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Moving Day

by Nathaniel R

Frances Ha

For those wondering why I've been so quiet during Oscar month, please bear with me a little while longer. After much chaos in my offline life and a painful end to a long relationship (...but let's not get into that), it's moving day. Or days.

It occurred to me today that movies skip over this physically exhausting and emotionally taxing work in seconds usually. Where's the magical montage that transports me from No-Longer-Home to New Place in like 10-30 whimsical but melancholy seconds? Because this real time continuous-shot business is no fun. Even Lav Diaz would think this running time indulgent.

But back to boxes and chaos. Here's to fresh starts.

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Reader Comments (50)

Sorry to read all this.

Really hopeful that time will pass quickly and you put this all behind.

Work, work, work and be kind to yourself!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMarcelo - Brazil

commiserations, Nathaniel. all the best with the move.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermatt

Sad to hear this. Good luck with the moving and everything.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDrew

So sorry to hear this! Best of luck in your next step. I heart The Film Experience!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRichard

Sorry to hear about all that you're going through. Be kind to yourself during this difficult period. Hang in there and it will pass.

Hello, My Name is Doris captured some of the trauma of packing up a home. But I always love Agnetha Faltskog painting the walls of her new apartment yellow in the video clip for ABBA's One of Us - filmed in Lasse Hallstrom's actual apartment in Stockholm.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSteve G

How exciting to live in a new space. I know the process of moving is crap. But take the opportunity for reinvention (Madonna, Cher, Tilda, Grace, and God knows who else). Cheer up. You're nearly industry now. Get yourself a foreign boyfriend. American white boys are trash.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commenter/3rtful


as usual you are totally full of venom. I cannot even imagine you in ANY kind of a relationship. You have no empathy in your whole being.

@Nathaniel. I know you will spring back quickly and enjoy the life that is set out for you to follow. Good Luck!!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commentergrrr

Sorry to hear that, Nathaniel. </3

Good luck with moving and take your time with the content.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

Sending you my best wishes to get through this difficult time

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterVaus

To fresh starts, best of luck!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRicopolo


I'm casting Armie Hammer as you in the film version of this moment in time of your life :-)

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDAVID

I know the ending of a relationship always is dusted with elegiac. So sorry.
Maybe sometime we can explore our favorite films dealing with fresh starts to a more happy place.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

All my love and support, as always.
Grateful for you.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBeau

So sorry to read all of this, but I’m wishing you nothing but the best!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterthefilmjunkie

Sorry to hear about the private life upheaval. All the best with the move. I find that every time I move, the stages are succesively more enjoyable. Packing is the worst. Loading onto the van not much good either. (Hire yourself some super-fit guys to help - it'll make you feel like a sassy writer out of a Jacqueline Susann novel!) But as soon as you've closed the door on the place you're leaving, things pick up. /3rtful's right in that it's exciting to be in a new space. And hey: it's Oscar season! Thinking of you.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterEdward L.

The last it happened to me I entered a marathon of divorce movies. Somehow this made me get some distance from my own failed relationship. It became one more movie, and then I could analyze things and reach the conclusion the my performance was terrible. Don't try to escape from the subject. The more exaustive your thoughts get, the faster you can put the failure behind you.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commentercal roth

If more of us lived near you, you could throw a TFE Moving Party and count on dozens of us to show up to help.

Moving makes me think of Leon’s houseplant. Look at it this way: even after a few tumultuous moves, it ends up finding a good home with Natalie Portman.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJames from Ames

@Steve G--Whenever I go through a breakup / significant life change, I imagine myself as Agnetha in the 'One of Us' music video. It captures the potential to reinvent yourself as well as the melancholy over leaving an old life behind. Gorgeous vocals, too.

Wishing you all the best during this difficult time, Nathaniel!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMike M.

Dear Nathaniel,
I sincerely wish you a new fresh start in this new season of your life. I also hope to read you soon because you are easily missed.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJorge

Good luck Nathaniel-yes too bad life can't be like a movie all the time- but everything often turns alright at the end

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterjaragon

Good luck. I can tell you haven't been doing so well, but I hope you find a fresh start in your new place. I really appreciate your gentle good nature, which is essential to fostering the community here. I am looking forward to reading your top 10 list when you are ready to post it!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Dear Nat, I am a foreigner and I am in need of a boyfriend.The most important thing is that I love Pfeiffer and Bening. Feel free to contact me. xoxo

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSolomon

I'll add my condolences on the causes related to the move. Quite a few moving companies actually have lists of movies about moving. Here's one example.

But your point about how movies gloss over the mixture of tedium and minor or major heartbreak associated with moving is well taken. It's something Chantal Ackerman might have pulled off exceedingly well. May she rest in peace. I loved Spirited Away' s treatment of what relocating entails for young people who are uprooted from the only reality they've known.

May you find happiness in your new home!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDavide

I'm sorry that you've been having a difficult time-- good luck with your move! Wishing you all the best.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArabella

I second the TFE moving party!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBushwick

I'd do the whole Elder's Quorum moving day thing for you if I was there. Good luck to you!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterDave in Hollywood

hi nathaniel—i’d seen that you’d written a bit in the past few weeks about some upheaval and i’m sorry to read this post. hope you have a support system nearby to help out... maybe someone who will make you the crab thing? hugs xo

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCharles O

Virtual moving party!!

I am a Cancer and we love our homes. I have to leave mine in a few months, too. Thinking of you.

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJakey



February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterpar


February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterforever1267

Come to Brazil meu anjo

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJão

Is it too early to play matchmaking? Contact Solomon!

February 13, 2018 | Unregistered Commentercal roth

Sissy that walk, Nathaniel! We are cheering for you! All the best and may you have continued boundless moments of comfort and contentment. xo

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJones

Dear Nat, I wish you all the best in moving, in all the sense of that word.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterIan

Sorry to hear what you are going through. As soon as you settle treat yourself with a big nice Pfeiffer movie marathon. Best wishes from Spain.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeisgrados

So sorry Nathaniel. Take your time - we’ll be here when you’re ready!

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

Cal --LOL. It's maybe a smidge too soon. The breakup was 6 weeks ago... but maybe Solomon can call me in the spring if he's age appropriate because loving Pfeiffer & Bening are important attractive qualities. I like the idea of a marathon of divorce movies. Hmmm.

Solomon - call me in the spring xo

Jão - if I could afford it I would. For some reason we've always had lots of readers in Brazil.

Steve G -- ooh. I'm totally watching ONE OF US today. Coincidentally that's my all time favorite ABBA song.

David -- this is a kind thought. If Armie Hammer is now playing me I just grew 7 inches.

/3rtful - reinvention I will try. But I cant change being an "American white boy" so you just called me trash. Just sayin'.

everyone -- thanks for the well wishes.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNATHANIEL R

So sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time.Wishing you the best for the future.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAdam H

My first ever post on here - I couldn't not send you a big hug. To say we have all been there is to ignore just how individual every relationship is in life. Without any crass platitudes, I just wish you well and hope you can continue to find the joy and life in movies that you bring to all of us avid readers here. [But I still wish I had thought of some witty amazing quote from Nicole or Cate...]

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterAndrewR

Andrew R -- thank you. it's always a surprise and joy when faithful readers comment for the first time!

February 14, 2018 | Registered CommenterNATHANIEL R

Fill your new home with positive energy. Good things are always coming and we have to give ourselves the opportunity to see them.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPedro

Dear Nathaniel-
Thinking of you. This blog and TFE has certainly brightened my mood on dark days. Chin up, little buckaroo.

Hope all of your picks win the Oscar!

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Best of luck Nathaniel! You bring a lot of people a lot of joy and may never fully know it. Hope you're adjusted into the new place and back on your feet soon!

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterT-Bone

Nathaniel- I hope your new place turns out to be unexpectedly satisfying and that unlooked for pleasures come your way.

Moving always reminds me of those old ads, "This is your brain on..." as decisions get tinier and tinier and you find yourself staring at some random possession, thinking what now?

On one of my moves, an acquaintance showed up at my door, and took on the burden of decision making. She took my dishes to the woman's shelter, she took things to people who needed them. I hadn't even thought of that. I didn't know her that well before, but ... Best Friend Ever.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered Commenteradri

Here's hoping a new start will be just what you need. :)

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered Commentereurocheese

I'll look for you on Tindr in the spring, Nathaniel. ;)

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBushwick

All good and positive vibes your way!

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterRyan T.

Stay strong Nathaniel.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMDA

Take your time, you will be stronger than ever after all of this.

February 14, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJack for Streep


I am sorry to hear about your troubles. I know it will all turn around for you.
I wanted to say that I found your blog when I was in college. As a young, queer movie loving man from a small town, I felt a little alone in my movie passion. However, since being on your blog I feel part of a special group. Thanks to you I feel connected to a community. I know other visitors here feel the same way. Thank you so much for what you do. You have given so much to others, so now take time for yourself. We will all be here for you.

February 15, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTom

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