worlds you mean Tattooine. And why are John Carter and his love interest (Lynn Collins) wearing so many clothes? We knew they couldn't be starkers like they often are in the book, but why so much material even covering their midriffs? On the other hand this trailer is very short and perhaps they're saving the provocative or eye-candy imagery for the movie itself and maybe it'll all be magic in context.
We're a maybe so for the source material, the director/star double risk, and the off chance that the movie is a helluva lot weirder than this generic peak. But we're starting to worry about leaning full on "no".
You?
Reader Comments (18)
It is a pretty underwhelming first glimpse, I gotta agree. I still have high hopes - I have a feeling they've still got a lot of work to go on the CG (the film's not out until Spring) so we're not seeing one tenth of what there is to come, but it does make you wonder why they bothered this early then. I guess getting the name out there, getting the world familiar with this character that's pretty much slipped through the cracks outside of fantasy-geek circles. I have lots and lots of faith in Andrew Stanton & Co. though. We need to see Woola dammit!
Ha! JC - Hadn't noticed.
So:
Joan Crawford
Joan Collins
Jacki Collins
Can't remember anyone else in real life.
I'm a "probably no - WTF is this - this seems like Pixar's worst w/o being Pixar's and w/o me having seen Cars 2"
I was waiting to see SOMETHING to make me care. Who knows. Maybe it's just the worst trailer ever.
NO.
Looks like boring mix of 300, Prince of Persia and Avatar.
No. Just, no.
That "Contagion" trailer, on the other hand... HELL YEAH!
If this movie is half as awesome as ZARDOZ(!!!) I will be insanely happy. And not just because it will mean Tim Riggins running around in a speedo for half the movie.
Though that would help.
Agreed that no single visual element jumps out as particularly unique, but I liked the vibe of the trailer very much. Definitely a yes for me.
someone needs to write an open letter to lynn collins. remember how great she was in the merchant of venice movie (replacing a pregnant cate blanchett, no less)? she was wonderful as rosalind in as you like it in nyc's shakespeare in the park. and, dammit girl, you went to juilliard with lee pace! could you please stop with the superhero and genre films? i understand a girl's gotta eat, but you are wasting your talent playing blank-eyed heroines in big-budget boy's films. i get that you have to pay your dues, laura linney has her congo, jeanne tripplehorn has her...well, everything before big love. but it is time to read a script or get back on the stage.
signed,
a concerned fan
(looks like i wrote that open letter myself...)
In a few months, "John Carter" will be shortened to "John," and "Hugo" will just become "H." Now they're easy to be digested by a mass audience that can't be bothered to think beyond one syllable.
i say why not?! because i have no idea about what it is! (i only know the director)
Wait. It's a Mars movie...And it's not bathed in red sand and red light? Then why call it Mars!!?
The planet, not the title, sorry. Still, if you're making a Mars movie, shouldn't it be pure glowing RED?
I really do not understand why this movie isn't called "John Carter of Mars." I'm not familiar with the source material at all, but isn't "Mars" the most attention-grabbing part of the title? Did the suits think that they would be driving away business by including "Mars"? Like people who think that anything that involves Mars is stupid are automatically going to be attracted to a movie just called "John Carter"? People might think it's a big-screen adaptation of "ER." Okay, maybe I'm the only one who would think that, but that's definitely what I think of when I hear "John Carter."
It makes absolutely no sense to me. I demand an explanation!
Liz -- some overpaid suit as Disney obviously thought Mars would not appeal. Which is HILARIOUS given the box office love for genre films versus the box office love for films named after people. ;)
Yes, that's exactly the problem!
Suit: "Hmm, 'Mars' seems awfully geeky . . . "
Me: "HELLO?!?!?!? Have you looked at your box office receipts lately?"
Idiots. Why do they even bother? Why not just call it "Some Guy"?
they dropped the 'of mars' but then left the logo as JCM at the end
i think the trailer makers were as bored by it as we were
Volvagia -- i wondered about why the desert wasn't red too.
Maybe they dropped "Mars" because "Mars Needs Moms" flopped so badly earlier this year.
BIll -- that wouldn't surprise me at all. The lemmings!
wouldnt it be better to be full animated at pixar??