Introducing... Armie Hammer
Sunday, August 28, 2011 at 8:01PM 
Let's celebrate the Quarter-Century mark of one Armie Hammer... (happy birthday!) also known as Armand Douglas Hammer. 'He's 6'5", 220, and there's two of him.' Well, actually just one. But his twinned Social Network role as Cameron and Tyler, "the Winklevii", sure doubled tripled quadrupled okay greatly multiplied the size of his acting career. Hammer has the Prince Charming role in Tarsem Singh's upcoming Untitled Snow White picture but we'll next see him in Clint Eastwood's J. Edgar as Clyde Tolson, the alleged longtime lover / official longtime employee of Leonardo DiCaprio's J Edgar Hoover. So there's two of Hammer this time too in a sense.
Just for fun given his newness on the scene, I thought we'd look at how Armie has been introduced in each of the feature films he has made thus far (excluding Billy Graham the Early Years which I couldn't find. Inbetween the first few features andThe Social Network he had recurring guest roles on Gossip Girl and Reaper but we've seen neither television show.)
Introducing Armie Hammer in...
... Flicka (2006)
In Armie's film debut you can see him walking down the school hallway as "Male Prefect" as the credits are still going. In just seconds he's right near the camera and Alison Lohman is looking up at him. Them's long legs; tall people walk fast.
He says.
Catherine McLaughlin, you need to come see the headmaster.
And that's it! The whole role. Movie line = SAG card. In the credits he's sandwiched between a couple people who actually get names "Mrs Masterson" and "Gracie" just before the rodeo announcers, puppeteers and stuntmen. Auspicious beginnings.
... Blackout (2008)
Just two years later he gets his own title card, third billed, as "Tommy" in an indie thriller about three people trapped in an elevator. He's introduced mysteriously, his back turned away from the camera. Maybe he's killed the girl in the bed behind him? It's unclear but her back has some weird bloody marks on it and he's wrapping his own bloody fist. And then he dresses and loots her apartment (not nice!) before heading out to jump on his motorcycle. Armie abandons his usual preppy film look. It's amazing what a difference a haircut, earring, and tattoos can do for your look.
... Spring Breakdown (2009)
Amy Poehler to Crowd: We're going to blow your mind with a little thing called Electric Slide."
Armie is back to namelessness in his next film as "Abercrombie Boy". He appears out of focus and all judgey in the background with one of "the Sevens", the mean sorority girls that Amy Poehler's 35 year old dog trainer is hanging with. But he eventually cheers up and starts dancing; no lines.
In the scrolling credits Armie appears between "Teen Dude" and "Hookers" (LOL) but despite the esteemed company he's keeping he does actually gets to share Amy Poehler's actual title card wherein she directly adresses him and then tongues him.
You are a pretty puppy."
Shouldn't he have have been credited as "Poehler's Pretty Puppy" instead of "Abercrombie Boy"?
... The Social Network (2010)
EXT. CHARLES RIVER - DAWN
The Harvard Crew is practicing on two-man sculls. There are three baots that are running roughly even with each other and the two-man crews are rwoing with all they've got. We're gliding along with them in the water --
A CREW MEMBER
Those guys are just freaking fast.And we PULL BACK TO REVEAL that there's a fourth boat which is already five boat lengths ahead of the other three.
The fourth boat is being crewed by CAMERON and TYLER WINKLEVOSS -- identical twins who stepped out of an ad for Abercrombie & Fitch.
They know that the others aren't in their class and even though they're highly competitive athletes, they don't like showing anyone up, least of all their teammates.
CAMERON
Is there anyway to make this a fair fight?TYLER
We could jump out and swim.CAMERON
I think we'd have to jump out and drown.
Oh those smug Winklevii... Their Ivy League / Human Specimen superiority established we immediately cut to the news of a real competitor. The rest is movie (and legal) history.
When did your eyeballs first meet Armie Hammer? Are you looking forward to further introductions?
Reader Comments (18)
I hate that he's only 25 this year while I'll be closer to doom at 29 this November.
I believe the first time I laid eyes on him was a Google Image search when he was announced as Batman for the since-abandoned Justice League movie. I feel that that was all for the better. Really, the idea of having two Bruce Waynes in different franchises SIMULTAENOUSLY? What were they thinking?
He's so cute !!! Had to say it :)
Shame he's sooooooo tall
Gossip Girl. As Serena's husband. They would have made some awesome fictional children, but I remember thinking he was so terrible, I'm actually glad he got away from that and moved on to acting.
Ooh, I need to track down Blackout!
Great work, Nathaniel!
He certainly deserves my attention since he's not a bad actor (and might even improve) and, well, the obvious....
But extremely handsome though he is, I don't find him sexy. Even before I found out he's geeky.
Apparently he was in an episode of "Veronica Mars", so that must be where I first saw him. Don't remember it though. What I do remember is him playing Morgan, the Devil's son, on "Reaper".
Really miss both these shows.
I didn't realise he was quite so young: he has such gravitas.
It actually makes me hate him a little for being two years younger than me.
Though he is pretty much my definition of 'ideal man'.
Funny fact: I literally just finished watching the episode of Gossip Girl were his character is first introduced (yeah yeah, I'm like two years behind - thanks for the spoiler Thais!).
...Oh ok - not so much of a spoiler. I'm on to the next episode and It all comes out! Don't you just LOVE GG!
Yeah, he's pretty much perfect-6'5", beautiful, and obviously a complete dork. Love him-hope he can prove to be a decent actor under Eastwood's tutelage.
He was on the Veronica Mars episode 'Wichita Linebacker', playing a football player who had lost his playbook.
I first saw him in Reaper. His character died though. I loved that show. Then I saw him in Gossip Girl. Nothing else since then (still haven't seen The Social Network).
He's cute. But my favorite "twin" role that year was Edward Norton in "Leaves of Grass". He was so loose and loopy as the bad brother I hardly recognized him. And the fight scenes between the two were worked out beautifully.
Tiffany -- WHAAAAAT? Get thee to that immediately. It's so good!
HIs whole family background is very fascinating. I wonder how embarrassed his old money family was of some of those early roles. He alludes, occasionally, that they aren't exactly supportive. I think his dad is an evangelical.
Amir, I'm so so sorry for the spoiler, tohugh, like you said, he's only in GG for about a minute before the whole thing happens, so I really couldn't remember what the hell he did on the show before he showed up as Serena's hubby. He smiled at her in some bar?
Social Network, and not really. He was the weakest part of the movie.
They would certainly have made some outstanding imaginary kids, yet I keep in mind believing he was so dreadful, I'm in fact glad he acquired away from that and also gone on to acting.