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Trailer Leftovers: "Alien", "Snatched", and "Apes"

Chris here, still nursing our holiday hangover. To go with the massive amount of films descending upon the multiplexes at the holiday season, there is always an equally large amount of trailers to catch up to. Let's revisit the gluttony by reheating some trailer leftovers we've yet to discuss here, including Goldie Hawn's comeback vehicle Snatched, the hyperviolent & NSFW first look at Alien: Covenant, and the next installment of those damn dirty Apes!


  • What a buzzkill. We were so hyped for a Goldie Hawn revival and this trailer mostly hides her - surely they could spare even a moment for hosannas of her return?
  • There's an unfortunately air of tasteless cliche here, with South America presented as inherently dangerous and white ladies' cluelessness as charming. Are they really going to make human trafficking jokes?
  • This is pretty much all broad jokes for Schumer, and not nearly all of her jokes land. But the Trainwreck trailers didn't show her more interesting, subdued moments. Hopefully, Snatched has some of that. 
  • But the screenplay was written by Katie Dippold of The Heat and Ghostbusters. If we don't get character nuance, at least we know she delivers on belly laughs.

Alien: Covenant

  • Ouch. This isn't so much of a teaser for the film as it is for the kills. We barely even get typically stoic Ridley Scott visuals.
  • Remember that divide between the Prometheus trailers and Prometheus itself? Maybe this can do the opposite with bad trailers and a solid movie.
  • The film has an intriguing ensemble (Danny McBride, huh?), but Noomi Rapace seems purposefully absent. Place your bets now that her Shaw only returns via some plot device like video diaries or the like.
  • Does the use of "Nature Boy" hint that Covenant will turn by the motivations Michael Fassbender's new bot Walter just as Prometheus did for David? I'd also watch for Walter to be the connective tissue bridging Prometheus to the larger Alien universe.

War for the Planet of the Apes

  • Now that's how you do a franchise teaser. Captivating visuals, sell the main conflict without giving away the full arc. I'm there.
  • Can you believe that neither of the previous instalments were Oscar awarded for their visual effects? They may not be the most revolutionary films to utilize motion capture, but they are perhaps the most impressive for audience buy-in.
  • Such a relief to see Woody Harrelson do an about face to his recent rascals and go full evil! The Hunger Games did a lot to dampen one of our most unpredicatble actors for a few years there.
  • Cue the "timely thinkpieces" now. And the reemergence of honorary Oscar talk for Andy Serkis.

What do you think of these trailer leftovers? Which film are you most excited to see this summer?

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Reader Comments (12)

no, maybe, yes

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterpar

The Alien trailer is quite awful but apparently all the stuff in the trailer is from the first half of the film.

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMARKGORDONUK

Caesar rules

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHuh

The premisse of Snatched is offensive. I am a NO

The otther two i'm a YES

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTheBoyFromBrazil

So glad Streep passed on Snatched!

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

A big HELL NO to SNATCHED. Sure for ALIEN. YES for APES.

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRyan T.

Hawn looks funny.

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMARKGORDONUK

NSFW? I always wonder where people work these days...

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPaul Outlaw

Snatched... no... Amy Schumer is not funny and this is beneath Goldie.

Alien: Covenant.... maybe though I was disappointed the trailer didn't use a David Bowie though technically, "Nature Boy" was covered by Bowie in Moulin Rouge.

War for the Planet of the Apes.... YES!

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSteven

Snatched - hideous. Offensive. No.

More Aliens - maybe if good. Fassbender has aged a lot.

More Apes - unlikely.

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJono

Alien 3 was unarguably flawed but unique, underrated, and a perfect end to the Alien saga. Everything in its wake (Resurrection, A v P, Prometheus) has been a dire cash grab, and this looks no different.

Snatched looks like a hungover rental. I laughed at the whale come joke. Come at me.

War of the Apes looks pretty good. It's a decent franchise, but I hope that the script matches the FX and mo-cap performances this time.

Blade Runner 2049 is the only 2017 teaser/trailer so far that legit got my heart beating faster.

December 27, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDaniel H.

I agree with Daniel re: Alien 3. It was a bold piece of work and a fitting end to the series. I don't remember Resurrection too well other than thinking it was fairly entertaining, Sigourney was awesome, and Winona was woefully miscast.

Having Ridley Scott at the helm for this one gives me hope and makes me want to see it--but Prometheus was such a snooze, and he was behind that one, so I'm not sure what to expect here. I guess I love the first three so much that I'd be excited to see another GOOD Alien film. Hopefully this one delivers.

December 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

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