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« Palm Dog. The Tradition Continues. "Woof Woof" | Main | Tim's Toons: Animated Features at Cannes »
Friday
May222015

Don't Be Fooled by the Librarian Looks That She's Got...

For The Lusty Month of May, we're looking at sex scene each night. Here's Jose...


 

J.Lo never gets the credit she deserves. She might not be the greatest thespian in the world, but she's still one of the few actresses bringing "sex" to modern movie screens. You know, the kind of "sex" people like Mae West, Rita Hayworth, Brigitte Bardot and Raquel Welch used to bring. But of course what has Hollywood done with this? They have repressed her sensuality by having her star in Victorian-minded rom-coms like The Wedding Planner and The Back-up Plan in which she plays virginal characters that need a man or a baby to find contentment. Never one to sit around and wait, the fierce multi-hyphenated overachiever had to take matters into her own hands. She produced a movie in which she showed once and for all, how what J.Lo wants, J.Lo gets!

more

The Boy Next Door is far from being a good movie, but it's remained fresh in my memory for half a year, because of its delightful, almost subversive reversal of roles when it comes to sexual thrillers. Basically this time around J.Lo gets to play the Michael Douglas character and have a hot young dude (Ryan Guzman) stalk her. But before they get down and dirty the movie pokes fun at elements that men diss women's films for, in the process showing audiences more about "what a girl wants" than 50 Shades of Grey did.

I will also be using J.Lo lyrics to illustrate the action and how "auteur" like her sexual empowerment oeuvre is... so without further ado...

 

First, the hot young dude (we won't even give him a name) presents her with a "first edition of The Illiad". 

I'm here to get it poppin', hoppin, let's ride up in the Benz
Hair blowin' in the wind, sun glistenin' off my skin, hey

- from "I'm Real (Murda Mix)"

 

Making her blush and wink at "chick lit" while suggesting how real she is.
 

I met so many men and
It's like they're all the same
My appetite for lovin'
Is now my hunger pain 

- from "I'm Real (Murda Mix)"

 

Then he compliments the new shoes she bought and reminds her she doesn't need to try to be sexy.

And when I'm feelin' sexy
Who's gonna comfort me
My only problem is
Their insecurity

- from "I'm Real (Murda Mix)"

 

She tries the shoes on and realizes "this dude can get it".

I'm about to sign you up, we can get right
Before the night is up, we can get
get riiiiiiiight get riiiiiiight, we can get right

 - from "Get Right"

 

And boy he does! But, and this is where the movie got really interesting, even though he has been doing all the wooing, the sex scene is all about how he needs to please her

Can't a woman take advantage of what she wants? 

- from "Get Right"

 

Think about it...when's the last time you saw a wide release which had a man focus on a woman's pleasure that didn't recur to the same old man-on-top-woman-below-achieves-orgasm-the-second-they-get-started dynamic that Hollywood has falsely made men believe to be true?

Now to feel your lips
On my fingertips
I have to say is even better
Then I ever thought it could possibly be

- from "Waiting for Tonight"

 

In The Boy Next Door, dude has to work for it! 

I think you need to take some time 
To show me that your love is true 

- from "Love Don't Cost a Thing"

 

And J.Lo knows exactly what she wants! 

Now if I give you me / This is how it's got to be


 - from "If You Had My Love"


But if you want me
You have to be
Fulfilling all my dreams
If you really want me, babe

 - from "If You Had My Love"

In one of the boldest sex scenes in any recent movie, the man focuses on the woman and the screen fades to black before any sort of penetration is suggested!


Boy you do it, do it
You do it, do it
You're doin' it well

- from "Do It Well"

Then he gets all loony and killer-ish, but that's another story.


...and mic drop.

 

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Reader Comments (21)

I'm not fooled by her poor singing and acting skills. I'm not fooled by the rocks she's got or her bling-bling, her cars, and all of that. She ain't Jenny from the Block. She's Jenny from that street corner turning tricks.

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSteven

This post is a Masterpiece! LOL

May 22, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterfadhil

Post of the year!

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterInfamous

J lo is the modern day Cher a total fool but a gr8 celebrity and we still have OOS from 98.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMARK

So basically the moral of the movie is that when a man shows you he wants to please you, he's probably a psycho because normal men don't do that. :p

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJames T

James T -- and your point is ? (heh)

May 23, 2015 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Haven't seen the movie yet, but this is a great post. Really enjoyed reading this.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterWendell

JLo is one hot Latina

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJaragon

DO NOT COMPARE J.LO TO CHER

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRyan

Steven: she built an empire for herself and is unarguably one of the most powerful women in the world! If that's what you want to call a "street corner" then we have extremely different world views. Also, how ungentlemanly of you to call a woman that. Your mother would not be proud. Tisk tisk.

fadhil, Infamous and Wendell: you flatter me! Glad you enjoyed it.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJose

Please. J. Lo is the Hamburger Helper version of Cher.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterrick gould

A much as she's been attached to some garbage, a world without J. Lo. would be a much less interesting place indeed.
As an actress, I think she mostly does what she can, and we have Out of Sight to be grateful for. As a celebrity, I think she's pretty perfect.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMike in Canada

So strange to read anything about this person on this site. Don´t know, I´m so used to excellent write-ups about real actors and filmmakers than this seems totally out of place.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLuca

Cher is vulnerable and candid. J.Lo is a void.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered Commenter3rtful

This was brilliant. lol.

and I don't care who knows. I LOVE THE WEDDING PLANNER.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDerreck.

@Jose-An empire? Yeah, right.

May 23, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSteven

Ryan Guzman is unearthly handsome in this movie.

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJase

I LOVED The Boy Next Door for the knowing piece of camp trash that it is, and it's true, this scene is all kinds of amazing. BUT... As to comparing it to Fifty Shades of Grey?

It's interesting to note that JLo pointedly bares neither her ass nor her breasts completely, and that while both films are more focused on the woman's body and pleasure, Noah is far more aggressive during their first sexual encounter than Christian is with Ana, and Claire says "No" and "Stop" numerous times. Admittedly, part of this is genre tropes, but compare these two films and this much is clear: One of them is about a woman going after what she wants and opening herself up to her own sexuality and identity, and one is about a woman who is violated (sexually and in other ways) by a man and is tortured for it. One of them has generated dozens of thinkpieces about how bad it is for women, and one has been greeted with little more than a shrug.

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdenny

Even though the shade she throws at Mariah is unnecessary, I can appreciate J.Lo. At the very least you have to admire her resilience.

As for the movie, I had no intentions of ever seeing it, but it seems like it could be trashy fun.

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterthefilmjunkie

While I agree that it's great and all too rare to see a sex scene focused on the woman, as a gay man I'm still disappointed that there's such a hot actor in a sex scene and they don't focus on him! Oh well. Can't have it all.

Love this write-up and this series in general. I wonder if Diane Lane in "Unfaithful" will be written about?

May 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDJDeeJay

I try to hate JLo, but it can be difficult. I really enjoyed how she took her job seriously on American Idol and went that extra step to make the contestants feel good about themselves. Still, one of my greatest guilty cinematic pleasures is watching Jane Fonda torture her in Monster-in-Law. Yeah, good stuff! She pretty much deserves everything Jane dishes out.

May 26, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbrookesboy
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